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Lady of the Loch 
Posted: 14-Sep-2006, 07:42 AM
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How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?


Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"


Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?


Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?


Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?


The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.


Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.




Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.




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I thought these were funny
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CelticCoalition 
Posted: 14-Sep-2006, 08:54 AM
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Thanks! Those made me smile on a rough morning.


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And those who don't love us
May God turn their hearts,
And if He doesn't turn their hearts,
May He turn their ankles,
So we'll know them by their limping.
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gcw57 
  Posted: 23-Sep-2006, 05:25 AM
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...or why we park on driveways and drive on parkways?

Why does Hawaii have an Interstate highway? Someone planning on driving to Oregon?

Thanks for sharing these thoughts....that will probably keep me awake all night. rolleyes.gif


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TheCarolinaScotsman 
Posted: 23-Sep-2006, 06:13 AM
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QUOTE (Lady of the Loch @ 14-Sep-2006, 08:42 AM)
There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.


Reminds me that years ago when an expansion American League baseball team started playing in Los Angelos, the comment was made that all pedestrians there were either Dodgers or Angels.


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Ya'll drive safe and come back soon.
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ballydun 
Posted: 24-Sep-2006, 01:03 AM
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Cute,cute,cute!


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[color=red]"I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision." Maya Angelou





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j Padraig moore 
Posted: 29-Sep-2006, 11:36 AM
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QUOTE (Lady of the Loch @ 14-Sep-2006, 07:42 AM)


If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?


Would that make them "testicles"???

boff.gif

bangin.gif
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Lady of the Loch 
Posted: 29-Sep-2006, 08:23 PM
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QUOTE (j Padraig moore @ 29-Sep-2006, 11:36 AM)
QUOTE (Lady of the Loch @ 14-Sep-2006, 07:42 AM)


If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?


Would that make them "testicles"???

boff.gif

bangin.gif

clap.gif biggrin.gif laugh.gif good one...rofl...hahahahahaha
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Robert Phoenix 
Posted: 30-Sep-2006, 05:03 PM
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...if adult movies are closed captioned for the hearing impaired?


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"Irishness is not primary a question of birth or blood or language; it is the condition on being involved in the Irish situation, and usually of being mauled by it."-Conor Cruise O'Brien

Pour mouth to mouth
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Eiric 
Posted: 18-Oct-2006, 01:53 AM
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Mowahahahaha! Soooo funny!


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If you think you can hold me down
I beg to differ
If you think you can twist my words
I'll sing forever



Tha gach uile dhuine air a bhreth saor agus co-ionnan ann an urram 's ann an c˛irichean. Tha iad air am breth le reusan is le cogais agus mar sin bu ch˛ir dhaibh a bhith be˛ nam measg fhein ann an spiorad brÓthaireil

If you think you can hold me down
I beg to differ
If you think you can twist my words
I'll sing forever
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