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> Too Many Dangerous People Out There?, Too great risks for our children?
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InRi 
Posted: 03-Mar-2009, 02:26 PM
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QUOTE (InRi; 02-Mar-2002)


QUOTE (flora @ 01-Mar-2009, 11:03 PM)
There is just too many dangerous people out there.

Hi flora
Just now as I read your post I remember that my mother and my grandmother said exactly the same to me as I was a child. I'm not sure if her grandmother said the same to her too, as she was a child - but I could image by myself.
It's right, there's a lot of bad and dangerous people outside today but such people was at the time of my childhood outside too and I'm sure they'll be outside when I have grandchildren.
I, for one as a child, knew the places where I never would gone because there was a bit fishy for me. All my friends knew such places too and never is gone one of us there.
I'm sure the most children have a kind of "instinct" to avoid dangerous people. Furthermore I think that children are save if they playing outside within a group. If you read or hear about missing children they ever were alone on the way.
I know (I have two children too) as parents or grandparents you see the world outside through "attention danger" glasses - and this is good and right. To evaluate and to calculate risks - and a adequate reaction on it is helpful for the children and it is always useful.
But I think too, we shouldn't make a mountain out of a molehill - the bad people today aren't worse as in the past...

Best regards

Ingo

QUOTE (flora; 02-Mar-2009)
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But I think too, we shouldn't make a mountain out of a molehill - the bad people today aren't worse as in the past...


Oh Inri I value your opinion and thoughts but I just can't agree with that statement. I'm sure we could start another forum subject on that and I wish it wasn't true. I find that in today's society there are many more people that would do a criminal act and not thing twice about it. sad.gif

Flora


Hi flora,

in this case I wrote down my own experiences - my own as a child and my experiences with my children. Where I grow up my children grow up, we had really no crime problems (especially against children). I don't say that here aren't bad people out there - but Thank Godness these are particular cases.
I though about it once again and I mean to know why I (in the past) and my children (a couple of years later) was relatively saved outside. All the people around eyed all strangers they tried to approach the children - and accost them if they behaved suspicious. In a nutshell - there was a "well-oiled" neighborhood. (My parents always knew what I done, when I was outside...) An akin "system" I found as my children played outside and the same I notice here in Austria. I'm living here within a little village where everyone knows everyone - here it is really possible that the children can play outside without crime dangers.
I admit that I know too less about the USA to estimate the situation in your country. It's difficult for me to imagine that there is a bad head behind every corner. I know, that in greater towns are some districts you better avoid, but I can't imagine that's so in the whole country.

Best regards from Austria

Ingo


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LadyOfAvalon 
Posted: 03-Mar-2009, 03:42 PM
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Ingo,

I agree...we should not be on the "paranoid" mode or "jugmental" mode where children safety is concern.

I think there was as much as bad people in the past as it is today...as one read history there was pretty sick people and dangerous maniacs in the past..(sorry Flora if you don't agree) but the difference with past and present is (and it comes down to what I've been saying all along) television.

Everything is "mediatized" today...and nothing can be so negative as the news we see on television...don't forget that journalists wants to show you what they want you to see. Today not many don't have TV in their houses...EVERYBODY have a television set and thus everybody is aware of what goes on around the world and frankly that is one of the reason that I myself has cut down on what I watch on the news as it is so negative in terms of bringing informations to the public....sometimes it can be so twisted and that is why people cannot see it as it really is.

Again I am not saying that everything that we hear and see is all fake...no...but a lot of it is edited by the journalists before going on air.
So what it does is scare people and have them believe that we should be all on our guard everywhere we go and even in our own house. To me I think that it is not healthy to the population.

There was bad people, probably more in the past and the difference was that it was kept quiet...in most cases.Maybe we hear more drama because that is what society wants to hear...it has a certain "glamour" it has the "scandal" effect and people love it as they continue to watch and can listen over and over again the same freaking story shown repeatedly on all channels. The media channels wants to be the first to get the better rates...that's what is news is all about.They would go to any lenght to get top rate.

And here in Quebec and I should say in Canada, under the Trudeau's government they have passed a law then where all people with mental diseases and such like maniaco depressive people were not to be institutionnalized anymore because it was against human rights...so what it did is that some people that should be in a psychiatric hospitals are strolling the streets as they wish.Some should be under medications to function normally and they do not unfortunately and most are on their own.And second...criminals don't serve half of their sentence in prison and they're out...so that is why people think that there is more bad people out there, in my opinion.

Street gangs have been in every city since the Roman times...so there is nothing new about street gangs...and I think that (without sounding judgemental) I think it's what we are as a society that could make the difference in our family safety.
I think that by spending more time with the kids and not bringing them up to be materialistics persons and show them that there are still a lot of good in this world to see and not always see every little thing as a doom then I think that it will make a better environnement for them and thus be better person and positive.

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Donajhi 
Posted: 05-Mar-2009, 01:08 PM
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Sadly many are in the family.... sad.gif


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InRi 
Posted: 06-Mar-2009, 12:15 PM
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QUOTE (Donajhi @ 05-Mar-2009, 07:08 PM)
Sadly many are in the family.... sad.gif

Hi Donajhi,

Concise! When I look around - in the most cases of crime against children the culprit was someone in its family or someone who the child knows. It's an evil fact but even a fact.
Sometimes I think how broken down must be a family that such things can happens there...

Ingo
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flora 
Posted: 06-Mar-2009, 04:58 PM
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I think we can all agree that crime has skyrocketed. Are you saying that you do not think that there are more child molesters today then in previous history? I can't agree! With today's conveniences (cars, mass transit, mass people population) it is easier to hide. Why are there so many repeat offenders in prison? They do not fear the price to pay if caught. Look at the government officials that didn't pay their taxes!!! biggrin.gif I received this from the sheriff's office just a couple of days ago: In 2008, there were 67 murders, 804 sex crimes and 2,239 aggravated assaults. That is just in one county of Florida. My husband has to travel to Miami for his business and you would not believe the gangs and crime there.

Do I think I am doom and gloom or paranoid? No. For one child (any child) to be hurt because I was not vigilant enough would be one child too many.

Again let me say I value the discussions we have and have no problem with someone not agreeing with me. Since I don't see us living in a perfect world, I have to teach my children to protect themselves.

Flora


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Donajhi 
Posted: 06-Mar-2009, 05:20 PM
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Flora,
I agree with everything you said. What are the answers, I don't know.
Perhaps a bounty.............. bash.gif
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InRi 
Posted: 07-Mar-2009, 06:46 AM
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Hi flora,

QUOTE (flora @ 06-Mar-2009, 10:58 PM)
Do I think I am doom and gloom or paranoid?

No, I don't.
QUOTE (flora @ 06-Mar-2009, 10:58 PM)
For one child (any child) to be hurt because I was not vigilant enough would be one child too many.

I have to agree from the bottom of my heart. That's standing outside of every discussion!
You took a lot of numbers (and I think these are sadly real) and you asked why the prisons are full.
Well, I think a lot of these criminals could call to account because the police procedures became lots of more efficent as in the past. (here in Europe the police organizations of the different countries are working together and use such things as DNA databases, international data exchange and a lot more for their investigations) In fact here in Europe a criminal hardly has a chance to get away if he is registered only one time. (I don't speak here about the "little thiefs" they steal a chewing-gum in a supermarket - but about the "real" criminals, they could be a danger for the community) I think that's the reason that the prisons are full with subjects they have to stay there (in Europe too!).
In addition the people via press, TV and all the modern medias are more sensitized to this matter. Especially crime against children there have an much more importance as in the past. Here in Austria was happened some cases which had alarmed the population and made for that people are more vigilant as in the past. Much more will generally known as in the past and a lot of people (maybe) realize this as a skyrocketed crime. But I think there are lots of more closed cases as in the past "only".
In the past was said : "Don't talk about such things" and the most of people walked about with closed eyes - Thank Godness that has changed.
I don't deny that there is a lot of crime out there (after all I'm a realist too) and unfortunately we don't live in a perfect world but there are a lot of people out there too, who try to keep us save.

Best regards

Ingo
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Patch 
Posted: 07-Mar-2009, 11:18 AM
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I live in a small community and in 10 years have watched the state AG list of sex offenders climb from 5 to 19. That is just within a mile of my residence. All but one are child molesters. My daughter lives in a larger community and there are more within a mile of her. I must agree that it is worse today. I understand that about 60 years ago a scandal here sent 9 people to prison for un-natural acts against young boys. I guess it isn't a new thing, just more prevalent. My secretary's father was the procurer (truant officer) and served 6 years for his part.

I am ever watchful.

Slàinte,    

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InRi 
Posted: 07-Mar-2009, 06:12 PM
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Dear friends,

I have to admit, that I am somewhat surprised. It seems, that I live really within a complete different world here...
I never doubt your statements but it is really difficult for me to imagine that in your country is such a lot of crime out there. At least I begin to fathom your difficulties if your children play outside - and I begin to understand that in your country a lot of people carry guns...
I emphasize once more - we have crime and criminals here too - but child molesters are fortunately a minority group only. I agree that watchfulness is a very good matter everytime, because an element of risk remains.

Best regards from Austria

Ingo
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valpal59 
Posted: 07-Mar-2009, 07:30 PM
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I agree that we have to always be watchful and that the majority are guilty and should be strung up. Sorry, that is how I feel.
I live in a small town and in our area the list of sex offenders has also grown. But a little over 1/2 are 17 to 20 and were with girls 16 and 17 with their consent. I remember being a teenager and I do not think this is right. These boys will carry that for the rest of their lives.
JMHO

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Patch 
Posted: 11-Mar-2009, 05:25 PM
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valpal59: In my youth I dated girls one or two years younger than myself at times. Before I turned 18 (the age of consent in my state) I STOPPED! I remained friends with the younger girls but NO more dates. I intended to avoid even the illusion of wrong doing.

People need to be responsible for their own actions. I just received notification re: a 30 year old male and his offense was s-x with a female child under age 14! I agree with your solution! I have a grand daughter who is 13!

As I read my area news papers each day I watch the list of reported crimes grow.

Inri: You are fortunate if crimes against children are low in your country. There are people in the US who live in areas where it is legal who carry firearms for protection to do so at times but I doubt it is that widespread.

As the economy worsens, We will all need to be more vigilant. The drug store where I shop told me that the nature of shoplifting is changing. In the past, make up and beauty items were stolen mostly by young girls. Now more of the theft is stool softener, stomach medicine, vitamins, supplements and over the counter cold remedies. This theft involves the elderly. The grocery store where I shop noted the same thing. The items stolen now are low end, canned soup, raman noodles, pork and beans and etc. Again by elderly.

Some of the larger Urban areas are probably past that and dealing with more violent crime even now. I really hope it does not get much worse!

Slàinte,   

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Faerydreamer 
Posted: 08-Jul-2009, 07:07 PM
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I believe that as parents we must be willing to listen to anything our children have to say to us.

My parents did not listen to me. I spent five years trying to get someone to listen to my story. The person who finally listened was the last person I expected to have believe me.

When I was 12, I was asked to babysit for my parents' best friends. They had three children. The father would be home but working on his small engine repair business. His wife worked as a waitress and therefore did not make it home until midnight. Well....things did not go like that. The man decided that I was a nice play thing. He took it all the way. This went on for five years because no one would listen.

His wife finally got smart and decided to divorce him. She came to me and asked if something had happened between me and her husband. Well, I did not lie. Even with the wife telling them, my parents did not want to believe that this had happened.

I testified at the custody hearing. Charges could not be pressed because there was no physical proof.

I have written my story down, with names changed, in the hopes that one person can be saved from a similar fate. This is just more proof that things can happen to the one person that you do not think it will happen to, YOU.

Please keep an open door policy with your children. They may have something as or more important to talk to you about.


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Patch 
Posted: 08-Jul-2009, 08:08 PM
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I was just talking with a lady today who was molested by the husband of the lady who's children she watched when she was between the ages of 11 and 13. Her family did not believe her and when the woman divorced her husband, she asked. An outsider believed her.

As a rule children do not lie about those things unless some one seriously coaches them.

Slàinte,   

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Faerydreamer 
Posted: 09-Jul-2009, 06:59 PM
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I cannot imagine any child that would want to lie about something like that. It is not something that is openly discussed in the general public. If a child knows specifics, it is time to listen with both ears.

Headline in today's paper: 77 year old man convicted of molestation...sentenced to 20 - 60 years for molesting a 7 year old boy. SICK!!
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