Oh my... your post brought back some painful, very dark memories for me. I struggled with mild depression for several years but the birth of my second child triggered a full-blown case that led to the darkest two years of my life. My faith was shaky too, my dear, and faith was in the end the only thing I found myself hanging on to in the deepest end of the pit.

But long story short, it was Jesus Christ who responded to my angry wounded words of 'where are You when I need You'. He was there, He kept his promise to never leave, and led me out of the pit in the most wonderful, odd way! That's a tale for another day.

Let me tell you a truth you need to hear: you are strong and you are a great mother. You can do this. I felt such a searing doubt as to my ability to be a good mom, but my doubts were self-inflicted and a lie. We are stronger than we know, and in your case two children so close in age are going to be the one thing that will prove your strength in the long run. God really doesn't give us anything beyond our capabilities and will give us strength and guidance and courage if we seek. And listen! And take action. Trust Him.

You listen to me: you can do this. I know it. Keep in touch. I'll try to come here more often and look for your posts.

Susan Gardner

Oh, I didn't mean I befriend people in order to witness to them - I meant when I make friends, that's when the opportunity to witness arises. I'd never set out to befriend someone just so I could talk about Jesus, that does seem artificial.

We are avid "24" fans, and I kinda had a crush on Bill Buchanan 'cause he reminds me of my husband: the grey hair, height and build, those nice eyes. He was calm and cool, a voice of reason (like my husband can calm me down when I go ballistic) And Bill had such a great voice, I loved to hear him talk.

But then he got killed off the other week! I nearly started crying!

Good thing hubby is still healthy and here.

Susan

"Age is just a number"!

I feel like 35, but wake up some mornings with my knees grumbling at me "nooo, you're not 35 any more kiddo"... But even with some health issues blooming in these 50+ years I still enjoy each day and strive to make the best of them all. Since we moved to the country I scowl less, grumble less and feel less tension so I suspect that's going to help me live longer.

The suburbs can wear ya down! Glad we got out.

Susan

Who looks forward to the day when she has grandchildren and they call her "Granny"!!

Aw, I wish I had a mule! Grandpa Gore had one as long as he was working his farm, and they were always the sweetest things to be so big (I was only 9 yr.s old so they looked really tall!) About two years ago we finally moved to the country and now have two wonderful old retired show horses so I'm enjoying our equine days providing a good retirement home for Dee and Spirit.

Ditto the java too. It takes two cups for me to make a cohesive sentence in the morning, three cups if I have to step out of the house and be actually civil to my fellow human beings.

Welcome!

Honey, I ditched my high heels years ago. I despised them anyway but after seeing what years of wearing high-heeled, pointy toe shoes did to my poor 73-yr. old mama's feet I said nooo, that's not going to happen to me.
She has a bunions and hammer-toe, and her feet are literally deformed now to the point that surgery is going to be necessary when she can't put up with the pain any more. And the podiatrist says heels and pointy toe shoes are to blame.

I confess I don't mind pantyhose, cause those with the control top help control my tummy.


SB