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> Family Values Disapearring!, What are your thoughts?
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LadyOfAvalon 
  Posted: 04-Jul-2008, 06:33 PM
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We live difficult times these days in concerns of family values.
Times are changing of course but does values and principals have to disapear because of it?
I don't think so. I come from a big family and though we don't always share common opinions on things doesn't mean that we don't talk to each other anymore or for that matter hate each other.


What are your thoughts on todays living and its impact on family values?

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LadyOfAvalon 
Posted: 12-Jul-2008, 04:51 PM
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One thought comes to mind about family values.

In today's school system the students can wear pretty much what they want. Lately there has been some school principals that returned some students home,we're talking about girls specifically here, for the reason that they weren't dressed properly.
In regards of their way of dressing, why they were returned was because the girls were wearing shirts without bras and very short skirts.
I don't have to tell you that this made the news.

But what I did find appaling was the girls's mother reaction to the principal dress code policy of one of the schools which he wanted all the students to respect.
One of them was completely mad by the fact that the principal was "telling"her how to dress her daughter properly.
The woman just did not respect the authority of the school principal and sent her daughter back to school the next day dressed the same way.

In my youth, dress code was to be respected in school, we girls would wear tunics with a white blouse and boys would wear black pants with white shirt. What is now happening here that kids now dress like some whore to go to school and parents just don't care? What about pride?

This is one of the many values that has disappeared,I think.

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Robert Phoenix 
Posted: 13-Jul-2008, 04:03 PM
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Qutie frankly I don't think anybody has the time to teach family values anymore. I think one of the major causes of this is with most of the stores staying open all the time, including holidays, everybody is too busy working to keep the system going. The store stay open, we have more opportunity to buy more useless stuff, the stores need to order more useless stuff from the factories, so we have to work more hours for stuff we can no longer afford because we spent it on gas to get to work.
I agree with you somewhat about the school system. I would have to add that some of the "clicks' do have to go. And while uniforms are not a bad idea there has to be some room for individuality. Total conformity goes against the idea of American individualism.
Another problem is do the school officials deserve respect. Some but not all. Our local school is so sports oriented it isn't funny. When the budget for the golf team was ready to be cut they had to move the meeting to the gym beacuse of the number of the parents involved. Most of this is due to the principal who has "jock" written all over him. He picks favorites. Remember the last Harry Potter movie? Imagine a sports oriented male Delores Umbridge


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Patch 
Posted: 13-Jul-2008, 05:41 PM
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Catholic schools require uniforms and there are strict rules about coverage! I see kids dressed provocatively when I pass our grade schools and that is a parenting problem. I never allowed that with my kids! There is definitely a breakdown in teaching values at home and there is a MASSIVE failure of common sense in the school system.

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Camac
Posted: 13-Jul-2008, 06:35 PM
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QUOTE (Patch @ 13-Jul-2008, 05:41 PM)
Catholic schools require uniforms and there are strict rules about coverage! I see kids dressed provocatively when I pass our grade schools and that is a parenting problem. I never allowed that with my kids! There is definitely a breakdown in teaching values at home and there is a MASSIVE failure of common sense in the school system.

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Patch;

Up here in the Toronto area uniforms are required at Catholic Highschools. The boys wear grey slacks and white shirts, the girls wear kilts and white blouses. The first thing that is done with the kilt is it is turned into a micro mini skirt (you see more butt cheek than at a Los Vegas Floor show) and the top three or four buttons on the blouse are left open. Even in winter when its minus 25 they are prancing around in fashion. When my ex went to Catholic highschool in the 60s' it was blue Tunics white blouses and knee socks and no make up. The times they are a changing.


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LadyOfAvalon 
Posted: 13-Jul-2008, 06:54 PM
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QUOTE (Robert Phoenix @ 13-Jul-2008, 05:03 PM)
Qutie frankly I don't think anybody has the time to teach family values anymore. I think one of the  major causes of this is with most of the stores staying open all the time, including holidays,  everybody is too busy working to keep the system going.  The store stay open, we have more opportunity to buy more useless stuff, the stores need to order more useless stuff from the factories, so we have to work more hours for stuff we can no longer afford because we spent it on gas to get to work.
I agree with you somewhat about the school system.  I would have to add that some of the "clicks' do have to go.  And while uniforms are not a bad idea there has to be some room for individuality.  Total conformity goes against the idea of American individualism. 
Another problem is do the school officials deserve respect.  Some but not all.  Our local school is so sports oriented it isn't funny.  When the budget for the golf team was ready to be cut they had to move the meeting to the gym beacuse of the number of the parents involved.  Most of this is due to the principal who has "jock" written all over him.  He picks favorites. Remember the last Harry Potter movie? Imagine a sports oriented male Delores Umbridge

Robert, I agree too about the store being opened 24/7 and people just don't have the time anymore for social and personal life. But no offense that is the American way, it hasn't been that long that the store are open long hours here in Quebec at least, I don't know about the west provinces and Ontario I think it's the same as here. But in the Maritimes, the last time I was there they were just talking about opening on Sunday and I know that only some places are open but not all.
People were against it and quite frankly here too they should have done a popular vote before deciding these crazy hours.

I agree as well that school officials deserve respect. But then again, respect must start at home with parents. Familiarity with everyone either at school or on the work force is not respectfull, in my opinion. In the english language there are one pronoun to adress a person which is "you" that depending on whom you are adressing the person knows the difference but in french you have two pronoun.

Again I grew up and was tought to adress my elder in a polite manner but today is quite different. Kids that don't even know you, adress you on the first-name terms.
I find it disturbing sometimes to be adressed like that though I am not at all introverted when it comes to kids I wish sometimes that they would show a bit more decorum when they talk.
If I would have adressed an adult like that in front of my parents, you can be sure that either one of them would have told me right then to be more respectful towards adults.

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ogdenmusic 
Posted: 01-Oct-2008, 08:16 PM
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I guess one has to define what family values are. A dictionary defines it as follows; Family values is a political and social concept used in various cultures to describe values that are believed to be traditional in that culture and in support of the idea that nuclear families are the basic units of culture.

I agree with the comments before. Schools, clubs and the like are not teaching to children these days. I believe it's up to parents to instill values. Turn off the TV, take away the gameboy/wi/play station. Do activities as a family and learn from the good examples that hopefully the parents are setting.


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j Padraig moore 
Posted: 20-Oct-2008, 01:04 PM
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QUOTE (ogdenmusic @ 01-Oct-2008, 08:16 PM)
... I believe it's up to parents to instill values. ...

A very good point by ogdenmusic. My wife works at the local high school/middle school and the biggest problem she sees is a lack of parental involvement or action. Parents come into the school all the time and either blame the school for their kid's problems; ignore the problems; deny the problems or all of the above. The problems with the loss of family values is us, those of us that are parents. Kids are allowed to get away with murder; dress like gangsters and whores; do anything they want; rut like animals (please excuse my crassness, but it's true), simply because parents allow these things to happen.

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Camac
Posted: 20-Oct-2008, 02:22 PM
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delainesunshine1978 
Posted: 29-Jan-2009, 09:21 PM
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I believe respect should be givin even if it is not earned! If not more and more people are going to lose their temperment and act out.

Lady of Avalon I agree with you! And I am not shocked that the girls mom was mad at the principal. I see it all the time and it is maddening!! Kids have their parents to look to and learn from, yet when the parents are failing the child you get, well that! It is an ugly cycle that is growing and to be honest, it scares me!

If my daughter even so much as tried to talk back I would be right there over her reminding her what her place in life is. I cant let her get away with anything because I love her too much. I cant let her go out and offend or hurt others....

It would be great if people were more loving and showed their best efforts instead of showing their attitude off.


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CelticRadio 
Posted: 29-Jan-2009, 09:40 PM
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I recently ran across a website from Canada that is helping men become better men!

http://www.promisekeepers.ca/content/index

It's called Promise Keepers and it teaches men to become good fathers, husbands, marriage and parenting skills for success!

Not sure if there is a Girls version, but I think organizations like these are great to help perserve family values.


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LadyOfAvalon 
Posted: 01-Feb-2009, 01:47 PM
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Thanks for the link Paul...just went in an explored a little bit and it is quite interesting...will continue exploration for sure.

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McRoach 
Posted: 08-Jun-2009, 12:58 PM
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There are some good points being made in this discussion about immodest dress and the lack of parental involvement or their attempts to control this misbehavior. I admit in my high school days I enjoyed the distraction caused by gals who forgot to put on a bra. drool.gif

How we allow our kids to dress is just one of many disappearing values that have come about anymore. Having been on vacation in which I drove 800 miles to reach my destination I couldn't help but notice the number of fellow travelers with kids who were plugged into a movie in the back of van/suv, I smiled at the fact I too was guilty of using this devise part of the way. While I was growing up part of the fun on vacation was the getting there, the many places, and sights along the way. I asked my child what she thought of the drive through the mountains and forests and she said ok but was busy watching some disney movie for the third or forth time.

Another disconnect from the family could be linked to Texting on a cell phone. How many parents let their children bring a cell phone to the dinner table and have conversations with friends while ignoring siblings and parents that they are right there face to face with? Further more how many days a week do families sit down and have dinner together? Once upon a time it was 6-7 nights a week the common household these days has dropped to 2-3 nights if that.

The rat race continues to keep us running and often too busy to make or take the time to check in with those we love on a regular basis and thus the traditional family values slowly fade away.


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flora 
Posted: 14-Jun-2009, 08:09 AM
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When my children were in school, we kicked around the idea of school uniforms. Many wanted uniforms because of the those wearing designer clothes (the same ones that their parents let them drive BMW's to school) caused others to have self esteem complexes. I was against the idea because I wanted my children to deal with the matter of looking at the individual not the exterior.

I have had to fight for family dinners though. I came from a family that had regular sit down dinners at night but my husband did not. Unfortunately, being located in Florida always provides excuses for being outdoors. Try having a meaningful discussion with someone (that includes husband as well as children) even if it is outside at the picnic table with others either playing on the basketball court or on the lake.

McRoach I am guilty also for letting our 6 year grandson watch movies in the back seat while traveling. But I figure it evens out because we are usually camping when we get to our destination where we turn it off. biggrin.gif

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Camac
Posted: 14-Jun-2009, 09:00 AM
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flora;

When I was growing up these were the rules at the supper table;

1. You came when called. No dilly dallying.

2. You sat straight backed, elbows off the table. Slouching or elbows on the table meant a wrap from the handle of my Dads dinner knife.

3. You were allowed a drink of water or milk before you started to eat and you could not drink while eating, unless you started choking.

4. You ate with your mouth closed.

5. Children were not allowed to talk at the dinner table unless they were asked a question. and you did not talk with food in your mouth but finished chewing and swallowing before answering.

6. You did not reach for anything on the table but asked to have it passed.

7. When you finished eating you placed your knife and fork parallel to each other on the plate in the centre.

8. You did not leave the table unless you were excused and you took you plate with you to the kitchen and put it on the counter.

These same rules, modified somewhat, were passed onto my children but I always insisted on good manners at the table. I know if I ever have Grandkids the rules will be even further modified and passed on. Times change I know but I am still of the belief that when you sit down to eat you do so with proper manners.


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