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TheCarolinaScotsman 
Posted: 14-Nov-2004, 03:47 PM
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No, you're nor over reacting. You are the parent. Insist to your daughters that they must ask permission before any of their friends come over. I'm sure that, given what you've said, most of the time you'd agree. But don't feel guilty about saying no sometimes. Your daughters must learn that while they are important to you, the world in general does not revolve around them. In short, hold your daughters responsible for their friends actions at your house and put teeth in it. You'll be surprised how quickly you recieve co-operation.


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Dreamer1 
Posted: 14-Nov-2004, 04:45 PM
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Thank you! You've made me feel better about this morning.

Our daughters are good about asking our permission first, but they're being put on the spot by friends who're on the phone expecting them to ask us while they hang on. I always try to come up with a creative answer for them if I say "no". I just don't think they should be put in that spot in the first place. I wonder if their parents know what they're teaching their kids?

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susieq76 
Posted: 15-Nov-2004, 11:00 AM
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My guess is that those parents know exactly what they are doing. The same type of thing is happening to my neighbor across the street. I don't think you are overreacting. The rule at our house is that if other children don't reciprocate with invitations, then they don't get asked over as much. That is just teaching your children about give and take in friendship and life. What you teach them now about that will shape all their future relationships, so don't lose heart or give up. You are doing the right thing. And there is no law saying that you can't unplug your phone, or not answer it, or that your kids will be scarred for life for missing a few phone calls! smile.gif


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gettin-away 
Posted: 28-Nov-2004, 05:59 PM
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And the worst part is they all grow up..... I've been a single father since my wife passed away in 1981. Just three and a half months after my daughter was born. My Amanda was born extremely premature, three months early and she weighed only 2 pounds. Early in her hospital stay she lost precious ounces until she weighed only 1 pound 11 ounces. That's lighter than a large loaf of bread. My daughter has cerebral palsy and at three I was told she probably wouldn't walk and she wouldn't finish school. The best she would do is wipe off tables in a fast food restaurant. It's been 23 long years with several operations and many obstacles but when my daughter graduated from our local public high school in 2000, she had a grade point average of 3.96 and she was chosen as her schools' Homecoming Queen and she walked onto the field to receive her crown. This past week she finished student teaching and she has passed the needed tests. She is a teacher cool.gif . In the Spring she will once again be student teaching, this time to earn her Special Education Endorsement.

But right now I'm a nervous wreck. On Dec. 1st, this Wednesday, she'll be entering the hospital for a rather involved surgery. The first part of the surgery will be to have her hamstrings of her left leg stretched. This will be the second time this will be done. The first time she was 3 years old. The second part of the surgery will be to break her hip and relocate it. On younger children this has helped with balance and walking. At Mandy's age her knee now depends on the tightness of both the hip and the hamstrings to support her. She is running the risk of possible walking with a knee brace the rest of her life or worse a wheelchair. Even when they're adults you can't stop worrying sad.gif . We could sure use your thoughts and prayers on Wednesday.

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gaberlunzie 
Posted: 28-Nov-2004, 06:20 PM
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Be sure Mandy and you will be in my...and I think in our all...thoughts and prayers, gettin-away!


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Dreamer1 
Posted: 28-Nov-2004, 10:48 PM
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Special prayers for both of you. Give her hugs for all of us, and let her know she's in all our thoughts.

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maisky 
Posted: 29-Nov-2004, 08:24 AM
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QUOTE (Dreamer1 @ 14-Nov-2004, 01:44 PM)
Hi everyone,

......


So, now that I've ranted, please tell me what you think. Am I being unreasonable and mean? Or am I justified, and within my rights to want a quiet day without anyone coming over? How would you handle things? Please let me know what you honestly think, and thanks for letting me spout.

Dreamer1 angel_not.gif

You are NOT over-reacting. A thought for you, though. If the parties are at YOUR house, you know what is going ON at the parties.... biggrin.gif My owner (second wife) and I took that approach with some success. Having a pool helped loads.
You DO have to feel free to say no sometimes.


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maisky 
Posted: 29-Nov-2004, 08:26 AM
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QUOTE (gettin-away @ 28-Nov-2004, 04:59 PM)
And the worst part is they all grow up..... I've been a single father since my wife passed away in 1981. Just three and a half months after my daughter was born. My Amanda was born extremely premature, three months early and she weighed only 2 pounds. Early in her hospital stay she lost precious ounces until she weighed only 1 pound 11 ounces. That's lighter than a large loaf of bread. My daughter has cerebral palsy and at three I was told she probably wouldn't walk and she wouldn't finish school. The best she would do is wipe off tables in a fast food restaurant. It's been 23 long years with several operations and many obstacles but when my daughter graduated from our local public high school in 2000, she had a grade point average of 3.96 and she was chosen as her schools' Homecoming Queen and she walked onto the field to receive her crown. This past week she finished student teaching and she has passed the needed tests. She is a teacher cool.gif . In the Spring she will once again be student teaching, this time to earn her Special Education Endorsement.

But right now I'm a nervous wreck. On Dec. 1st, this Wednesday, she'll be entering the hospital for a rather involved surgery. The first part of the surgery will be to have her hamstrings of her left leg stretched. This will be the second time this will be done. The first time she was 3 years old. The second part of the surgery will be to break her hip and relocate it. On younger children this has helped with balance and walking. At Mandy's age her knee now depends on the tightness of both the hip and the hamstrings to support her. She is running the risk of possible walking with a knee brace the rest of her life or worse a wheelchair. Even when they're adults you can't stop worrying sad.gif . We could sure use your thoughts and prayers on Wednesday.

Thanks
gettin-away

Congratulations!!! You should BOTH be proud of this achievement! While the physical obstacles she still faces will be significant, they are NOTHING compared to what you and she have already overcome. You will both be in my prayers.
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susieq76 
Posted: 29-Nov-2004, 10:35 AM
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We are definitely praying for you, gettin-away! Let us know how everything goes. I know you are SO proud of your daughter - what an incredible woman she is! I can only hope that I will be able to pass the obstacles in my life with as much grace and strength and courage as she has.
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gettin-away 
Posted: 29-Nov-2004, 08:08 PM
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Thanks everyone for your thoughts and prayers.

I work the main counter at our local post office and today we really got hit with the start of the Christmas rush. I am normally right on top of things, but boy I could not even begin to concentrate today. I'm a walking bundle of nerves right now. We have gone through so much over the years and yet it doesn't get any easier.

I just talked to my parents. They live about 150 miles away, but they are arriving in town tomorrow afternoon to pick my daughter up and treat her to a good dinner. They are also staying in town for the surgery. Since I have to have everyone at the hospital Wednesday morning at 5:30am, Mandy and I are going to stay the night in the motel with them.

Thought I would share a couple of pictures of when she was born. Gives a little perspective.

She was only a few days old here. Weight 1 pound 11 ounces. The wires are hooked to monitors. The black tube is hooked to a ventilator. She is on a tiny water bed inside an incubator and the bubble wrap is for additional warmth.

This was in June 1981


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gettin-away 
Posted: 29-Nov-2004, 08:14 PM
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And this is about two months later. She is off the vent now but she still needs higher oxygen levels. The round plastic thing is like an oxygen tent. She can't feed on her own yet so the tube taped to her mouth runs into her stomach. She is fed through that.

Thanks again for your prayers.



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gettin-away 
Posted: 03-Dec-2004, 05:37 PM
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A quick update before I stumble off to bed. My daughter, Mandy came through her surgery well. She had her left hip cut in two, twisted slightly and rejoined using a plate. She also had her abductor in her left thigh cut part way through to loosen the tightness and stretch it out some. The same was done with her left hamstring. Since she is 23 years old she originally planned on me only missing one day of work to be with her. After coming from recovery she asked me to stay the night. I spent the last two nights sleeping in a chair in her hospital room and not leaving her side the whole time she was there. Tonight she is at her Grandmas house. I live in a second floor apartment while Grandma has a Ranch style home. Since Grandma wanted to take over, I'm home right now to get a good night sleep before returning in the morning to change her dressing. Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers.

........night
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Annham 
Posted: 03-Dec-2004, 09:59 PM
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I'm getting in on this a little late, but I am glad to hear that the surgery went well. I'll be thinking of you, Mandy and your family and hoping she has a quick recovery.
Anne


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susieq76 
Posted: 26-Jan-2006, 12:57 PM
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And I am terribly late with this post. But please let me add my prayers for you and your daughter again. How is she doing now? How are you holding up?
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gettin-away 
Posted: 29-Jan-2006, 01:56 PM
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I guess after over a year it's time to post an update.

After Mandy's surgery she continued school. In May 2005 she graduated Magna Cum Laude with a special education degree. In July 2005 she accepted a teaching job in Bethel Alaska. 3310 miles away from our home. She flew there in August to set up a home and get adjusted to her new life. Bethel is on the west coast of Alaska and there are no roads to it. You fly in. There are roads and vehicles in town once you get there. She came home over Christmas for two weeks. She has lost 5 pounds while there and is now down to 88 pounds. That worries me alot. She has fallen many times. Most of her clothes are mudstained. Last Thursday night she called to tell me when her contract ends in May she won't be renewing it. The leaving conditions, the culture shock and the severe cold (-60* windchills) have all taken there toll on her. But what an adventure she has had.

gettin-away
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