The good news is that there's a great bargain on plane fares to Miami right now.
The bad news is that you're pretty much out in the middle of nowhere with no means of transportation and the airport is 25 miles away...and, did I mention that snow that's really starting to come down about now?
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The good news is that you make your way to a highway.
The bad news is that the first car to stop and pick you up is driven by . . . HELGA!! (New posters, check the history of this thread! Helga is a recurring character)
The good news is that the chains slip off easily (Helga's not really that good at equipping the car for this weather) and you can use them as a makeshift weapon.
The bad news is that you don't realize you have run onto a frozen lake and are sliding out of control - right towards HELGA!!!
The good news is that you were not very high and make a soft landing. The bad news is that you are even farther away from the airport.
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God then made man. The Italians for their beauty. The French for their cuisine. The Welsh for their voices. The Germans for their cars. And on and on until He looked at what He had created and said, "This is all very well, but no-one is having fun. I'll have to make an Irishman."