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> Pub humour, Jokes o'plenty
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free2Bme 
Posted: 07-Apr-2003, 11:28 AM
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He Said She Said

He said... I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got nothing to put in it.

She said...You wear briefs, don't you?

He said... Do you love me just because my father left me a fortune?

She said...Not at all honey, I would love you no matter who left you the money.

She said...What do you mean by coming home half drunk?

He said... It's not my fault...I ran out of money.

He said... Since I first laid eyes on you, I've wanted to make love to you in the worst way.

She said...Well, you succeeded.

He said... 'Two inches more, and I would be king'

She said...'Two inches less, and you'd be queen'


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Jimmy Carbomb 
Posted: 07-Apr-2003, 12:55 PM
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Wasn't sure whether this should go to this thread, or in the Iraq Conflict area. I chose the obvious humor route...


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tartangal 
  Posted: 07-Apr-2003, 02:52 PM
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lol. TEHEHE. lIKED THAT ONE!

                      Jules :D  :laugh:


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barddas 
  Posted: 08-Apr-2003, 01:03 PM
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ok, that was funny.....


:p


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Cabbagehome 
Posted: 09-Apr-2003, 11:23 AM
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Wow ther have been some really good one lately.  Even if some are oldies they are still good to hear again.
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RavenWing 
Posted: 10-Apr-2003, 08:39 AM
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I got that one too.  I e-mailed it to everybody  :D


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Jimmy Carbomb 
Posted: 11-Apr-2003, 01:41 PM
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A "chicken joke" NOT for the kids:

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on its face.

The egg, looking a bit ticked-off, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and says,

"Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"

:D
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tartangal 
  Posted: 11-Apr-2003, 01:46 PM
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LOL.LMAO



                          :D Jules
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free2Bme 
Posted: 12-Apr-2003, 09:22 AM
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A forty year old woman was at home jumping on her bed and squealing with delight. Her husband watches her for a while and then asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you anyway?"

The woman joyously continues to bounce on the bed and says "I don't care. I just came from having a mammogram and the doctor says I have the breasts of an 18 year old."

The husband said, "What did he say about your 40 year old ass?"

"Your name never came up," she answered...




The most wasted day of all is one in which we have not laughed.
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Jimmy Carbomb 
Posted: 13-Apr-2003, 03:44 PM
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Father O'Malley was telling his congregation that anything they could think of, old or new was covered in the Bible. After the service, he was approached by Mrs. Flaherty who said, "Father, I don't believe the Bible mentions PMS." Father O'Malley replied that he was sure it must be covered in there someplace, and he would look for it. The following week after the service, he called Mrs. Flaherty aside and showed her a passage which read:
"And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem!!!!!"
:D

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free2Bme 
Posted: 14-Apr-2003, 07:27 AM
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An oldie but a goody ! LOL! :laugh:
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Jimmy Carbomb 
Posted: 14-Apr-2003, 05:50 PM
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barddas 
  Posted: 15-Apr-2003, 02:06 PM
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Very funny Gaelic Bread!!!

:D
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free2Bme 
Posted: 15-Apr-2003, 09:47 PM
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It reminds me of a very old running gag on Saturday Night Live!  ROFL!  :D
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Jimmy Carbomb 
Posted: 18-Apr-2003, 07:11 PM
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~A potpourri of thoughts and stories~

Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.

A visitor from The Netherlands was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag.
"Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them."
"That's the same with us," the American said, "only we see stars, too."

~And my personal favorite~

If you jog in a jogging suit, lounge in lounging pajamas, and smoke in a smoking jacket, WHY would anyone want to wear a windbreaker??
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