Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )










Reply to this topicStart new topicStart Poll

> Joys And Concerns
RobertH 
Posted: 18-Mar-2004, 09:47 PM
Quote Post

Member is Offline



Braveheart Member
******

Group: Celtic Nation
Posts: 136
Joined: 24-Dec-2003
ZodiacVine

Realm: Washington

male





Todd -

I'm far away from Detroit, but will certainly keep you in my prayers. I understand your position - I took retirement from the service to keep my kids in the same high school. Having been an Army Brat myself, I remember full well what it was like to switch high schools. Like you, though, I'd make any sacrifice for my kids.

Pax.
Robert
PMEmail Poster               
Top
CelticRoz 
Posted: 18-Mar-2004, 10:50 PM
Quote Post

Member is Offline



Roz
********

Group: Celtic Nation
Posts: 6,930
Joined: 09-Nov-2003
ZodiacAlder


female





Wow! Elspeth! Thank you for starting this thread! It has been wonderful to see people sharing and praying for each other.

I have a concern and praise as well. My mother was hit with a minor stroke this week. She has some internal bleeding going on that we don't know the whys about and she has some other issues as well. We know now what caused the stroke and they are working on that. She remains hospitalized and my sister in California is there by her hospital bed caring for her every need, bugging the heck out of the nurses on the ward as well. biggrin.gif Wow! I had no idea my baby sister was so assertive! Anyway, we are lucky in that it was a minor stroke as she is well aware of what is going on and can care for herself, carry on a conversation, despite the fact that she has some verbal limitations and the frustration to go with that. So that is what is going on in my life. Each day I talk with my mother she seems to get that much better. Still appreciate your prayers for healing and what actions I should take as I live out of state from the whole situation. Thanks! smile.gif
PMEmail PosterMy Photo Album               
Top
Elspeth 
Posted: 19-Mar-2004, 07:11 AM
Quote Post

Member is Offline



Celtic Guardian
Group Icon

Group: Wales
Posts: 2,216
Joined: 24-Jun-2003
ZodiacReed


female





Todd, I pray your job situation becomes settled with the least amount of anxiety. I'll refer you back to the scripture that started this thread -

Do not be anxious about anything, but by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving present your requests to God. And the peace which transcends all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. - Philippians 4:6 &7

I think maybe we should start every page of this thread with this. I know I was reminding myself of it just this morning. Actually, I was smacking my self upside the head with it. When will I learn?

And you are to be commended for putting the needs of your son first. We sometimes forget to tell each other that.

Rose, I am sorry your mother is ill but glad your sister is able to be with her. My prayers are with her and with you. It is often so hard to know what to do isn't it?

My wish for all of you, today and always, is the peace which transcends all understanding.

Elspeth


--------------------
Compassion is the sometimes fatal capacity for feeling what it is like inside somebody else's skin. It is the knowledge that there can never really be any peace and joy for me until there is peace and joy finally for you too.
- Frederick Buechner



If society prospers at the expense of the intangibles,
how can it be called progress?

-LLP
PMEmail Poster My Photo Album               
Top
CelticRoz 
Posted: 19-Mar-2004, 07:27 AM
Quote Post

Member is Offline



Roz
********

Group: Celtic Nation
Posts: 6,930
Joined: 09-Nov-2003
ZodiacAlder


female





Hi Elspeth! Thank you for your kind prayers! It is soooooooo hard to know what to do. I feel helpless either way. If I go now I know there is nothing I can do and if I stay here all I can do is pray. I am thinking that maybe I will go to California in April when my mother is home and I can spend quality time with her and help her get her memory back as much as possible. I can only stay a week but would be better than nothing,don't you think? unsure.gif
PMEmail PosterMy Photo Album               
Top
Elspeth 
Posted: 19-Mar-2004, 08:53 AM
Quote Post

Member is Offline



Celtic Guardian
Group Icon

Group: Wales
Posts: 2,216
Joined: 24-Jun-2003
ZodiacReed


female





If your sister is with her now, that sounds like a good plan to go in a few weeks. You mother will benefit from whatever time you can be with her and your sister will probably be ready for a break by then too.

Keep us posted.

PMEmail Poster My Photo Album               
Top
gaberlunzie 
Posted: 19-Mar-2004, 06:29 PM
Quote Post

Member is Offline



Celtic Guardian
********

Group: Celtic Nation
Posts: 6,958
Joined: 31-Aug-2003
ZodiacVine


female





I?m going to post a really LONG post, so don?t say you have not been warned! You all know that English isn?t my first language , so please, don?t mind a clumsy style or mistakes?thank you!
It wasn?t a careless decision to write down this story. It is a story of horror and pain as well as hope and joy.
Reading this thread has been very helpful for me. Yes, I am one of those Elspeth asked you to pray for, those who feel not comfortable enough posting very personal things. It worked. Really. I felt so terribly empty and lost ? and now I?m gaining hope again!
I hope my story might encourage someone who is possibly fighting the hardest fight in his life ? to continue fighting. Why? Because there is always a way out for those who really WANT it.

Now, this is a survivor?s story.

I was born in a very small village, where I grew up the first few years of my life in a wonderful, loud and warm ? hearted family with parents, aunts and uncles, cousins and my granny, this woman with the most loving heart of all. It was like paradise and I was the happiest child on earth. I still have this warm and happy feeling only by remembering those five years.
Then all changed all of a sudden, over night ? completely unexpected for me ? my parents whom I both loved dearly separated. My Mum and me moved to another county, about 600 miles away?with the man my Mum had fallen in love with.
I felt totally uprooted. Nobody explained me why this all happened?probably my Mum couldn?t as she had to manage her own life now.
My brother and my sister were born. I loved them and still do.
I was never allowed to see or to speak about my Dad again. I missed him so much ? but I wasn?t asked. I just had to obey.
All in all we had a life not too bad at all. I?ve always been ?this other man?s child? for my step ? father which was hard to live with. There wasn?t anyone I could have talked about my concerns, so I learnt to get along alone very early in my life.

It happened when I was 12 years old. The ?Unspeakable? which nearly killed me. From this date until the age of 19 I had been sexually abused by my step ? father.
I do not want to go into details. Just that I had been an unsuspecting child at the age of 12. Scared to death ? I was helpless.
I knew my Mum loved that man. She never was a strong woman. And my brother and my sister?they were so young and innocent. I loved them all so much. I couldn?t tell anyone. I couldn?t tell and destroy this family. Their future. So I decided to be the only victim in the family. To be silent.
I felt guilty. Something had to be wrong with me because this happened to me. I felt guilty because I couldn?t defend myself against that man?
My soul was dying, piece by piece. I became speechless. I was sure some of my relatives knew what was going on but they all closed their eyes, turned away because ?it couldn?t be what shouldn?t be??
When I stood nearby the railroad tracks ready to jump when the train approached because I couldn?t bear it all any longer, absolutely without a spark of hope or strength, I felt this ?something??I can?t describe it?all of a sudden.
I thought there was nothing left at all ? but it WAS! I decided to be a survivor! Though I knew I would have to suffer the more I decided to fight. I knew it would be like walking on a sword?s blade with naked feet, cutting my feet painfully by each step ? but I never stopped walking since. ?It is MY life and I don?t give it away ? I?ll survive !?
It worked though it took me years.

Years later I got married. Loved ? what an indescribable feeling. What a joy to be able to FEEL again!
My children were born ? purest joy and happiness!
15 years later my husband left the family over night (literally) to live with another woman. My whole life broke down once again. My children were scared ? and became sick. Mentally ill. They both tried to commit suicide ? I found them in the very last second.
We managed it. We crossed an ocean of tears, pain and despair to the shores of hope, confidence, strength and love.
The worst pain I ever felt in my life was to see my children so much in pain and suffering so badly. During this time I often lay on my knees begging God to help them. I never asked for myself but for them.
I begged and often cursed HIM badly in one breath.

We lost our home, car, money, all what had made our life until then and recently I lost my job as well because of economical reasons.
We started at ?Zero? and built up a new life. We don?t have much but we have all we need. We are able to save a few coins every month for our trip to the U.S., a dream we share and will be able to fulfil in about 2 or 3 years.
My sons are wonderful and strong young men now. Sometimes still fighting their demons as I also do but strong enough to go their own way.
Today I?m honorary working with abused kids and adults. Because I am a survivor and I KNOW!

Today I know it was the horrifying times I went through which made me strong. Strong enough to lead my children through their illness and hard times.
I know it wasn?t right to curse God because what happened was committed and made by men and not because of HIS will.
And so it is a story of joy finally. We?re doing fine. We?re having the best time of our life now. We learnt to live it consciously and to be content.
I do not hate people ? especially men ? and I didn?t end in embitterment. I love my life, I love to laugh and I?m curious what is still waiting for me around the next corner.
A lot to be grateful for.

And this is why I told this story, what I ask you:

1) Whatever it is you are going through, PLEASE, please, NEVER GIVE UP!

2) There is always a way out! It is always worth living this life and no matter how long it takes to get through pain and sorrow ? there is a way.

3) All you need is given to you while walking; strength, courage?but WALK?step by step and step!

4) Experience is not what happens to you but what you do with what happens to you!

5) Don?t say you can?t. I was nothing; no strength, no emotions, no self ? confidence, no courage ? and I did it though?and so can everybody, for sure!

I?ve experienced it all and I know it works!

My concern is ? I feel very exhausted at soul concerning my relationship to God. I can?t pray actually. I just can?t. So I need others praying for me. I had given up with God. But this is a very tricky thing?it never worked completely. I didn?t REALLY loose faith at all. I really wish to live in harmony with HIM again. Prayers are mighty ? will you?

Finally I?d like to say I never told these very personal experiences in public and I hesitated quite a while to do. But this thread is wonderful, started by a wonderful people with wonderful people posting. So I finally did. I thank you all!
And see, this is a joy again! smile.gif


--------------------
"Now here's my secret", said the fox, "it is very simple. It is only with ones heart that one can see clearly. What is essential is invisible to the eye."

("The Little Prince" by Antoine de Saint-Exupery)


"The soul would have no rainbow, if the eye had no tears."
(Native American Proverb)
PMEmail PosterMy Photo Album               
Top
Elspeth 
Posted: 19-Mar-2004, 06:33 PM
Quote Post

Member is Offline



Celtic Guardian
Group Icon

Group: Wales
Posts: 2,216
Joined: 24-Jun-2003
ZodiacReed


female





God Bless you gaberlunzie for your courage. You are one remarkable woman. It is an honor to uphold you in prayer. We are here for you.
PMEmail Poster My Photo Album               
Top
maggiemahone1 
Posted: 19-Mar-2004, 06:59 PM
Quote Post

Member is Offline





High Queen of Ireland
********

Group: Celtic Nation
Posts: 3,596
Joined: 03-Jan-2002
ZodiacIvy

Realm: Southern West Virginia

female





Oh gabby, you and your children have went thru so much and still you see light at the end of the tunnel. You have overcome by the Grace of God. His Grace is Sufficient.

IICorinthians Chapter 12 verse 9 King James Edition

And he said unto me,My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

maggiemahone1
PMEmail Poster                View My Space Profile.
Top
tsargent62 
Posted: 20-Mar-2004, 11:43 AM
Quote Post

Member is Offline



Lord Socknoggle
********

Group: Celtic Nation
Posts: 1,994
Joined: 17-Nov-2003
ZodiacBirch

Realm: Lake Orion, Michigan

male





Gabs, thank you so very much for sharing your story with us. I hope that you were helped by sharing it. I know that it helps me to talk about things. Just wrap your arms around yourself and give yourself a hug for me. I will pray for you and your children. May God bless you and yours.

Todd
PMEmail Poster               
Top
gaberlunzie 
Posted: 20-Mar-2004, 12:17 PM
Quote Post

Member is Offline



Celtic Guardian
********

Group: Celtic Nation
Posts: 6,958
Joined: 31-Aug-2003
ZodiacVine


female





I thank you all so much. I feel deeply moved by your words and by your readiness to include my family and me in your prayers!
I KNOW God loves me. I KNOW he has been with me, especially in my darkest moments. But to know and to feel something is quite a different thing. My soul is tired out.
I believe in the might of prayers and so I thank you from my deepest heart for your words, hugs and prayers! smile.gif
PMEmail PosterMy Photo Album               
Top
Siobhan Blues 
Posted: 20-Mar-2004, 03:16 PM
Quote Post

Member is Offline



Celtic Guardian
********

Group: Celtic Nation
Posts: 1,127
Joined: 25-Nov-2003
ZodiacAsh


female





Gaberlunzie,

I've shed tears upon reading your story this Saturday afternoon... my selfish thoughts & minute complaints evaporate at the knowledge of what a terrible thing you've endured. I know a woman who was a childhood victim of incest and at the age of 58 she has just now gotten past the rage and the resentment towards both her father and to the few family members who she told what was happening but did not believe her. I thank God that she has come this far without killing herself; it was a genuine concern not that long ago. These kinds of emotional wounds run very deep, and are very slow to heal.

I am so proud of you for that list of things learned at the end of your post. You are indeed a survivor, you are someone whose story will give strength to others. If there is anything positive to come from the heartache you've endured, it is that those who read this who find themselves in a similiar situation will know that it is possible to come through the trial.

My prayer for you is that God will do for you what He did for me: let you see that all around you there is evidence of His love for you. Relax, stop trying to find the strength to pray the right way... just sit still awhile, breathe deeply, be quiet and wait for Him to speak... prayer is a dialogue, prayer is hearing as well as asking sometimes, and some of the most awesome experiences I have ever had have been when I listened. Sometimes God is actually waiting for us to slow down long enough to hear Him!
How proud the Father is of you right now, for having the courage to share with us this traumatic story of yours. Thank you.


--------------------
"All that is gold does not glitter, Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost.
From the ashes a fire shall be woken, A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken, The crownless again shall be king..."
user posted image

SGGardner Art

www.SouthernShireFarm.com
PM               
Top
CelticRoz 
Posted: 20-Mar-2004, 06:01 PM
Quote Post

Member is Offline



Roz
********

Group: Celtic Nation
Posts: 6,930
Joined: 09-Nov-2003
ZodiacAlder


female





Oh, Gabby! Thank you for having the courage to share! I know this must have been very difficult for you. What all Siobhan said I could not share any better. You are in my thoughts and prayers. You have overcome some pretty strong and horrible experiences. And you anger towards God is very common and natural, but He was probably there for you more than you know. Hard for people to believe, I know. He made you strong and a source of strength for your children for a reason.........which says to me He is in control of your life. Unfortunately, bad things happen to good people. It is just part of living in this world that exists of both evil and good. You take care and I am here if you want to talk. hug.gif
PMEmail PosterMy Photo Album               
Top
gaberlunzie 
Posted: 21-Mar-2004, 05:29 AM
Quote Post

Member is Offline



Celtic Guardian
********

Group: Celtic Nation
Posts: 6,958
Joined: 31-Aug-2003
ZodiacVine


female





Siobhan, thank you so much for taking interest!
I didn't want anyone to shed tears, not out of pity at least. I mean to know yours were meant a touch different. Thank you.
It's a "happy end - story" . You are right; I posted it to share but also as a sort of encouragement. You know when I spoke about that "something" I felt at the point of my life I meant as a point of no return - it was God who was with me. It wasn't my own strength because I had none left...it was GIVEN to me.

Rose, you are right, he has been with me much more often than I realised. And still is.

I wish I had the words to express what I'm feeling knowing to be in your thoughts and prayers, all of you wonderful folk!
You know when it turned out good for me, giving sense to what happened to me? When I stopped asking the big "WHY" and asked "what FOR" instead.

So much changed in my life and I can feel it is given a certain direction. I'm not able to see where to go yet - and this is what I had to ask HIM, to show me the way. If I only could. Isn't it strange? I crossed a hughe mountain just to stumle over a piece of stone and get stucked...not able to manage it!

Thank you for your advice, Siobhan. I will try to calm down, to sit still and to try to LISTEN. I wish so urgently to feel HIS peace again. To FEEL HIM again. But perhaps I should stop thinking of what I WANT but to LISTEN to what HE wants me to do.

I thank you all so much!
PMEmail PosterMy Photo Album               
Top
CelticRoz 
Posted: 21-Mar-2004, 06:12 AM
Quote Post

Member is Offline



Roz
********

Group: Celtic Nation
Posts: 6,930
Joined: 09-Nov-2003
ZodiacAlder


female





Gabby, just take one day at a time! That is all we are asked to do anyway and NO more.
PMEmail PosterMy Photo Album               
Top
gaberlunzie 
Posted: 21-Mar-2004, 06:31 AM
Quote Post

Member is Offline



Celtic Guardian
********

Group: Celtic Nation
Posts: 6,958
Joined: 31-Aug-2003
ZodiacVine


female





You're certainly right, Rose. I've been able to do it for quite a time before I started pondering again what will be tomorrow...and the day after tomorrow...
You know, it has a lot to do with the fact that I'm bringing up my sons all alone for quite a while now and that it is not easy to decide all family affairs and things concerning their future all alone as well.
But you're right, I know! Thank you, dear. smile.gif
PMEmail PosterMy Photo Album               
Top
0 User(s) are reading this topic (0 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:

Reply to this topic Quick ReplyStart new topicStart Poll


 








© Celtic Radio Network
Celtic Radio is a TorontoCast radio station that is based in Canada.
TorontoCast provides music license coverage through SOCAN.
All rights and trademarks reserved. Read our Privacy Policy.








[Home] [Top]