Twas the night before elections And all through the town Tempers were flaring Emotions all up and down! I in my bathrobe With a cat in my lap Had cut off the TV Tired of political crap.
When all of a sudden There arose such a noise I peered out of my window Saw Obama and his boys
They had come for my wallet They wanted my pay To give to the others Who had not worked a day!
He snatched up my money And quick as a wink Jumped back on his bandwagon As I gagged from the stink
He then rallied his henchmen Who were pulling his cart I could tell they were out To tear my country apart!
On Fannie, on Freddie On Biden and Ayers! On Acorn, On Pelosi He screamed at the pairs!
They took off for his cause And as he flew out of sight I heard him laugh at the nation Who wouldn't stand up and fight!
So I leave you to think On this one final note- IF YOU DONT WANT SOCIALISM GET OUT AND VOTE!!!!
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"Nature always wears the colors of the spirit." -
Ralph Waldo Emerson
Forget not that the earth delights to feel your bare feet and the winds long to play with your hair.
K. Gibran
In every walk with nature one receives far more than he seeks.
John Muir
"Climb the mountains and get their good tidings. Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees. The winds will blow their own freshness into you, and the storms their energy, while cares will drop off like autumn leaves."
You know you are old when the only pot you get excited about is your coffee pot.
You Know You Are Addicted To Coffee If... • You sleep with your eyes open. • You have to watch videos in fast-forward. • The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake. • You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using the timer • The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you. • The nurse needs a stop watch to take your pulse. • You grind your coffee beans in your mouth. • You can jump-start your car without cables. • You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in. • You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers. • People get dizzy just watching you. • Instant coffee takes too long. • You channel-surf faster without a remote. • You short out motion detectors. • You introduce your spouse as your coffeemate. • You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore. • You answer the door before people knock. • Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil. • You have a bumper sticker that says: "Coffee drinkers are good in the sack." • You can type sixty words per minute... with your feet. • When someone says: How are you? You say: Good to the last drop • You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
Coffee Joke
This little grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning. He had made her coffee. She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her life. When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green army men in the cup. She said, "Honey, what are these army men doing in my coffee?" Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV 'The best part of waking up is soldiers in your cup!'"
Top Ten Ways I like My Coffee 10. Hot 9. Hair-free 8. Non-crunchy 7. One barrel at a time 6. Doughnut-enabled 5. So caffeinated it jumps out of the cup and slaps me 4. Sucked straight out of the filter 3. Intravenously 2. Strong enough to sit up and bark Rowf! 1. With a 12-course breakfast.
A man was walking along a sidewalk in a very gentle manner, almost as if he were walking on eggs. Two doctors, also on foot, were across the street. They spotted the man and began to discuss his condition.
"Prostrate trouble," said the first doctor.
"Oh no, not at all. That's a case of hemorrhoids if ever I saw one", said the other.
They tossed it back and forth until one of them suggested going over to talk to the man.
"Mister, this gentleman and I are both doctors," said one, "and if you'll pardon our intrusion, I figured you have a bad prostrate problem, but my colleague thought it to be hemorrhoids. Might you state the problem so that we can solve our little dilemma?"
"Well", said the man, "all three of us were wrong. I thought it was gas."
(Every year, teacher Mike Wilson of Ballwin, Missouri has his elementary-school students study the presidential election process in America. From the resulting essays and exam papers, Wilson has culled some gems of youthful insight and wisdom, not to mention skepticism worth of a politics-weary adult.)
* Did you ever think what I used to think about candidates running neck-and-neck? Well it is not true.
* Calling a person a runner-up is the polite way of saying you lost.
* The difference between a king and a president is that a king is the son of his father but a president is not.
* What I learned about elections is that we aren't really getting to elect the president. It is some people in a college who get to. I have not decided what to do about it yet but I am not going to just sit around.
* It is possible to get the majority of electoral votes without getting the majority of popular votes. Anyone who can ever understand how this works gets to be president.
* Some of our presidents never did much else and are famous only because they became president.
* The more I think about trying to run for president the less I think of it.
* The president has the power to appoint and disappoint the members of his cabinet.
* Much has been said about balancing the budget. It has been found that the budget is more talkable than balanceable.
* The campaign is when the candidate tells what he stand for and the election is when the votes tell if they can stand for his being elected.
* Actually, elections are different from politics. Elections come and go while politics are with us all the time.
* The winning candidate is elected and inoculated.
* In January, the president makes his Inaugural Address after he has been sworn at.
* Once he is elected, sometimes the president has to work 24 hours a day until he finds out what he is supposed to do.
* The nominees are usually called candidates or campaigners although I have heard them called other things.
* One of the strictest rules is all dark horses running for president must be people.
* Popular votes tell who is the most popular. Electoral votes tell who is the most elected.
* Heredity is a bad thing in politics because it gets us kings instead of presidents.
* A caucus is something people vote in. Sort of a small booth.
* An overwhelming favorite is a candidate that often comes over to the convention and whelms the delegates.
* The jobs of delegates is to resent their states.
* Noncommittal is to be able to talk and talk without saying anything.
* When the radio mentions a landslide, cross your fingers and hope it is talking about an election.
* A dark horse is a candidate that the delegates don't know enough about to dislike yet.
* Political science is to try to figure out what makes candidates act that way.
* A split ticket is when you don't like any of them on the ticket so you tear it up.
* When they talk about the most promising presidential candidate, they mean the one who can think of the most things to promise.
* Elephants and donkeys never fought until politics came along.
* Political strategy is when you don't let people know you have run out of ideas and keep shouting anyway.
* A candidate should always renounce his words carefully.
* We are learning how to make our election results known quicker and quicker. It is our campaigns we are having trouble getting any shorter.
* Universal suffrage means that even the illegible get to vote.
* One of the mainest rules of campaigning is you are not allowed to go on a whistle-stop tour without a train.
* Politician is the bawling out name for a candidate you don't like.
* Speaking of defeat, candidates are told never to.
* Campaigns give us a great deal of happiness by their finally ending.
Canada's Preparedness & Readiness Plan > > -November/December 2008- > > "Poor people have been voting for Democrats > for the last 50 years, and they are still poor!!!!" > > - Charles Barkley-
Attached Image. (Click thumbnail to expand)
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"He is your friend, your partner, your defender, your dog. You are his life, his love, his leader. He will be yours, faithful and true, to the last beat of his heart.
Canada's Preparedness & Readiness Plan > > -November/December 2008- > > "Poor people have been voting for Democrats > for the last 50 years, and they are still poor!!!!" > > - Charles Barkley-
The quote from Charles Barkley is the simplest statement of fact that I have seen!
Having given it some idle thought, Ecuador does not look too bad. The exchange rate is favorable as are the firearms laws. Unfortunately one of their neighbors is Columbia (drug cartels)
Canadian MP Stockwell Day, a Canadian Government MP sits in his office and out of boredom, decides to see what's in his old filing cabinet. He pokes through the contents and comes across an old brass lamp. "This will look nice on my mantelpiece," he decides, and takes it home with him.
While polishing the lamp, Steven Harper, a genie appears and grants him three wishes. "I wish for an ice cold blue pepsi right now!" He gets his Pepsi-Blue and drinks it.
Now that he can think more clearly, he states his second wish. "I wish to be on an island where beautiful nymphomaniacs reside." Suddenly he is on an island with gorgeous females eyeing him lustfully.
He tells Genie Steven Harper his third and last wish: "I wish I'd never have to work ever again."
When the husband finally died his wife put the usual death notice in the paper, but added that he died of gonorrhea.
No sooner were the papers delivered when a good friend of the family phoned and complained bitterly, "You know very well that he died of diarrhea, not gonorrhea."
Replied the widow, "I nursed him night and day so of course I know he died of diarrhea. But I thought it would be better for posterity to remember him as a great lover rather than the big pooh he always was."
Slàinte,
Patch
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