Some Math For The Romantics Here At Cr.net, Somebody's got to warn you

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy


SHOPPING MATH


A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.


GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS


A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man,
you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman,
you must love her a lot and not try understand her at all.


MEMORY

Any married man should forget his mistakes,
there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.


APPEARANCE

Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
Women somehow deteriorate during the night.


PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.


DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

Hey MacE!

I thought this was hilarious!

My wife, on the other hand...

About the smart women ...............

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where
their family member lay gravely ill.

Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.

"I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed
the worried faces.

"The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain
transplant.

It's an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only
hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for
the brain yourselves."

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a
great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?"

The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200
for a female brain."

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile,
avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.

A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question
everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the male brain so much more?"

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the
entire group, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down
the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used."

About the smart women ...............

In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room, where
their family member lay gravely ill.

Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.

"I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed
the worried faces.

"The only hope left for your loved one at this time is a brain
transplant.

It's an experimental procedure, very risky but it is the only
hope. Insurance will cover the procedure, but you will have to pay for
the brain yourselves."

The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a
great length of time, someone asked, "Well, how much does a brain cost?"

The doctor quickly responded, "$5,000 for a male brain, and $200
for a female brain."

The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile,
avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked.

A man unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question
everyone wanted to ask, "Why is the male brain so much more?"

The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and explained to the
entire group, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down
the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used."