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> Quality Time With Family., How do you spend it?
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gaberlunzie 
Posted: 30-Oct-2008, 01:38 AM
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I have been reading this thread for a while now and it has me made think...

My father died 18 years ago but I still have my Mom. Though I always loved her and always will there are things which happened and hurt me , things she refused to talk about.
These unspoken problems have worked on me in a way which was giving me a hard time because I needed to pull back emotionally in order to bear the situation.
After my birthday in September I got a call from Mom that she was planning to visit me with my sister; both haven't been here for 5 years and I haven't seen them for 3 years.
My emotions were very mixed; kind of joy and fear and doubts.
But then the day arrived and they visited me one Friday night. When Mom stepped out of the car my heart widened and I gave her a hug and held her close to me. Same with my sister.
We spent a very good time. Though I know that the things I always wanted to talk about will remain unspoken I enjoyed to have them with me and I felt I finally could let go. It was a time, so peaceful and in harmony that this big rock moved from my soul and gave way for all the love I feel for Mom. I could forgive and let go, I made peace with her; no words were necessary, we both could feel it and that did the trick.
Mom is 73 yrs. old now, and she's getting old. Older. Still in good condition but it made clear to me that the time still left for us is limited.

I can't go to see her because my step-father who is a very hard man wouldn't let me into their place - long story. We decided to see each other more often now. My sister will pick up Mom for some more visits, the first one will still be this year, before Xmas.
So this visit I was a bit worrying about before that day was a blessing to all of us.


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"Now here's my secret", said the fox, "it is very simple. It is only with ones heart that one can see clearly. What is essential is invisible to the eye."

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"The soul would have no rainbow, if the eye had no tears."
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gaberlunzie 
Posted: 31-Oct-2008, 06:45 AM
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LOA, again - you are doing such a great job with caring for your father. I can relate to a few things you have to deal with, and most probably there are days when dark clouds would keep your spirits down - but let me say again that what you are doing is a lot more many outside there would in your place, so you are a wonderful daughter.

Your posts have been an inspiration for me to deal with my relationship with my mother, and I want to thank you for that, dear. hug.gif
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LadyOfAvalon 
Posted: 03-Nov-2008, 02:57 PM
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Dear Gabby,

I have no honors really all I'm doing is for me the normal thing to do.

I'm glad that you've found your mother and made peace with her. Life is too short and in life there are situations that makes one realize that even though we can have disagreements with our parents once they get old and sick they need us kids at their side no matter what.
And yes there will be some unsaid things as well, for to what purpose do we have to re-ash some old memories or old arguments that happened in the past anyways...nothing.

It is so much better to try and spend the present time and what's left of it (in my case) in peace and happiness.

Thanks hug.gif dear Gabby and hope you'll see your maman often and build some new memories with her.

Keep us posted.

LOA smile.gif


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"I think a hero is an ordinary individual who finds strenght to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles."
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LadyOfAvalon 
Posted: 06-Feb-2009, 08:33 PM
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It's been a while since this thread has seen me post in here...I guess I've been busy with my friends on MK and neglected a bit in here...shame on you LOA.

This week have been a bit on the "rock & roll"side...me dad has been hospitalized last Thursday actually on february 1st again for the contraction of the C difficult bacteria...and a bad cold...

At this age (he'll be 81 Feb.20th) and a sick man,frail and suffered a stroke last year, he is bound to get the smallest virus and cold. He has been put in isolation and should be out of it this week end...the antibiotics are working and he is now progressing better...though still fragile he is in a way stronger than the first time he had contracted it as he was put in isolation for a whole week...

So this past week it was in and out of the hospital everyday as I won't leave him alone in there...short staff and all, I prefer to be there and keep him company.
How long he'll be there,I don't know, I hope and he does too to be out next week since the antibiotics worked better than the first time and faster.

So we'll see.

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