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> Quality Time With Family., How do you spend it?
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ilpiccolobardo 
Posted: 02-Aug-2008, 11:25 AM
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QUOTE (iolanda @ 02-Aug-2008, 11:08 AM)
smile.gif Hi,
here is Michelangelo; isn't he very sweet?
bye1.gif Slàinte
note.gif iolanda

...and he is surely an expert with pc !
Nice pic, Iolanda, really !

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iolanda 
  Posted: 02-Aug-2008, 12:46 PM
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wink.gif Thanks a lot,
here is another one, he has a real funny expression !! When I''ll be able to create my photo album, I'll put some photos about my jewels wub.gif ...my wonderful secretive Prince Gabriele and my little adorable witch Agnese ..
::byeSlàinte
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Monarchs Own 
Posted: 03-Aug-2008, 03:18 PM
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At the moment family time is 30 minutes on the computer with my husband. My son sits on his computer and I on mine and we chat with him and have the cams on.

We spend time when we can otherwise. Usually going out for dinner to a quiet restaurant or playing a board game or watching a movie.

When we can, we try to spend time together but in the military with my husband having to work on weekend very often due to his job, it's a challenge. But we try to spend time together as much as we can.



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LadyOfAvalon 
Posted: 28-Aug-2008, 06:48 PM
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As I see my father's health decline every day I realize that spending quality time with him becomes more and more important for me.Even if he is was not the loving father that us kids wanted him to be I'd like to think that in his heart he loved us in his own way.
Since the stroke he made a remarquable recovery but the week before he was out of the readaptation hospital he contracted the " C.difficile" bacteria and since then he is very weak to the point of hardly eating and he's very dehydrated so much so that the nurses that come home to take blood samples from him, have a hard time because the veins are hard. And now he cannot urine anymore and he's already in pain because of the bacteria.Today my mom and one of my sisters brought him to see his family doctor and they were able to get a urine sample to try and see what's going on, if it's an infection or something else,we should get the results in a week or so.
I find it hard to see him like this for this was a man even he was an alcoholic,always got up early to go to work every day, he was a construction worker and worked long hours to feed us and shelter us. Life was very simple in our home for he was the only one "bringing the dough" in the house and feed 6 kids and a wife. No, he was no angel that's for sure but he worked hard until he had to retired for health problems.
Everyday at lunch I go at my parents to sit and chat with him he doesn't talk much for he is tired all the time.But as I talk with him for the time I'm there I can see that he is now very emotional for even when he laughs at something that I just said to him that's funny in the end he cries. He even make jokes himself which he never did before, for he was a hard man.
I only pray that for the time that he has left with us how short or long it may be that he won't suffer because has hard or whatever he was in his life he doesn't deserve it. Hopefully he will get better and recover so that he can enjoy the time he has with us.Not in a hospital.

LOA


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ranger 
Posted: 28-Aug-2008, 07:49 PM
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LOA, my prayers go out to you and your family, especially your Father. It seems that sometimes it takes a huge crisis to realize what someone means to us and to enable us to put our lifelong relationships with people into perspective. I wish you all the best.


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ranger 
Posted: 28-Aug-2008, 07:58 PM
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With us, it's hard to spend actual quality time with the kids as they are all so young and we are going in 20 different directions with soccer, dance, choir, cheerleading, basketball, etc. And right now I am gone for 10 weeks away from my babies. (they're 10, 7 and 4 so they can't find out I called them that). But one of the things we do that they absolutely love is Friday night movie night. They all get to pick a movie out to rent, and I bring the air mattress into the living room and we "camp out" there all night watching movies. Then in the morning, as Saturdays are the only day I have time to make a real breakfast, they take turns choosing what I will make. Of course by now we all know the pattern of who is going to order what. That's just one of the things we try to do with them as a family before they get too "old" to want to hang out with Mom and Dad. sad.gif
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LadyOfAvalon 
Posted: 29-Aug-2008, 08:25 AM
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QUOTE (ranger @ 28-Aug-2008, 08:49 PM)
LOA, my prayers go out to you and your family, especially your Father. It seems that sometimes it takes a huge crisis to realize what someone means to us and to enable us to put our lifelong relationships with people into perspective. I wish you all the best.

Thank you for the kind words Ranger.
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TheCarolinaScotsman 
Posted: 29-Aug-2008, 09:39 AM
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LOA, my father-in-law was also an alcoholic who worked seven days a week and treated his family like the dirt off his shoe. In Later years he developed dementia from mini strokes and was in poor health. His daughter, my wife, took care of him for ten years, in the last few years that included bathing him and changing his diaper. When it started she hated her dad, but by the end, she realized she did love him and that in some strange way, the past really didn't matter. She regretted it, wished it could have been different, but totally let go of all the negative feelings that she had grown up with.


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LadyOfAvalon 
Posted: 29-Aug-2008, 06:16 PM
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Thank you Carolina Scotsman for sharing your story.
I don't feel and grudge or nay resentment towards him because he was not abusing physically towards us, he was in words though. I guess my dad was never comfortable with himself and the life he chose. But I guess in those days when one got married it was for life no matter what. So he started taking booze with his fellow workers after work for he did not drink in the first years of their marriage, but then he was influence by the "guys" and he followed.

At least what is important is the fact that none of us childrens holds any grudge for even though and we all ptich in to help our parents.Their wish is to stay home and we'll try to respect that wish as long as possible for them.
I called him today and he sounded a little bit better, he was glad to tell me that he ask the neighbour to bring him at the clinic for his x-rays and he came back allright and that he felt good going out a bit even if it was to go at the clinic.
He told me that at lunch he ate a little bit of beef and potato and even a cookie that he said he enjoyed very much.
So today was a good day and tomorrow we'll see, we don't have any choice but to go a day at a time and at least he doesn't have the need for a drink and I suspect that he doesn't even think about it.


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ctbard 
Posted: 30-Aug-2008, 07:13 PM
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My heart goes out to you also LOA, I havent posted much lately so had no idea of the goings on lately, just cherish to time you have with your dad.
It makes me so sad that the whole time my husband has been in the hospital, it was a week last Wednesday, our son hasnt come or called even once. Camn't beleive he could be so cold.


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Camac
Posted: 31-Aug-2008, 08:51 AM
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ctbard;

On the subject of abusive alcoholic spouses and parents; My Dads' younger stepbrother was one and he really beat his wife bad once. Dad heard about it and drove the 140 miles to Norms small farm to straighten him out. Well he did just that. He took Norm for a walk to the barn and abot 30 min. later came back to the house alone and told Norms' wife Jean to call an ambulance Norm had had an accident.
Dad had beat the you know what out of his brother. When Norm got out of the Emergency Room he got help and eventually sobered up. Drastic steps I know but in this case it worked. Norm is about 80 now and been clean and sober for about 50 years and still married to Jean.

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ranger 
Posted: 31-Aug-2008, 10:54 AM
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Fortunately for your aunt, your uncle to his "punishment" as a warning and learned from it. Fortunately for your father they were living in another time frame and era than today's society and values.
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Camac
Posted: 31-Aug-2008, 11:19 AM
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QUOTE (ranger @ 31-Aug-2008, 10:54 AM)
Fortunately for your aunt, your uncle to his "punishment" as a warning and learned from it. Fortunately for your father they were living in another time frame and era than today's society and values.

Ranger; Your right. Thinking back to those days in the early 60s I feel sorry for Norm. He never stood a chance agaist Dad. Dad was about 42 and in top physical shape and granted Norm worked the farm and was prettyn strong but Dad had the advantage in that he was an ex-Commando and was an expert in Judo. After Norn sobered up he was really a great guy. I guess it was a lesson well learned.


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LadyOfAvalon 
Posted: 31-Aug-2008, 06:30 PM
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QUOTE (ctbard @ 30-Aug-2008, 08:13 PM)
My heart goes out to you also LOA, I havent posted much lately so had no idea of the goings on lately, just cherish to time you have with your dad.
It makes me so sad that the whole time my husband has been in the hospital, it was a week last Wednesday, our son hasnt come or called even once. Camn't beleive he could be so cold.

ctbard,
I thank you for your kind thoughts and I certainly try to spend as much time as I can with him for I know very well how fragile he is right now and could be gone in a minute.
As for your son, again I never wish ill to anyone but I'm a strong believer that life takes care of those that decided to be selfish and show no compassion towards another. Maybe one day and hopefully he'll wake up and understand the value of family. Meanwhile there is nothing you can do unfortunately for it is him that must come forward.

Camac,
Though I don't want to make it a subject here,alcoholism is without a doubt a family destructive factor for there is no way there could be quality time in family when alcohol is in the picture.
For alcohol transforms one into beast or worst...monster in some cases.

My dad was a completely different man when sober but unfortunately it didn't last long.For when under the influence he would scare me with all kinds of nasty prediction like wars or revolutions. When one is a kid and hear things like that one grows up with some fears. Mine was the noises of planes. I would hear planes and run to my mom crying that we were under attack....though these foolish fears disappeared fast enough, I lived them nonetheless.

Today,I am proud to tell my dad that he is a handsome man for I tell him everyday during the week when I go to my parents home for lunch,that it is good to see him smile, though maybe I should shut my mouth for I make him cry all the time I say that to him,but still he is such a change man in many ways.
On his 75th birthday I gave him a huge birthday card with a beautiful countryside aquarelle painting on it of his birthplace and inside I wrote a poem to him.
Even then he was at his worst in alcohol for he just wanted to die and he kept at it like crazy. But in my poem dedicated to him I was telling him that even though he was trying his best to show a hard and cruel exterior that I knew that inside him he was a wounded man and not what he'd let the world see.
For I knew him as a man with a pure heart....again I saw my father cry like a baby.

LOA
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Patch 
Posted: 31-Aug-2008, 10:00 PM
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I have a neighbor who is dealing with a son who is angry with her. She hasn't seen him in 5 or 6 years. I never mention him unless she wants to talk. Little does he know that she will leave him a wealthy individual someday regardless of how he treats her. Not that it is any reason to maintain a relationship. His mother would never punish him that way or any other to my knowledge.

I too believe that everything comes full circle eventually. If you spread hate and anger, that will come back to you and probably at the least opportune time!

Slàinte,    

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