Since I am a Quality Engineering Consultant for the Pharmaceutical industry, I found this particularly funny:
A tourist walked into a pet shop and was looking at the animals on display.
While he was there, another customer walked in and went over to a cage at
the side of the shop and took out a monkey.
He fit a collar and leash, handed it to the customer, saying, "That'll be
$5000." The customer paid and walked out with his monkey.
Startled, the tourist went over to the shopkeeper and said, "That was a very
expensive monkey. Most of them are only a few hundred dollars. Why did it
cost so much?"
The shopkeeper answered, "Ah, that monkey can program in C - very fast,
tight code, no bugs, well worth the money."
The tourist looked at the monkey in another cage. "That one's even more
expensive - $10,000! What does it do?"
"Oh, that one's a C++ monkey; it can manag e object-oriented programming,
Visual C++, even some Java. All the really useful stuff," said the
The tourist looked around for a little longer and saw a third monkey in a
cage of its own. The price tag around its neck read $50,000. He gasped to
the shopkeeper, "That one costs more than all the others put together! What
on earth does it do?"
The shopkeeper replied, "Well, I haven't actually seen it do anything, but
it says it's a consultant."
"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe."