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| Celtic Radio Community > Philosophy & Science > How To Beat Up Your Wife |
| Posted by: Aon_Daonna 17-Jan-2004, 05:28 PM |
| http://opinion.telegraph.co.uk/opinion/main.jhtml?xml=/opinion/2004/01/17/do1701.xml |
| Posted by: Aon_Daonna 17-Jan-2004, 06:57 PM |
| btw, read it before you flog me for posting it! |
| Posted by: Haldur 17-Jan-2004, 07:28 PM |
| At first I thought, "What?!"...but, after reading this article I am quite intrigued by it. I couldn't imagine striking my wife (or any female, for that matter) but the Muslim man in that article seemed slightly psychotic, I think it was the serious tone he had. Anyways, very thought provoking article. |
| Posted by: A Shrule Egan 17-Jan-2004, 07:51 PM |
| Aon, I think we all know you better than that. I can think of a couple of my 6'4" New York City cousins who could explain a few things to Mr. Mustafa!!!  |
| Posted by: Aon_Daonna 17-Jan-2004, 09:22 PM |
hehe  Well, I liked the bit when he explained that it wouldn't work in a western civilisation *grins* |
| Posted by: andylucy 17-Jan-2004, 11:31 PM |
| If I have learned anything in my years on this earth, it is that one should never, ever strike a woman, no matter how richly she may deserve it. A man will forget about it and go to sleep, but the woman will never forget, and won't need to sleep. It is at that point that her large iron skillet makes contact with his kneecaps. Just my tuppence. Andy |
| Posted by: Fiddler 18-Jan-2004, 08:08 AM |
Two wives so far and never had to strike either. A gentle but firm tug on the choker chain usually gets the job done.  |
| Posted by: Aon_Daonna 18-Jan-2004, 03:20 PM |
| just the kneecaps, andy? *grins* |
| Posted by: maggiemahone1 18-Jan-2004, 06:03 PM |
| My husband beats me up every morning! Some people have some really weird ideas about marriage. andylucy, "no matter how much a woman might deserve it." You better watch out, I have more than 1 cast iron skillet. I also have a nice big fat rolling pin. maggiemahone1 |
| Posted by: Aon_Daonna 18-Jan-2004, 06:08 PM |
| mmh.. I think a good old fashioned cast iron pan is ideal for the job.. the large ones of course. A good slam with that should heal every man of that notion! |
| Posted by: andylucy 18-Jan-2004, 11:06 PM | ||
Man can't walk, man can't run, man can't get away! That's just the beginning.Actually, I was just discussing it with my sergeant, one of the old superseded laws in Kentucky, but still on the books, is that a man may beat his wife with a stick, provided the stick is no longer than 3 feet long and no bigger in diameter than his thumb. Just some food for thought. Just my tuppence. Ducking now as the ladies respond, also keeping a wary eye on maggiemahone1's large rolling pin. Those things hurt. Andy |
| Posted by: Aon_Daonna 19-Jan-2004, 02:31 PM |
| hehe.. well there's alot of weird laws everywhere.. what about the one where it's forbidden to carry your wife after 5pm?? I used to have a book with alot of them somewhere. I just can't remember where that was from. |
| Posted by: Madadh 20-Jan-2004, 05:36 AM |
| When I was in the Army (many moons ago) a young lady used an Iron skillet in a most interesting fashion. Her young husband had come home from a field exercise and having had a rough time while there decided to take his frustration out on his wife. The next morning she awoke him to breakfast in bed, ..... Eggs, Sausage, Bacon, and the Iron Skillet neatly turn over onto his lower belly. I do not believe that he ever touched her in anger again. Cheers |
| Posted by: maggiemahone1 20-Jan-2004, 07:28 AM |
| It's a wonder she didn't hit him upside the head with it. That would have been my first instinct. From the Book of Woman. A woman can use her cast iron skillet on a man's head at least once a month more if necessary. Only a hit to make him see just a few stars. If this doesn't seem to help woman can hit man a little harder. Then if man doesn't learn his lesson she may hit him had enough to lay him flat on his back. Then she may sit on him with cast iron skillet handy until he promises her whatever she wants. Book of Woman Section A Written by Women of the Universemaggiemahone1 |
| Posted by: RavenWing 20-Jan-2004, 08:18 AM |
| I-Idon't know what to think of this article. |
| Posted by: Aon_Daonna 20-Jan-2004, 12:20 PM |
well.. I'm very sure that there are arabic women who have their man in their pocket...  |
| Posted by: silverdragon 20-Jan-2004, 02:21 PM | ||
Skillet? Fooey! Now which of my weapons collection should I use? The dull Native American flint knife? The 19th century cavalry saber? Or, how about the replica of Arwen's sword?  This is undoubtedly why my husband sticks to verbal abuse only...  |
| Posted by: Aon_Daonna 20-Jan-2004, 02:53 PM |
| hehe, I think my BF can relate to that.. we have some nice broadswords standing around, some late 18th century rapiers and a dragoon saber.. but even better, I have a large collection of japanese kitchenknives which are neat and very very sharp.. |
| Posted by: silverdragon 20-Jan-2004, 05:05 PM |
| BTW, Aon Daonna, COOL new avatar. |
| Posted by: Aon_Daonna 20-Jan-2004, 05:11 PM |
| thanks =) |
| Posted by: Madadh 21-Jan-2004, 05:29 AM |
| maggiemahone1 It's a wonder she didn't hit him upside the head with it. That would have been my first instinct. [QUOTE] You missed the subtleties, she cooked the whole breakfast in that skillet and then overturned the entire contents on him, food, grease, and hot skillet. He suffered more that a quick splat to the head. |
| Posted by: valpal 59 01-Feb-2004, 07:54 PM |
OH MY  |
| Posted by: Kiwi Gael 01-Feb-2004, 08:22 PM |
| Any bloke who lays a hand on his lady, should be strung up!!!!!!!!!!! These cowards make me my blood really boil. Women are the most precious, and gorgeous  (woo-man!), of all God's handiwork and they should be treated like absolute royalty!  |
| Posted by: maggiemahone1 01-Feb-2004, 08:37 PM | ||
My thoughts exactly, Kiwi Gael. Especially the gorgeous and precious part and treated like royalty. Just call me...The High Queen of Ireland!  maggiemahone1 |
| Posted by: tsargent62 12-Feb-2004, 11:49 AM |
| I love my wife dearly. I love her more than my own life. I would never dream of hitting her for 2 reasons. 1) My aforementioned love. 2) Her brothers  If I ever harmed my dear Maria (pronounced MAR-ee-ah, not mar-EE-ah), I would not be safe anywhere on the face of the planet! I jest not!  |
| Posted by: Knightly Knight 13-Apr-2004, 09:38 PM | ||||
AndyLucy thanks for your post, this is where we get the term Rule Of Thumb
Kiwi, when it comes to the article I agree with you. This is just plain barbarism However, and there is always a however in life, so read on Kiwi At my house heres how it goes, First Ive Never hit my wife.Ive also Never hit a woman However, and there is always a however in life, Heres what I taught my children. NEVER hit a woman unless she REALLY NEEDS IT. There are some women who are more vicious than a badger. More venomous than a snake. More Ornery than a Missouri Mule. If a woman is attacking you and when you call her to relent and she still attacks,try to be quick and move, If she wont relent for any reason CLEAN HER CLOCK. My daughter has knocked out men and women who just plain wanted to fight. My son has never been in this situation. Im proud of them both. 1 Keep your hands to yourself ( your Mama taught you that) 2 If someone else cant abide by rule one, be sure to lay hands on them quickly even if they want to hide behind their non existent femininity. If she wants to fight like a Man I can give her a Manly Thump My wife is my special sweetheart of 28 years, we can argue under rule number 1 we have never gotten to rule number 2. Being a Feminine being she has a brain and also many charms. There is no need for violence. Being a Masculine being I can use my brain and arms for loving. Kiwi there are some so called women who can corner you, and kick the living life right out of you. Keep your eyes open or at least a window near.  |
| Posted by: maisky 14-Apr-2004, 09:03 AM | ||
HEY!! You are the flogger, not the floggee!.  |
| Posted by: balisodare 16-Apr-2004, 02:01 PM |
| I always thought that the term "rule of thumb" came from the process of beer brewing before thermometers were made? At any rate... the only thing I have issues with about the article is how the author mentioned dealing with his wife. There's just something about passive aggressive tendancies that bother me more than the idea of spousal abuse (strangely enough). Also, I have an issue of contention with Rule #2...but that's a completely different story  Cheers  |
| Posted by: Blue_Rogue 16-Apr-2004, 09:18 PM |
| Well all I know, is that I was brought up with chivilrey. A man should never hit a woman, period. When I was a teenager, I was at a theater one time when (and I don't know way) this guy slapped a pregnant woman and knocked her down. Man was that a specticle to see, EVERYONE in the whole theater got up and went after this guy, I mean that theater clear of people. The guy made it to his vehicle. It was a Chevy Suburban, mid to late 70's model, buy the time the guy was able to leave the parking lot there was not straight piece of metal or unbroken glass on the whole vehicle. I'm sure that was a lesson he'll never forget, hell, I'll never forget it!!! Can you imagine trying to explain that one to your insurance company?? |
| Posted by: Knightly Knight 20-Apr-2004, 05:30 PM |
Blue Rogue, My hats off to you. Heres a beer for you  .May you never be so unfortunate as to having a woman who thinks you are her punching bag. Look for the window!!  |
| Posted by: Jaxom 21-Apr-2004, 04:50 PM | ||
This is where the saying "Rule of thumb" comes from, and it is still a law in Britan along with the law that makes it illegal to push a perambulator on the pavement.  perambulator = Babycarrage pavement = Sidewalk |
| Posted by: maisky 23-Apr-2004, 04:59 AM |
Jaxom, thanks for the info, and thanks for translating it into "English".  |