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> Blonde Jokes, Need em!
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Annabelle 
Posted: 03-Apr-2005, 10:12 AM
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Going to be doing Blonde's this month special in the salon...we need blonde jokes to share so if you know one put it on here.

Thanks,
Annabelle



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Keltic 
Posted: 03-Apr-2005, 10:47 AM
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This extremely beautiful redhead walks into the doctor's office and says that her whole body is in pain. It doesn't matter where she touches, she feels extreme pain.

The doctor says, "I've never seen anyone with extreme pain all over and still be able to walk in to my office. Why don't you show me where it hurts."

The woman proceeds to touch her thigh and screams out loud. She then touches her stomach and lets out a bloodcurdling cry. Next she touches her arm and screams again. Finally she touches her head and again screams in agony.

The doctor looks at her and says, "Are you really a redhead?"
The woman replies, "No, I'm actually a blonde."
The doctor says, "I thought so... Your finger is broken."


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gaberlunzie 
Posted: 03-Apr-2005, 12:49 PM
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BLONDE ON THE SUN:

A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The
Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American
said,"We were the first on the moon!" The Blonde said, "So
what, we're going to be the first on the sun!" The Russian and
the American looked at each other and shook their heads. "You
can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the
Russian.. To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you
know. We're going at night!"


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"Now here's my secret", said the fox, "it is very simple. It is only with ones heart that one can see clearly. What is essential is invisible to the eye."

("The Little Prince" by Antoine de Saint-Exupery)


"The soul would have no rainbow, if the eye had no tears."
(Native American Proverb)
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gaberlunzie 
Posted: 03-Apr-2005, 12:53 PM
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Here's one I really like: biggrin.gif

A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you."
She then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Blonde."
The Blonde then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.
The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.
The Blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"


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gaberlunzie 
Posted: 03-Apr-2005, 01:04 PM
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Three women are about to be executed. One's a brunette, one's a redhead, and one's a blonde. Two guards brings the brunette forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
Suddenly the brunette yells, "earthquake!!"
Everyone is startled and looks around. She manages to escape.
The angry guards then bring the redhead forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The redhead then screams, "tornado!!"
Yet again, everyone is startled and looks around. She too escapes execution.
By this point, the blonde had figured out what the others did. The guards bring her forward, and the executioner asks if she has any last requests.
She also says no, and the executioner shouts, "Ready . . . Aim . . ."
The blonde shouts, "fire!!"

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maggiemahone1 
Posted: 03-Apr-2005, 07:11 PM
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No offence anyone...... biggrin.gif

She was Sooooooo Blonde.

She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She thought General Morors was in the army.
She thought Meow Mix was a cd for cats.
She tripped over a cordless phone.
She studied for a blood test.
She sold the car for gas money.
When she missed bus no. 44 she took bus no. 22 twice instead.
She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said "concentrate."
When she went to the airport and saw a sign that said, "Airport Left," she turned around and went home.
She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
She told me to meet her at the corner of "WALK and"DON"T WALK".

She thinks taco bell is the Mexican phone Company.

maggiemahone1 (redhead wink.gif )
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WizardofOwls 
Posted: 03-Apr-2005, 07:36 PM
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Here's a good one for you:

What is it called when a blonde who dyes her hair brown?
Artificial intelligence!

And here are a few more one liners:

Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing out all the Ws!

What do you call 7 blondes standing in a row?
A wind tunnel!

How do you drown a blonde?
Put a scratch & sniff sticker at the bottom of the swimming pool!

What do you call 3 blondes in a freezer?
Frosted Flakes!

Why did the blondes die at the Drive-In Theater?
They went to see Closed For the Winter!

How can you tell when a blonde has been using your computer?
There is white-out on the monitor screen!




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Sln agus beannachd,
Allen R. Alderman

'S i Alba tr mo chridhe. 'S i Gidhlig cnan m' anama.
Scotland is the land of my heart. Gaelic is the language of my soul.
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TheCarolinaScotsman 
Posted: 04-Apr-2005, 06:42 PM
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Why do blondes have more fun? Because they are so easily amused.


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TheCarolinaScotsman


Ya'll drive safe and come back soon.
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VetteGal 
Posted: 05-Apr-2005, 01:25 AM
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Now I am a blonde so I have heard a few.

How does the blonde know when sex is finished?
The dome light comes on.

What does the blonde say when you blow in her ear?
Thanks for the refill.

And for the second part to Wiz's about the computer screen
And how do you know if another blonde has followed behind her?
There is writing on the white-out.

And now for the one that I can relate from personal experience, this really happened, TO ME!

One day when I was 16 and my brother was 9, he comes up to me and looks in my ear and said "Space, the final frontier, these are the voyages of the Starship Enterprise, their ongoing misiion is to find a brain in this empty skull,..." And that is when I hit him. He still does it to this day, but now he is to fast for me to hit.


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Blessed Be.

Merry meet, merry part, merry meet again.

Do as ye will, but harm ye none.

Nikki
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