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> GARDEN SNAKES CAN BE DANGEROUS, And you thought they were cute!
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MacEoghainn 
Posted: 03-Jan-2010, 05:06 PM
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*GARDEN SNAKES CAN BE DANGEROUS...

Garden Snakes, also known as Garter Snakes (Thamnophis sirtalis), can be
dangerous. Yes, grass snakes not rattlesnakes. Here's why:

A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of potted plants.
During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them
indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.

It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was hidden in
one of the plants. When it had warmed up, it slithered out and the
wife saw it go under the sofa.

She let out a very loud scream.

The husband (who was taking a shower) ran out into the living room
naked to see what the problem was. She told him there was a snake
under the sofa.

He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for it.
About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on the
behind. He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and fell
over on the floor.

His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she covered him up,
told him to lie still and called an ambulance.

The attendants rushed in, would not listen to his protests, loaded
him on the stretcher, and started carrying him out.

About that time, the snake came out from under the sofa and
the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his end of the
stretcher. That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in
the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house, so she
called on a neighbor who volunteered to capture the snake. He armed
himself with a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.
Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat down on the
sofa in relief.

But while relaxing, her hand dangled in between the cushions, where
she felt the snake wriggling around. She screamed and fainted, the
snake rushed back under the sofa.

The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried to use
CPR to revive her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the
grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and
slammed her husband in the back of the head with a bag of canned
goods, knocking him out and cutting his scalp to a point where it
needed stitches.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw her
neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him, so she
assumed that the snake had bitten him. She went to the kitchen and
got a small bottle of whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's
throat.

By now, the police had arrived.

Breathe here...

They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that
a drunken fight had occurred. They were about to arrest them all,
when the women tried to explain how it all happened over a little
garden snake!

The police called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his
sobbing wife.

Now, the little snake again crawled out from under the sofa and one
of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it. He missed the snake
and hit the leg of the end table. The table fell over, the lamp on
it shattered and, as the bulb broke, it started a fire in the drapes.

The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell through
the window into the yard on top of the family dog who, startled,
jumped out and raced into the street, where an oncoming car swerved
to avoid it and smashed into the parked police car.

Meanwhile, neighbors saw the burning drapes and called in the fire
department. The firemen had started raising the fire ladder when
they were halfway down the street. The rising ladder tore out the
overhead wires, put out the power, and disconnected the telephones
in a ten-square city block area (but they did get the house fire out).

Time passed! Both men were discharged from the hospital, the house
was repaired, the dog came home, the police acquired a new car and
all was right with their world.

A few weeks later the couple was watching TV and the weatherman announced a
cold snap for that night. The wife asked her husband if he thought
they should bring in their plants for the night.....

.....And that's when he shot her.*


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Patch 
Posted: 03-Jan-2010, 05:26 PM
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That is quite the tale of woe. I guess I should watch my snakes closer! I would feel terrible if I were the cause of such a calamity.

Slàinte,    

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flora 
Posted: 03-Jan-2010, 06:17 PM
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Oh thanks, MacE. You would put this up when we are scrambling to protect plants from the freeze. tongue.gif

Flora

And what about all the snakes we are finding turned loose in Florida? They are not the small variety.


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Patch 
Posted: 03-Jan-2010, 06:50 PM
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At least you will not find a 20 ft snake in a flower pot. I wish I lived there as I would try to catch a couple of 12 to 15 foot long ones. The two I have convinced me they are close to being perfect pets. They are odorless, low maintainance. They are entertaining to watch at times and they will lay on your stomach and absorb your body heat while you watch TV.

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flora 
Posted: 03-Jan-2010, 07:04 PM
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I'm afraid all my body heat would have been long gone (as in stone cold dead and rigor mortis has set in) before one of those would be allowed near me. biggrin.gif

Flora
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MacEoghainn 
Posted: 03-Jan-2010, 07:07 PM
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QUOTE (flora @ 03-Jan-2010, 06:17 PM)
Oh thanks, MacE.  You would put this up when we are scrambling to protect plants from the freeze.  tongue.gif

Flora

And what about all the snakes we are finding turned loose in Florida?  They are not the small variety.

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'Red touch yellow, kill a fellow. Red touch black, friend to Jack.'
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flora 
Posted: 03-Jan-2010, 07:48 PM
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Having lived in Florida all my life, I have dealt with moccasins (boy they are mean), rattlers, and corals. Strangely enough I am not "as wary" to them as I am the pythons and boa constrictors that are moving into our area. When they get to be as long as me and weigh more I don't like it.

I would never kill one unnecessarily (who am I kidding?, yes I would) but I don't have to like them.

And I do apologize for taking your light hearted story down the wrong track.

Flora
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Patch 
Posted: 03-Jan-2010, 08:26 PM
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This brings back memories of my mother years ago. She did not like snakes at all and though we had no poisonous ones there were many out and about in the summer. She had flower beds around the house and along the wood fence around the lawn. She also had her prize strawberry bed. As she used a hoe to loosen the surface soil and cut weeds she would develop a slow easy rhythm. Occasionally the hoe would become a blur of motion, and you knew she had found a snake. She would scrape the "remains" out of the way and continue down among the plants.

Really big Pythons and Anacondas were worth about $100 a foot and large albino snakes were worth even more.

Some people are petrified around snakes and I can see the scenario MacEoghainn posted taking place at least to some extent.

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TheCarolinaScotsman 
Posted: 03-Jan-2010, 10:06 PM
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Thanks for posting that item MacEoghainn. Since I want to avoid all the grief, Now I know to just shoot my wife to start with. eek.gif wink.gif biggrin.gif


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Donajhi 
Posted: 04-Jan-2010, 12:29 PM
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QUOTE (MacEoghainn @ 03-Jan-2010, 03:06 PM)
*GARDEN SNAKES CAN BE DANGEROUS...


Thanks, I needed that.
The stress of the holiday season just melted away as I set here laughing
my a$$ off.
You're one of the best.......... w00t1.gif w00t2.gif


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