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> Does Anyone Live In A Small Town?, small town life
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j Padraig moore 
Posted: 14-May-2004, 02:08 PM
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Do you live in a small town like me (<2000)?
First of all, I grew up in a town smaller than where I live now. I remember it fondly. It wasn't perfect by any means, but it was a good place to grow up.
I lived in a large city for over 20 years and 7 years ago we moved out into the country (I commute 40 miles one way to work). We never expected Mayberry when we moved, but we are seeing a lot of crap that I don't remember seeing when I was young in my hometown.
First of all, everyone here falls into two categories: natives and move-ins. Natives grew up here or have family here a couple of generations. We move-ins have been coming en masse into the community for quite some time now. The natives tend to exhibit two negative traits.
1. Favoritism: certain people get certain perks, allowances, whatever, only because of who they or their family are. It is evident from Little League on up to everyday business dealings. People don't get what they earn. They get it because of their associations. Again, think of the Little League example-certain kids play because of who Dad is, not their ability. That is just an example.
2. Privilege: the simple attitude that what applies to everybody else, doesn't apply to me! I can do what I want, to whomever I want, simply because I am a "Smith" or a "Jones". I even see this in our church (which is a great place to be, don't get me wrong).
Please understand this: this is not everyone I know in my community. Some of the most wonderful people I have ever known in my life live in my community, and are natives to boot! Garrison Keillor once wrote about the Minnesota communities that formed the basis for his Lake Wobegon and described the residents as good, kind people. But people that really didn't want you involved in their lives. Also, this isn't just my own personal viewpoint. Many move-inshave expressed their frustration to me about this. Enough that there is definitely a trend.

OK, enough whining. If you too live in a small town like mine, have you experienced the same thing? I'm curious.
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oldraven 
Posted: 14-May-2004, 02:36 PM
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I'm not living in a small town. But I'm constantly trying to get back. I live in a large city in Alberta, and the lifestyle is driving me over the edge. A place I never would have been driven to back home.

Acutally, I grew up in a Rural community, so small town is an overstatement. Or is that understatement. unsure.gif Well, it's a Farming community about 30-45min away from the nearest town, depending on who's driving. It's sometimes only 15min away, if you're in a real hurry. cool.gif

Anyway, there are a few families that seem to be the top dogs, or would like to think they are. But these days, it's more in their own heads than anything else. Being a homegrown to that area, I can't really say I've ever gotten any special privaledges, but that's mostly because my family didn't really fit in. Being Pentecostal in a land of dirty mouthed drunks will leave you on the outside. Mind you, this is the way my parents saw it. Setting yourself apart is what alienates you. Whatever, that's another gripe for another day.

Any such agravation that comes from living in the small towns, or communities, is well worth the fact that the people are for the most part friendlier, and will help you out in your time of need. I hate the city because the city is full of hateful people. But they can't help it. They were raised in the rat race, where everyone is in a hurry, and everyone feels downtrodden by everyone else. No wonder they pretend you don't exist when you walk by them, smile and nod. I mean, we're only smiling at them because we want something from them, right? rolleyes.gif

No, I'm not mocking you, I totaly understand. But if this is the worst thing about living in a simpler, quieter world, you're one lucky bugger, my friend. The easiest way to break down those age old boundaries is to be the bigger person and go out of your way to help your neighbour. Even those that don't help you.


That was a really long post. And I seemed to be bouncing around making little sense at all. ............................. wicked laugh.gif
Anyway, do unto others, buddy. smile.gif


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mercyforme 
Posted: 14-May-2004, 02:56 PM
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They cant help being hateful...why sure they can, I can be having the worst day but I cant take it out on others and I was in a large city-Atlanta- dont excuse meanness...
Would you be able to go somewhere else one day and get away from the noise, and crowd and fast pace???? I hope you could smile.gif


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gtrplr 
Posted: 14-May-2004, 03:08 PM
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QUOTE
No, I'm not mocking you, I totaly understand. But if this is the worst thing about living in a simpler, quieter world, you're one lucky bugger, my friend. The easiest way to break down those age old boundaries is to be the bigger person and go out of your way to help your neighbour. Even those that don't help you.


Good advice regardless of locale. I live in Nashville, TN but I grew up in rural Arkansas. The nearest town was 5 miles away, pop. 198. I grew up country folks.

I remember a guy riding through on a bicycle one day. He was touring the country and about dark, he knocked on our door and asked permission to sleep in the field beside our house. The next morning, my mom fixed an extra plate for breakfast which I took out to him. He thanked me politely and in the course of conversation mentioned that people offering breakfast was not uncommon. I wasn't surprised. I thought that's what we were supposed to do.

Times sure have changed.


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oldraven 
Posted: 14-May-2004, 03:21 PM
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grtplr, that's something about the west that confuses me. Where I come from, if anyone comes to your door, you invite them in, and give them food and drink. Always. Even if it's a salesman. Coffee, tea, cookies at the least. But here, I've spent entire days visiting people, and if they didn't invite you for dinner, you don't get any. I know that company never goes hungry in our house.

In some places, time stands still. There's no reason for change like that.
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mercyforme 
Posted: 14-May-2004, 03:29 PM
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Here you go Old raven
You knock on my door, your seeling..humm....ahh your selling Dasani water, which I love:) Mike and I invite you in. Course you will have to sit in a computer chair. I just made sweet tea and lucky for you Shrimp, with chinese rice and veggies in that great sauce mix like in the resturants. Also have choclate cake and since you have many more doors to go to I wrap up a big peice for you. We laughed, and cried, just kiddin we laughed a lot cause your proubly very funny and Mike and I are cut up's!!!
Please come again your always welcome to our door biggrin.gif
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oldraven 
Posted: 14-May-2004, 03:36 PM
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And everybody agreed, the times were good. biggrin.gif

thanks. king.gif
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Raven 
Posted: 14-May-2004, 03:49 PM
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I have lived in a small town pop 50 and part of a larger community of several thousand and now I live in a city of 1.3 Million.

I was a move in with the small community also. I think the major difference between the 2 aside from everyone knowing everyone else is that the politics is more apparent.

I find this in the musical community that a lot of what is awarded is based on who you are or who you know not how good you are. If you are on the inside life is grand and if you are on the outside the politics is very apparent.

What I am saying is that if you are in a large community it is still there noticing it is just dependant on how small of a sub section you are associated with.

I know it is difficult to deal with JP and the only way it would be easier is if you were not aware.

Peace

Mikel


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Herrerano 
Posted: 14-May-2004, 03:59 PM
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Hey, I was gonna post something here, but then I realized that what I have to say on this topic is completely irrelevant. tongue.gif The small town I live in, about 1,500 or less, in a country of less then 3 million total population, is of a completely different culture then the one in which I was raised, and being the one and only gringo in the town I live in sort of skews things a little. Therefore if you have read this far in this post, sorry. Just forget it.

Never mind.

Leo tongue.gif


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oldraven 
Posted: 14-May-2004, 04:11 PM
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Well, it's a good thing you didn't post then. wink.gif
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MDF3530 
  Posted: 14-May-2004, 04:14 PM
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I live in a big city (Chicago), but our neighborhood planning organization uses the phrase "small town in the city" to describe the neighborhood. It is very much like a small town. Churches have dinners every so often. Everybody seems willing to help everyone else out, especially with fundraisers for sick kids or the families of police officers, firefighters or soldiers who've died or been permanently injured in the line of duty.

BTW, the problem with favoritism being shown is all over, not just in small towns. And sucking up doesn't work all the time. There was this woman who was the director for my grade school's drama club. I was a year ahead of her daughter. When I was a crossing guard in sixth grade, her daughter was my substitute. Didn't get me any better roles in the plays. The best role I had was in 8th grade, when I was a Mouseketeer in "A Salute to Walt Disney", and that was only because I was an 8th grader.


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gtrplr 
Posted: 14-May-2004, 04:25 PM
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Oldraven, I think we did invite the gentleman in, but he refused, saying he'd rather sleep out in the open. My parents weren't the type to let anyone go hungry or thirsty or without shelter, if it was at all possible to help them.

Neither am I.

BTW, Arkansas isn't considered west. I'm a Southern Gentleman. Just ask my wife. wink.gif
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oldraven 
Posted: 14-May-2004, 04:55 PM
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Oh, I'm reffering to the difference between Eastern and Western Canada. Or maybe I should say, The Maritimes and everybody else. tongue.gif I have no clue if there is any distinction between Eastern and Western hospitality in the States. From what I've heard, the nicest people in the states are in the central region. Except maybe Detroit. unsure.gif But that falls under the Big City thing again.
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Richard Bercot 
Posted: 14-May-2004, 09:01 PM
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I live in the Big City, The Population in my town is right at 100 plus or minus 2 depending on the day. wink.gif For me it is getting kind of crowded. tongue.gif

I have live here for 30 years and my Wife has lived here about all of her life with the exception of 2 months which was right after we were married.

I would not go back to any Big City if at all possible. Even though I do like people, I do not like being crowded. So for the time being, I will stay where I am at. biggrin.gif


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urian 
Posted: 14-May-2004, 09:07 PM
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I live in a smaller town in the middle of deep , conservative, east texas. Oy.


I go into the rascism and closemindedness the permiates this place...


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