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> A Southerner And A Northerner Have Breakfast, And a conversation, sort of.
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SCShamrock 
Posted: 13-Jun-2004, 01:14 PM
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The South Strikes back


A Southerner is having his breakfast of coffee, grits, biscuits and
jam, when a Northerner, chewing obnoxiously on gum, sits down next
to him.

The Southerner ignores the Northerner who, nevertheless, starts a
conversation.
Northerner: "When you Southern people eat bread, do you eat the whole
slice?"

Southerner: "Yep."

Northerner: (After blowing a huge bubble) "We don't. Up North, we
only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle it,
then transform them into biscuits and send them to the South." The
Northerner has a smirk on his face. The Southerner listens in silence.

The Northerner persists: "Do you eat jam with biscuits?"
Southerner: "Yep."

Northerner: (Cracking and smacking his gum and chuckling) "We don't.
Up North, after we eat fruit for breakfast, we put all the peels,
seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into
jam, and, then, send it down South."

Then the Southerner asks, "Y'all have sex up North?"

Northerner: "Why, of course, we do." And, he pops another big bubble.

Southerner: "And what do y'all do with the condoms once ya use'em?

Northerner: "We throw them away, of course."

Southerner: "We don't. Down South, we put 'em in a jar, melt 'em
down into bubble gum, and sell 'em to Yankees."




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TheCarolinaScotsman 
Posted: 13-Jun-2004, 01:56 PM
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QUOTE (SCShamrock @ 13-Jun-2004, 01:14 PM)



A Southerner is having his breakfast of coffee, grits, biscuits and
jam, when a Northerner... sits down next
to him.


Offered some grits to a yankee once, said he'd try just one.


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oldraven 
Posted: 13-Jun-2004, 02:21 PM
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QUOTE (TheCarolinaScotsman @ 13-Jun-2004, 11:56 AM)
QUOTE (SCShamrock @ 13-Jun-2004, 01:14 PM)



A Southerner is having his breakfast of coffee, grits, biscuits and
jam, when a Northerner... sits down next
to him.


Offered some grits to a yankee once, said he'd try just one.

lol.gif That's classic.




even though I'm a northerner. unsure.gif I assume you're talking about those guys in the middle. wink.gif


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maisky 
Posted: 13-Jun-2004, 07:30 PM
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Don't forget that these are the folks who think the US Civil War isn't over yet.... tongue.gif


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SCShamrock 
Posted: 14-Jun-2004, 06:29 AM
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QUOTE (maisky @ 13-Jun-2004, 07:30 PM)
Don't forget that these are the folks who think the US Civil War isn't over yet.... tongue.gif

rolleyes.gif king.gif
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silverdragon 
Posted: 15-Jun-2004, 07:57 PM
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It's OVER??? Why doesn't someone TELL ME these things? Here my (Virginia and Oklahoma) relatives have been looking down their noses at me for 30 years for consorting with the enemy... (Hubby's from Boston) gunsmilie.gif


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Or behold the flowing years from the Sea returning?

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Raven 
Posted: 15-Jun-2004, 10:07 PM
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QUOTE (maisky @ 13-Jun-2004, 07:30 PM)
Don't forget that these are the folks who think the US Civil War isn't over yet.... tongue.gif

Don't you mean the war of Northern agression Maisky tongue.gif


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TheCarolinaScotsman 
Posted: 16-Jun-2004, 12:04 AM
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In polite company, we call it "The Late Unpleasantness"; otherwise it's "The War Between the States".
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oldraven 
Posted: 16-Jun-2004, 09:33 AM
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Thank goodness we haven't had any of those issues since we kicked the french out of NS, which admittedly was a s****y thing to do looking back.
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Danann 
Posted: 16-Jun-2004, 09:41 AM
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*in best simpering southern belle voice* Whell Ah do declare! The war is not near ovah, take my word fah it! Down heah in the Southern Star State of Alabama its fought just about every day.

Seriously though, its a different world down here in the southlands, and since I've lived in both locations I can say that with ease and confidence. I learned about the War of Northern Aggression and the Civil War. For some reason I think that it depends on where you lived as to what the war was about. Ask any southerner what the war was about and they'll tell you "States Rights to govern as they saw fit." Ask someone in the north, and it was all about slavery. Its odd, really...


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gtrplr 
Posted: 16-Jun-2004, 09:52 AM
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QUOTE
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. --That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.


Guess Lincoln forgot about that last part. And I can't find anything in the Constitution that says "once you're in, you can't get out". Seems to me the Confederacy had a perfect right to secede, despite Lincoln's aim to "preserve the Union".


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Raven 
Posted: 16-Jun-2004, 11:09 AM
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Which is what the war was about really but in the re-write of history it was about slavery and not the preservation of the union.
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tsargent62 
Posted: 16-Jun-2004, 03:18 PM
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What I find amazing is that Southerners just can't let go of something that happened 150 years ago. What can't y'all get over it?



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gtrplr 
Posted: 16-Jun-2004, 03:54 PM
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QUOTE
What I find amazing is that Southerners just can't let go of something that happened 150 years ago. What can't y'all get over it?


Those who don't learn the lessons of history are doomed to repeat it.
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tsargent62 
Posted: 16-Jun-2004, 05:52 PM
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Sure learn from it, but don't let it go on dwelling on it. I don't understand why so much energy is still put into it.
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