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| GARDEN SNAKES CAN BE DANGEROUS
, And you thought they were cute!
Posted: 03-Jan-2010, 04:06 PM
Fear-leanmhainn an Rìgh
Realm: Cape Coral, Florida, USA, Planet Earth
*GARDEN SNAKES CAN BE DANGEROUS...
Garden Snakes, also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophis sirtalis), can be
dangerous. Yes, grass snakes not rattlesnakes. Here's why:
A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of potted plants.
During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them
indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.
It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in
one of the plants. When it had warmed up, it slithered out and the
wife saw it go under the sofa.
She let out a very loud scream.
The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room
naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake
under the sofa.
He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it.
About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the
behind. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell
over on the floor.
His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she covered him up,
told him to lie still and called an ambulance.
The attendants rushed in, would not listen to his protests, loaded
him on the stretcher, and started carrying him out.
About that time, the snake came out from under the sofa and
the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the
stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in
The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she
called on a neighbor who volunteered to capture the snake. He armed
himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.
Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the
sofa in relief.
But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where
she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the
snake rushed back under the sofa.
The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use
CPR to revive her.
The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the
grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and
slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned
goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it
The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her
neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she
assumed that the snake had bitten him. She went to the kitchen and
got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's
By now, the police had arrived.
They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that
a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all,
when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little
The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his
Now, the little snake again crawled out from under the sofa and one
of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake
and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over, the lamp on
it shattered and, as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.
The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through
the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled,
jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved
to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car.
Meanwhile, neighbors saw the burning drapes and called in the fire
department. The firemen had started raising the fire ladder when
they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the
overhead wires, put out the power, and disconnected the telephones
in a ten-square city block area (but they did get the house fire out).
Time passed! Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house
was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car and
all was right with their world.
A few weeks later the couple was watching TV and the weatherman announced a
cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought
they should bring in their plants for the night.....
.....And that's when he shot her.*
I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. Job 19:25
"Non sibi sed patriae!"
Reviresco (I grow strong again)
Clan MacEwen motto
My Ewing Family Motto
(descendants of Baron William Ewing of Glasgow, born about 1630)
"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." Abraham Lincoln
"Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum." from "Epitoma Rei Militaris," by Vegetius
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