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> Culloden, rough draft
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Camac
Posted: 10-Mar-2008, 07:28 PM
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Thick the ball & shot did fly
Loud the cries of those who die
Stand fast, stand fast the Captains Bid
Whilst broadswords 'gainst Targes did beat
Charge on, charge on the Clansmen cry
Let it be English this day who die
And forward on the clans do rush
Let it be England this day we crush
Muskets volley, bay'net slash
Sabres slice in a silvery flash
The Clansmen fall the ground stained red
As Culloden Moor cradled our dead
But Cumberland is not done with us
The wounded slain by bay'net thrust
Murder done upon this field
Even unto those who plead to yeild
His Horse he orders Ride them Down
Kill all who'd stand against the Crown
But acts like this
Will not deter
But cause the Lions'
Blood to stir, and
On a Day as
Yet to be
The Land of Scots
Will again be Free.
               
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John Clements 
Posted: 10-Mar-2008, 08:50 PM
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QUOTE (Camac @ 10-Mar-2008, 07:28 PM)
Thick the ball & shot did fly
Loud the cries of those who die
Stand fast, stand fast the Captains Bid
Whilst broadswords 'gainst Targes did beat
Charge on, charge on the Clansmen cry
Let it be English this day who die
And forward on the clans do rush
Let it be England this day we crush
Muskets volley, bay'net slash
Sabres slice in a silvery flash
The Clansmen fall the ground stained red
As Culloden Moor cradled our dead
But Cumberland is not done with us
The wounded slain by bay'net thrust
Murder done upon this field
Even unto those who plead to yeild
His Horse he orders Ride them Down
Kill all who'd stand against the Crown
Kill all the Rabble, slay all of them
And Pray That Scotland
Never rises again.

Pretty smooth for a rough draft.
Thanks,
JC


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Himself 
Posted: 11-Mar-2008, 02:29 PM
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Excellent effort, Camac.

Makes me want to climb into my time machine, transport myself back to that field in April 1746 and add myself to the ranks of baying clans.

It is one of those events, which when I read about it, I wished had it a different ending.

We ought to run a world wide poll. 'Who would stand with Charlie ?'. I bet the figure wouldn't be 5000 ..........


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Ay ne'er was afraid o a foe
'N' wha daurs meddle wi me ?

In battle I ride a'ways the foremost,
My straik is the first in melee,
Ay ficht fer kin and Country,
'N' wha daurs meddle wi me ?
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Camac
Posted: 11-Mar-2008, 02:41 PM
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Himself;

If you likes Culloden please read The Red Lion. Its in Celtic Hearts, Poems page 2
I would like your opinion

Camac.
               
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Camac
Posted: 11-Mar-2008, 02:48 PM
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J.C.
Your poem inspired me to draught up Culloden. Thank you. It is funny but both my Families fought not only with the Bruce at Bannockburn but at Culloden. One with Cumberland and one with Charlie.

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Aaediwen 
Posted: 11-Mar-2008, 05:49 PM
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I agree that it flows very well for a rough draft. The last couple lines are the only really rough spot I found.

Let's go back and train us some snipers against the English.


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Camac
Posted: 12-Mar-2008, 06:57 PM
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Aaediwen; Agreed. Having trouble with ending. My 65 year old brain doesn't work like it use to.

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Finduella 
Posted: 05-Apr-2008, 01:54 AM
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Culloden always stirs. I visited in 2007 and was really suprised what a profound reaction I had . I didn't know of any kin involved but i cried ( and I'm not a Jesse crying girl at all) very moving poem thanks
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LadyOfAvalon 
Posted: 09-Apr-2008, 06:59 PM
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Camac I am not a so hard critic...I think this poem is quite moving in reference to the infamous battle.Thanks for sharing.

fiona, yes I've been to the moors of Culloden as well and like you not an easy one to shed a tear but as you walk that place there is a profound sadness that one feels inside and although I have no family whatsoever that I could say is connected, my throat was so constricted I could not say anything otherwise I would of start crying right then and there.

Even the guide that walked with us at some point did not talked anymore we just walked in complete silence.LOA


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Leelee 
Posted: 09-Apr-2008, 08:43 PM
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Excellent rough draught, Camac, brought tears to me eyes, it did


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Leelee 
Posted: 09-Apr-2008, 08:48 PM
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Sorry, I wasna quite done yet...somehow it was sent... Aye I agree with the ending, should be a bit different like Scotland will Rise Again!!

I too agree with Himself, I would like to fight among them with my Claymore, even though I am a woman. I feel a rage when I think of Culloden & the English in those times.....

Fionadunbar, I believe it would be a verra moving experience feeling the spirits stir among the fields.....I know for a fact that I would weep silently too.

Verra well done, Camac thumbs_up.gif
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Camac
Posted: 10-Apr-2008, 07:32 AM
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To all that commented on "Culloden" my grateful thanks and I will get back to work on a better eneding. 45 years ago come this July 23rd I stood on Culloden Moor and was struck by a sense of both pride and shame. Pride that my step-fathers' ancestors had fought with "Charlie" and deep shame that my birth family had fought for the English. I think on that day I started to be more of a MacArthur than a Campbell but then I was a young and foolish lad and as I grew older realized that I should be proud of both my families for the one great thing they have in common is that they are 'SCOTS'




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LadyOfAvalon 
Posted: 10-Apr-2008, 05:19 PM
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QUOTE (Camac @ 10-Apr-2008, 08:32 AM)
To all that commented on "Culloden" my grateful thanks and I will get back to work on a better ending. 45 years ago come this July 23rd I stood on Culloden Moor and was struck by a sense of both pride and shame. Pride that† my step-fathers' ancestors had fought with "Charlie" and deep shame that my birth family had fought for the English. I think on that day I started to be more of a MacArthur than a Campbell but then I was a young and foolish lad and as I grew older realized that I should be proud of both my families for the one great thing they have in common is that they are 'SCOTS'




Camac.

Yes Camac although I don't have the same roots as yours. I do understand very much the need to have them and being proud.

However I have spoken to the people while there and talked about those awful days. And not so many would rally today with a man like Bonny Prince Charlie also in history books about Culloden that I've read stated that quite a few lairds were opposed to this uprising because they knew it was a lost cause from start.

And after that battle and all that followed not many Scots were proud of that man anymore because he disapearred and went to exile and safety leaving his fellow country men being executed and families sold into servitude, he was more considered a coward. That because of his pride and ambiton so much was lost.

Also we must understand that we cannot compare today with 2 centuries ago.
Life and culture were much different and people were easily influenced by charismatic titled men of power. And Bonny Prince Charlie was a very charismatic man.
Yes it's a great Scottish tragedy but it's unfortunately part of the history of mankind.War.And in war there is no winner.

And of course you should be proud for either family.Believe me I wish I had roots to be proud of.LOA
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Camac
Posted: 11-Apr-2008, 08:26 AM
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LOA;
The thing to remember is that Prince Charles Edward Stewart represented an idea.
That was the return of the Catholic Stewarts to the Throne. The majority of his followers were Highlanders who had mainly stayed true to the old religion. It was the idea not the man. Granted many of the clans held back support but after the taking of Edinburgh, and the invasion of England in which the Scots got within 100 miles of London many more of the clans rallied. The cause was doomed because the expected risings in England never took place and the French support never really materialized, but for a brief instant hope burned strong in the Scots' hearts.
The Prince was spirited from Culloden by his staff with the hopes of rallying the clans again. His personal bravery was never questioned.
Charlie died years later a broken, drunken old man in Rome but the Dream of Freedom lives on.


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LadyOfAvalon 
Posted: 11-Apr-2008, 12:01 PM
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My dear Camac,
I know about the history of Culloden,please.It was not my intention to debate on this event or Prince Charlie for this is a topic dedicated to poems.
The comments that I wrote were in reference to what you stated about feeling "pride and shame" for your ancestors.Thank you.LOA
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