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Líadan Siofra 
Posted: 18-May-2007, 10:58 PM
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Ah, who needs homework? Instead of doing it, make up a few really good excuses so your teachers will let you off the hook.

I'm starting college on Monday. Any tips?
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haynes9 
Posted: 19-May-2007, 12:19 AM
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Be sure and disagree with your profs at every opportunity. They will love your independent thinking and will surely give you high grades! And don't hesitate to buy last year's tests from an upper classman. They would NEVER lead a Newbie astray!

Going to Phoenix tomorrow and my car's AC is on the blink. How should I stay cool?


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Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost. -- John Quincy Adams

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For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved - Romans 10:13 (KJV)

The Lord is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble, and he knoweth them that trust in him - Nahum 1:7 (KJV)
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John Clements 
Posted: 19-May-2007, 10:13 AM
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1. Wear a jump suit.
2. Duct tape all the cuffs of the jump suit tightly closed.
3. Dump ice cubes down the neck of the jump suit, until it’s completely full. You might also consider only driving at night, or only in the shade.

Aside from my house being full of stuff, the outside is in grave need of painting. So, should I sand and scrape the old paint off, or should I just let nature run its course, and wait until the old paint falls off by itself?


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Life should be like skiing, you have the most fun on the way down. J.C. 8/17/07

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If you’re looking for a new experience, don’t hire someone with a lot of it. J.C. sometime in 1990
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Lady of the Loch 
Posted: 19-May-2007, 11:28 AM
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Forget all that, just paint over the peeled stuff and with a different color so it will shine through, there's nothing like a multicolored house biggrin.gif

I have to water the garden today, how should I do that?
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John Clements 
Posted: 19-May-2007, 12:37 PM
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Drink a lot of water.


It’s my wife’s birthday, and I've run out of ideas, what should I do?
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Líadan Siofra 
Posted: 19-May-2007, 02:33 PM
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Get her some tools, fishing gear, etc, so you can use it if she doesn't want it. Just wrap it up real nice and give her a card, and she won't mind.

I want to get my own car, but don't have enough money for a good used one. What should I do?
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maisky 
Posted: 19-May-2007, 05:34 PM
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What to do? Steal a beamer! It is all the rage!

I like my young female neighbor, what should i do so i dont alert my wife?


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pflanary 
Posted: 21-May-2007, 11:33 AM
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Your wife will find out eventually, so why go to all the trouble to sneak around?

(BTW, love John Clements advice above.)


My office manager/secretary went home sick leaving me all alone in the office--what should I do?


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God then made man. The Italians for their beauty. The French for their cuisine. The Welsh for their voices. The Germans for their cars. And on and on until He looked at what He had created and said, "This is all very well, but no-one is having fun. I'll have to make an Irishman."
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Sekhmet 
Posted: 22-May-2007, 12:25 AM
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Work naked! Nobody will know...think of all the laughs you'll have answering the phone! Besides, housekeeping doesn't gossip, you'll be fine.

My daughter is getting to the age where it's time for "the talk". What should I tell her?


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maisky 
Posted: 22-May-2007, 06:27 AM
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Tell her that she can get all the information she needs by asking the boys at her school to explain it to her.

My youngest daughter is moving back in with us (for the 9th time). What rules should I give her?
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pflanary 
Posted: 22-May-2007, 08:30 AM
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No rules. Instead encourage her to dress sexy, go clubbing and date anyone she can get her hands on--maybe she will meet someone else she can live with.

My 40 lb. adult dog thinks she's a puppy. She bounces around, runs into my poor knees and over the cats and chews anything plastic (including my laptop cord) or that has a whiff of food on it--especially if its in the trash. What should I do?
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John Clements 
Posted: 22-May-2007, 09:49 AM
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It sounds to me like she needs a night out.

I’ve been painting the kitchen now, for what seems like a month, when will it end?

(On a side note: Have you noticed a tad of larceny, with maisky advice? I mean… stealing a car, and checking out the girl next door? Could it be… an Achilles heel)?
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maisky 
Posted: 22-May-2007, 10:07 AM
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QUOTE (pflanary @ 22-May-2007, 07:30 AM)
No rules.  Instead encourage her to dress sexy, go clubbing and date anyone she can get her hands on--maybe she will meet someone else she can live with.


I thought this was supposed to be BAD advise? unsure.gif This sounds GOOD!

Painting the kitchen to end? It wont end. It will go on forever...You have died and are in hell...Maybe if you kill a chicken in the middle of the kitchen it will help...be sure to spread the blood widely.

The IRS sent me back too much money...what should I do with it?
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pflanary 
Posted: 22-May-2007, 10:49 AM
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Spend it quickly before they ask for it back!
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John Clements 
Posted: 22-May-2007, 04:51 PM
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Of course you could spend the money, but I think that you should send it to me. I’ll invest it for you.

I just came into some money. I think I'll put it on: Let It Ride in the fifth, unless someone else has a better idea?
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