Posted by Nocturnaline on Feb 7th, 2007 9:05 PM

I dream up a lot these times...
Making a fresh start is not so easy, i have the impression that whatever are my good resolutions are, i'm unable to observe the promises i make to myself...
Finally nothing really change, i wonder if one day i will manage to become better than i am... It's not that i'm a huge sinner, but the most punishing for me, is to confront always the same situations and to not find the good way to not reenact the same mistakes...
It tends to give me a self-image which is disappointing...
I just hope that one day i would find the good way...

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Posted by Nocturnaline on Feb 5th, 2007 10:34 PM

Melancholy has reached my soul... i don't really know why, but i feel a little bit bad, as if something is insinuating my mind, and little by little is eating away my good mood... Even thinking of good things, i still feel sad...
I have the feeling that a lot of things are whirligiging in my unconscious mind, and that soon everything will blow up in my soul ravaging it...
I just hope that i'm wrong and that it is just superficial or just a consequence of an overtiredness, i don't know...

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Posted by Nocturnaline on Jan 28th, 2007 7:09 PM

I celebrated my birthday two days ago with my friends, we went to an indian restaurant, we had fun sharing this moment, it was very nice to have them all together around the table!
Yesterday, i went to a french restaurant only with my parents, it was of course different, but it was also a great time, cause we hadn't share that kind of moment for a very long time.
The next saturday, we will celebrate it with all my brothers, sisters, and their children... I know they will give me a jewel they bought together and i'm quite in a hurry to wear it, in a sense it will be a kind of materialization of their love, i already hold into my heart...
Did something really change?
-No. The only thing is that i know i'm 30, and i feel it as a new beginning, and somewhere i hope my life to change.
I would like to find the reason why i am here, on Earth. I enjoy living, being able to learn, to discover the world... But i hope that there is more than that... Perhaps it is a still lack of wisdom to believe that there is a higher meaning to life, and to want to discover it... But i can't help believing that it exists...

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Posted by Nocturnaline on Jan 4th, 2007 10:21 PM

I can't help thinking about my next trip to Scotland... I am so in a hurry to be there a new time, i feel so well when i'm fenced in these landscapes especially in the Highlands... It is as if i am in a very sweet dream, feeling freer than anywhere else. That's really a pity my english is not enough fluent to be able to work in Scotland... It's already a good thing for me to stay there four weeks, i will have the time to full my memory with a lot of new recollections! I hope that i will be in a position to transfer my next photographies in the gallery of this website, when i come back home... It will be the first time that i will have a numeric camera for my photos, then, it is a first good step... I just hope now, that i will enough subdue this "all new" technology (for me) to manage to take very beautiful pictures at least enough to account for the beauty of these marvelous landscapes...

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Posted by Nocturnaline on Jan 1st, 2007 8:00 PM

I try for the first time to write in english here, then please excuse my english...

Soon i will be 30... I feel this is an important moment in my life which is involving a great change...
Untill now i was waiting for everything, for some opportunities to change my life at every level... I was aware that it's not a solution, but i couldn't help waiting...
And finally nothing changed, i just feel older... Certainly i am quite more mature, but my life didn't really change... And i feel it is time for me to move on, to take my life in hand. This is the big resolution i pass in this 2007's beginning (i hope that it won't be like every resolution i'm used to not fellowing each year...)
At least, this year will see the carrying out of a plan of travel to Scotland, i have wanted for more than a year, and this is very important for me... That won't be my first trip to Scotland, but this time i go by car, which means much more freedom to move into the North of the Highlands, i'm so happy to think about it. It's incredible to think how much a simple travel could mean sometimes!
For a first time i stop now...

I wish everyone a very happy new year!!!!

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