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Elspeth 
Posted: 16-Mar-2004, 07:42 AM
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Thank you dearest girl. This site has been a Godsend to me. smile.gif


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Compassion is the sometimes fatal capacity for feeling what it is like inside somebody else's skin. It is the knowledge that there can never really be any peace and joy for me until there is peace and joy finally for you too.
- Frederick Buechner



If society prospers at the expense of the intangibles,
how can it be called progress?

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Arianrhod 
Posted: 16-Mar-2004, 07:51 AM
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I am glad Andylucy made that suggestion..
There are groups... if and when you need one..
and comfort in the support they can give you ...

I love seeing all the HOPE in this thread..
People being greatful, for the things that really matter in life!
Home , Family, Friends !

You made people look deep and see what they truely have to be greatful for !
That is a gift...
Thank you Elspeth , for sharing with us
and letting us do the same !

In Service to the Dream,
Paula


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Proud member of Clan Mac Roni , CEO of The KDC

The curve is mightier than the sword ...

"He's twitching, because ,
mah axe is embedded in
his nervious system " !
LOTR
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tsargent62 
Posted: 16-Mar-2004, 01:23 PM
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Elspeth,

I am the son of an alcohic mother. Thankfully, she got help, but it did affect my brother and I. I can only imagine what you are going through. I know with intimate detail what alcoholism is and what it can do to a family. Unfortunately, it was one of the contributing factors to my parents' divorce.

I give you a tremendous amount of credit for trying to understand your husband's disease and for respecting him enough not to expose this in a truly public forum. I am thankful that you have faith in our Lord. I am also thankful and humbled that you have entrusted us to support you.

If I was there I'd give you big hug and a kiss on the cheek. If you want to talk on a deeper level, perhaps from the perspective of a child of an alcoholic, feel free to PM me.

Todd
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DesertRose 
Posted: 16-Mar-2004, 02:47 PM
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Elspeth! That took a lot of courage to share your secret. I have a sister-in-law who deals with an alcoholic husband daily. She has left him many times with her two daughters who have been affected by this too. He goes to rehab and comes out doing fine, making all kinds of promises. She goes back to him each time. The is a repeated thing that goes on in there family all the time. I have seen her pain and embarrassment, but she loves him and always goes back. There are alanon groups I think they are called for people in your position too.

Appears you have friends here to help you with prayers and a listening ear.

many hugs to you and God give you strength.

Thank you for sharing.


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silverdragon 
Posted: 16-Mar-2004, 04:22 PM
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Elspeth, God bless! I am a recovering alcoholic, 25 years sober. My husband is also an alcoholic. Believe me, I KNOW it is not "just his problem" -- ALL in the family are affected. I most STRONGLY suggest the Al-Anon Family Groups. May you find the comfort, support and plan of action for yourself there that I have found in my own recovery support group.


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Where now the horse and the rider? Where is the horn that was blowing?
Where is the helm and the hauberk, and the bright hair flowing?
Where is the hand on the harpstring, and the red fire glowing?
Where is the spring and the harvest and the tall corn growing?
They have passed like rain on the mountain, like a wind in the meadow
The days have gone down in the West behind the hills into shadow
Who shall gather the smoke of the dead wood burning
Or behold the flowing years from the Sea returning?

    ~ J.R.R. Tolkien

My blog: Almost, but not quite, entirely unrelated to filmmaking
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High Plains Drifter 
Posted: 16-Mar-2004, 08:09 PM
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I have a joy to share, I am now a great-granddad.

Elspeth, I don't have any simple answers for you but I want you to know that there some of us out here who truly care and I know you will be in my prayers.


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Be Mindful
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RobertH 
Posted: 16-Mar-2004, 11:37 PM
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Drifter...congratulations!

Elspeth - my heart and prayers are with you. I have two relatives (that I know of) that have similarly fought that battle. One is recovering, the other drifted away and doesn't contact anyone. I've seen the ramifications of the disease while in the service, and can only tell you what you already know - seek out the help with which you are most comfortable and confident, and continue with prayer.

Andylucy - if your little one can say "Go Army, Beat Navy", he's well on his way to success...Go Army!
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Elspeth 
Posted: 17-Mar-2004, 06:34 AM
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Thank you everyone. I think the hardest thing is not knowing what to do about it. One of those 'life should come with an operating manual' situations.

And Congratulations High Plains! A great-grandbaby! Boy? Girl? Close enough for you to spoil on a regular basis?
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High Plains Drifter 
Posted: 17-Mar-2004, 02:05 PM
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It's a boy and about 900 miles away so it's a big deal to go see him.
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tsargent62 
Posted: 17-Mar-2004, 02:18 PM
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Hey, HPD, where in Colorado you from? I lived in Colorado Springs for a couple years and loved it. Should've never left. sad.gif


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Cheers!
Todd



Normal is a relative term. For some reason it is not a term my relatives use to describe me.


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kelaorqu 
Posted: 17-Mar-2004, 11:59 PM
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Elspeth - I don't have any answers but I will pray for you. I can't imagine what it must be like.
To the rest of you - you are wonderful people!

I am having spiritual problems in my life right now... nothing major, but I guess just more of a lack of motivation. I am frustrated because I don't give God enough time and am a horrible witness. I am shy about Christianity when talking about non-Christians and it bugs me to no end! I want to change, but nothing seems to work. I just end up getting more frustrated with my life. i also get frustrated because all the Christians around me are full of doctrine and words but fail miserably when putting it into practise. I don't want to become like that!

I am planning on going to Australia for a year in January. There is a school there called Capernwray and it focuses on spiritual growth and leadership. As I want to get more involved in missions and social work after school i really hope this will give me the spiritual slap in the face smile.gif

But as a joy, my nephew just turned a month recently and he is absolutely beautiful!


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Christ with me,
Christ before me,
Christ hehind me,
Christ in me,
Christ beneath me,
Christ above me,
Christ on my right,
Christ on my left,
Christ when I lie down,
Christ when I sit down,
Christ when I arise,
Christ in quiet,
Christ in danger,
Christ in the heart of every man who think of me,
Christ in the mouth os everyone who speaks of me,
Christ in every eye that sees me,
Christ in every ear that hears me.
~ St. Patrick
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High Plains Drifter 
Posted: 18-Mar-2004, 01:03 AM
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Hey tsargent, I live about as far north of Denver as the Springs is south, in the Ft. Collins, Greeley area.

kelaorqu, I have no answer for you but will remember you when I pray. That is the best I can offer at this time.
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Elspeth 
Posted: 18-Mar-2004, 10:26 AM
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Welcome kelaorqu!

I know what you mean about feeling like I'm failing in the witness department.

I have finally evolved to the place where I believe if God wants me to speak out, he will begin the nugding process. And if I keep feeling nudged, the He will present the opportunity to act on the nudge. Then it is up to me to follow through.

Unfortunately most of us Christians are like tea bags as they say, only of any good when in hot water. rolleyes.gif It is the easiest to be close to God when we need Him. When things are going well, then it is all too easy to forget who gave us all the good stuff. You are hardly alone in those feelings.

Australia! You'll have to let us know how it goes.

Elspeth
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tsargent62 
Posted: 18-Mar-2004, 03:01 PM
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I have a concern. I do computer work (UNIX administration) for a large automobile manufacturer whom shall remain nameless. I'm in a contract position. Well, it looks like the company will soon sign an agreement with EDS to do the IT work here. It has not been announced who will be staying and who will be going. Quite obviously, I'm a bit scared. The IT market ain't what it used to be. I don't want to wait for the ship to sink, so I trying to bail now. I have a possible lead on another job (with yet a different car company), but it is nothing solid. Haven't had an interview yet, but they are submitting my resume.

I would be open to moving, but I have a 17 yo son in 11th grade. Has a serious girlfriend and plays varsity hockey. I can't uproot him from that. It would be way too unfair and possibly damaging. So, I'm stuck looking locally. At least for the next year. Then I'd like to go south.

I could use some prayers. And if anyone knows anyone hiring UNIX/Linux admins in the Detroit area....

In Christian Love,
Todd
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kelaorqu 
Posted: 18-Mar-2004, 04:20 PM
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Unfortunately most of us Christians are like tea bags as they say, only of any good when in hot water.  It is the easiest to be close to God when we need Him. When things are going well, then it is all too easy to forget who gave us all the good stuff. You are hardly alone in those feelings.

This is so true Elspeth! Thanks for sharing that and thanks everyone for your prayers. It's good to know that there are brothers and sisters that feel the same as you do!
tsargent62, i know nothing about computers or places where you can work, but I will pray for you and that you will find a job. I'm sure God will provide, even if it doesn't look like it.

And I'll let you all know what happens with Australia.. Right now I too need a job though! smile.gif
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