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greenldydragon 
Posted: 15-Jun-2004, 09:02 PM
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ZodiacHazel


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The sky was grey, the clouds all but forgotten in the all to real mist. The mist covered their eyes, like a veil trying desperately to hold something back. That was what was chilling her to the bone, not the cold, not the rain, but the fear. The fear that whatever was being held back, might at any moment be released and set upon them. But even more than the fear that gnawed at her with every step, she dreaded what lay ahead. If she could, she would have released the beast herself, just as long as she would not have to continue.
If only her wish could be granted, and all her worries ended. No more need to worry about the water soaking into her boots. No more need to worry about the rags that clung to her body, in the illusion they were clothes. And best of all, no more memories. Next to the fear, the memories were the hardest to deal with. The memories of her husband, her children, and her life. The memories of how they had smiled, how they laughed, and most of all, how they had loved her. Those were the hardest memories to deal with while walking in a mist that made you feel like you were safe, yet made you know in your heart of hearts you really weren?t. Because only in those memories could she feel safe and warm, and in them let her guard down, just as she could around the people in them. Yet, knowing that she would never see them again, hear their laughs, or see their smiles at accomplishing something new, tore her heart out. Knowing that she would never again feel their embraces made her realize what real emotional pain was, it wasn?t something that you could explain in a book, or understand from a story, it was something that made her feel that although she was still alive, she felt like she wasn?t.
The pain made her eyes fill with water, and unbidden, they came flowing down her face. Her breathing, which was normally a constant rhythm, came in uneasy gasps, as she tried to push away the unwanted images. Her hands sought her face, but she could not feel them brush away the droplets of water on her cheeks, she couldn?t feel anything. A stark blackness filled her gaze, as she watched in her minds eye her beloved husband, the only person who she loved more than life, the only person who had fully understood her, die for her. Her arms ached to hold him tight, and when it was time for her to set his spirit free, all she wanted was to hold on tight. It had seemed a dream, one that she was sure she would eventually wake up from, one she prayed would leave her be.


Any suggestions?


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DRAGON BLESSING

May dragons bring you wealth
and guard your treasures
May they banish darkness and enlighten you
May female dragons grant you inner power
May the Dragon Queen
neutralize your enemies
May Dragon Spirits
give you power over Elementals
May weather dragons
bring rain at your request
May Ti'amat effect the changes you command
May Ishtar grant you Dragon Power
May Ishtar grant you Dragon Power
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Angel Whitefang (Rider) 
Posted: 30-Aug-2004, 01:07 PM
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ZodiacRowan

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pretty simple
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Haldur 
Posted: 04-Dec-2004, 05:58 PM
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ZodiacWillow

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I love it! I can feel every part of the story, smell, sense the feeling of tears falling on your skin...that's the magic of a story and I believe you've harnessed it. There's such emotion to draw out of the story, which is the best part of speaking from the third person as if though you were pouring out their thoughts, fears, dreams, lusts, etc. I love the way you portray that here and I appreciate hearing your descriptive, vivid voice shining through. Thank you!


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"After all is said and done, a lot more will be said than done."

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greenldydragon 
Posted: 04-Dec-2004, 06:33 PM
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biggrin.gif I'm honored that you liked it! Believe me, I spent a long time deciding how to frame each sentence and I'm glad that you think I got the feeling through! I haven't worked on this story for a while though, because I don't know how to continue, eventhough I know where the story wants to go. Your kind words mean a lot, thank you for taking the time to read it Haldur!
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greenldydragon 
Posted: 04-Dec-2004, 07:37 PM
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Here is what I have added since the original post (not a lot in the least), but if anyone has any suggestions about keeping it going please give them!

A sharp pain tingled up her arm as the person chained in front of her stumbled and fell. It was a welcomed distraction, though when she remembered who was in front of her, it no longer was welcomed or a distraction. Leal had been with them when it all started, the cries, the fighting, and the losing.
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Haldur 
Posted: 21-Dec-2004, 06:01 PM
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A wonderful addition! Keep up the great work and sentence structure...feel free to share as much as you can (we writers must do so or we'll go crazy!)
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Haldur 
Posted: 28-Dec-2004, 08:58 PM
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Been working on a particular story in my head for about a week and a half now...don't know what to do with it, how to start it, or what to say. Just need to get it out I suppose.

It's pretty much a medieval fantasy sort of story along the lines of Willow or some of Tolkien's work, though not so indepth as Tolkien. There's lots of fighting, magic, prophecy, humor, and lots of other good stuff...I just can't find the time or the inspiration to get it off the ground.

Any advice?
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urian 
Posted: 28-Dec-2004, 09:08 PM
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QUOTE (Haldur @ 28-Dec-2004, 07:58 PM)
Been working on a particular story in my head for about a week and a half now...don't know what to do with it, how to start it, or what to say. Just need to get it out I suppose.

It's pretty much a medieval fantasy sort of story along the lines of Willow or some of Tolkien's work, though not so indepth as Tolkien. There's lots of fighting, magic, prophecy, humor, and lots of other good stuff...I just can't find the time or the inspiration to get it off the ground.

Any advice?

My first piece fo advice is to get offline. I thought it was crazy when I was first given that little nugget but it's true. being online can eat up so much time and you wont even realize it.

When I have a case of procrastination, I try to set small goals for myself in regards to a story. I'll try to write the first line(or any line) then try a paragraph. I'll do this in a notebook usually and in a quite spot or a place that I feel I can be myself and relax enough to write. I'll start with one line and usually write a few pages before I realize it.

I guess yoda said it best though. he said:" DO or Do not. there is no try.:


ommmmmmmmmm cool.gif

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'Dying for being different is still better than living as a Sheep'-anon
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Aaediwen 
Posted: 28-Dec-2004, 10:05 PM
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QUOTE (Haldur @ 28-Dec-2004, 08:58 PM)

It's pretty much a medieval fantasy sort of story along the lines of Willow or some of Tolkien's work, though not so indepth as Tolkien. There's lots of fighting, magic, prophecy, humor, and lots of other good stuff...I just can't find the time or the inspiration to get it off the ground.

Sounds like you're already started. How does it start out? where is your main character when he or she gets involved in the story?


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Haldur 
Posted: 29-Dec-2004, 01:34 PM
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Well, in short (as I have it written now) the beginning is sort of a flashback, then it evolves into the first scene in the story's "present tense". The main character, Haldur, is standing up in a prison/dungeon cell, bound by chains, listening to the shreaking/singing of one of the guards of the dungeon, Gruff.

I know what you're thinking, Haldur...that's you! But not really...see, I started writing this story about a year ago (that never materialized more than a small paragraph in a Word document) and the name Haldur was actually the name for a civilization I was creating in my story, the Haldurians. The name sort of stuck, I started using it here on HR, and decided to sort of carry on the name as the protagonist in my story. Basically, he's been imprisoned, his memory erased, and he starts finding out he has special abilities. Come to find out, most of this "prison" is actually the result of the evil powers of an entity known only as The Sorcerer. That's the basics of what I have so far, though I've left some details out so I don't ruin it!

I'm gonna get cracking on it tonight!
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Aaediwen 
Posted: 29-Dec-2004, 10:14 PM
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/me provides Haldur with a gallon of oil for the lamp, and half a gallon of ink for his pen. SCHRIEBEN, MEIN FRUEIND. SCHRIEBEN
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Haldur 
Posted: 01-Jan-2005, 05:40 PM
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so how's everyone's writings coming about?

(scratch me head wondering where greenldydragon's been? anxious to hear some more posts smile.gif
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urian 
Posted: 01-Jan-2005, 06:23 PM
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I hope to have more for the public by the end of the week. I dunno ,though. I guess we'll see
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greenldydragon 
Posted: 02-Jan-2005, 01:32 PM
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I have been procrastinating like normal... haven't written any more since my last post...really should keep working on it..maybe I'll start that now...once I find it.
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Haldur 
Posted: 03-Jan-2005, 07:37 PM
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That has been my problem of late as well although now I believe I'm hitting a big spurt in my writing...currently working on a medieval/fantasy story and it is fun! Hope to hear some more work from you, greenldydragon!
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