Political Jokes And Humor...

[scottish2]

You have got to love this quote of John Adams 2nd president of the US

QUOTE

"I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is called a disgrace, two a law firm, and three or more become a congress." -John Adams

[Swanny]

Hey Highlander!! Read my post in the "activism" thread before you cruise through the next series. As I noted, you announcing your candidacy has indeed prompted some new jokes in THIS thread.

{Swanny} Hey Highlander!!! Do you know the difference between a politician and a strong-armed robber?

{Highlander} Why no, Swanny. What is the difference between a politician and a strong-armed robber?

{Swanny} The Robber uses a gun.

[Swanny]

Hey Highlander!! Do you know why a rattlesnake refuses to bit a politician?








Professional courtesy

[Swanny]

Hey Highlander!! Do you know why I never went into politics?








I couldn't grow the damned dorsal fin.

[Swanny]

Hey Highlander!!!!

Do you know what you have if there are one thousand politicians at the bottom of the sea?









A pretty good start.

[scottish2]

This was in my local paper this past Sunday and how true it is



Attached Image. (Click thumbnail to expand)

[Swanny]

A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost. She lowered her
altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him," Excuse
me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago,
but I don't know where I am."

The man consulted his portable GPS and replied, "You're in a hot air
balloon approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet
above sea level. You are 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and
100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude."

She rolled her eyes and said, "You must be a Republican."

"I am," replied the man. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically
correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and I'm
still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help to me."

The man smiled and responded, "You must be a Democrat."

"I am," replied the balloonist. "How did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're
going. You've risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air.
You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect ME
to solve your problem. You're in EXACTLY the same position you were in
before we met, but somehow now, it's MY fault."

[Shadows]

The biggest political joke of all is the "people?" who are running or should I say ruining the world today. Those who think that we need protection from ourselves and make laws so obsurd that it has every one of our freedom loving ancesters doing flips in the grave!!!

[scottish2]

Here's a good example of a stupid law. Find more at the links below.

http://www.stupidlaws.com/animals/iow_horshyd.html

QUOTE

Stop that Black Beauty! Country: USA In Marshalltown, Iowa, horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants.

http://www.stupidlaws.com/

[Jimmy Carbomb]

QUOTE (Swanny @ Jul 4 2003, 03:34 AM)

You're in EXACTLY the same position you were in before we met, but somehow now, it's MY fault."

Okay... THAT'S FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dang Swanny... keep swingin' for the fences!!!!!!

[scottish2]

http://www.democrats.org/truth/twister.html?s=demnews