Men's Issues, GIRLS --- KEEP OUT

Oh, but brother, I don't like to talk about hand cream. This is more fun.

And, yes, it seems to be true that, in general, women and men de-tox differently. We need to rant and get it out, men toss down a few, or some darts, or a dwarf, or something.

And yes, Richard, some men are Grand. Now if I could just meet some of them.....

Ah I have not been dwarf bowling in sometime!!!!

yeah...I know...I just go with the flow...ZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzz..............

Huhh?

I thought I heard some women talking and kind of dozed off.

Is this instinctive or self preservation?

Both.

They're jealous of the time we dedicate to the tube. Time spent watching telly is time not spent cudling, pampering, and listening to them coo and giggle.

OK, I'm going to be serious for a moment, try not to doze off. I promise I'll be brief.

But for any of you who seriously want to improve your relationship with your female, this hits the nail on the head.

We're jealous of your time.

Try and take it as a compliment we want to be with you. I mean, wouldn't you start to worry if your wife stopped talking to you and never wanted to be around you?

OK, I'll get out of the way of the TV, now. Try not to snore next time I'm talking......

OK, I just read this whole thread, and the list of issues are interesting. Lets see...

TOILET SEAT
JOCK ITCH
ALWAYS HAVE A BEER
BUT SWEAT
SHRINKING PANTS
FART BELCH GRUNT
MISSING THE TARGET
FOAM SEATS AND CRAPPY COVERS
BODY HAIR (EYEBROWS, NOSE, EARS)
CONSTANT FEMALE PRATTLING


Toilet Seats. Growing up with a strict Mum and a cranky sister I've had it beaten into my head now, and I never leave the seat up for fear of having to hear that same complaint over and over and over again. The fuzzy covers are a waste of time. They DON'T look good, as some people might think, and they cause the seat to fall while pissing. And I preffer a solid wood seat. They aren't cold, but aren't plush. They also don't stick to yer arse.

Jock Itch. Did you guys know this is actually a yeast infection? Yup. And quite often you catch it from your partner. A couple can pass this back and forth for ages if they don't deal with it. Gross, I know. I've had it a couple of times, and it's horrid. (DISCLAIMER; things ladies may not want to read) Towels don't get that area dry. Try using kleenex or something. That'll keep that extra moisture outa there.

Always Have A Beer. No, we don't. BUT!!! When we have a by over, in particular when there's work to be done, there must be beer..... or scotch...... or vodka. You get my drift. I'm putting laminate wood floors in my living room and dining room this weekend and my brother is coming over to help. I must have some beers to give the guy. It's like the universal "Thanks for the help" gesture. I had quite a time explaining that to Ange last night.

Butt Sweat. GROSS!! NEVER! Should I expect this as I get older?

Shrinking Pants. Yup. Maybe we just stretch the fabric over a few hours.

Fart Belch Grunt. What, your women don't do this too? Ange would kill me if she saw this.

Missing the target. Never. The only time I can think of when the target might be missed is late at night when I stagger to the toilet with my eyes closed and the lights off. At which point, I sit down so I don't end up with my head in the tub or something.

Body Hair. Well, I'm a frickin Yetti. Hair everywhere, and there's nothing I can do about it. Except trim it. Thank heavens my back is nothing like my.... front in this regard. Don't have ear hair, but I trim my nose hair. And I don't have to worry about my eyebrows. I've had people ask me if I pluck them, but no, they just grew in like that. Here here for perfect eyebrow genes.

Constant Female Prattling....... *looks up at the rest of his post* I'm going to leave this one be for a bit.

Elspeth Posted on Jan 9 2004, 10:36 AM

You know, I suspect that is the truth. But it also seems to point out a major difference between the two species sexes. Just observe most males when they relate with other men who are good, or long term friends, or watch a couple of little boys play. They may both be playing, for example with some small cars or something, but they may not be playing together. One will be doing one thing and another something else, but are just physically close. In the same way older men may stop by a friends house to visit, but there may not be more then ten words spoken during the entire visit. Just physically in the same room, maybe both watching the tube or something, then the one gets up and takes off, visit over. On the other hand, conversation may take place, especially if alcohol is involved, and this conversation should be carefully recorded so that all of the solutions to the world problems discussed can be remembered.

I am glad to see this thread is taking off so well. Maybe we can get into some really deep areas later on like 'how to explain why that new gadget was absolutely necessary' and stuff like that.

Leo

Jason, walks into the Oppossum lodge (for you Red green fans:) ), with pipe in hand, and finds an open recliner.
"sorry I'm late" I hit a water buffalo on the way in....Had to borrow a towel. WEll, I wasn't going to use mine!!!! " Lights pipe

There does seem to be something genetic about this.
My oldest boy from the time he was a tot could care less who he played with as long as they wanted to play football or baseball. He never even learned the names of the kids he went to pre-school with.
The next in line, a girl, knew every name after the first day. Social interaction was and is much more important to her.

I that dear Elspeth has entered the lodge....

Here is something I found....

Man's Prayer

I'm a man...
But I can change...
If I have to...
I guess...


http://www.redgreen.com/

Oh, Jason dear, I've been here since last night.
And don't worry, I've got a blindfold on. Go ahead and be guys.
Truth be told, I always preferred to hang out with the guys. But for heaven's sake don't tell the girls that!

The same thing happen when we get older, I know about everyone that lives within 10 miles of me and I might know the names of only a few, this is not inportant to me.

My Wife on the other hand not only know there names but she can recite to you who their Parents are, their Aunts and Uncles, each of their Childrens name and their age. I think you get the Picture.

She will tell me something about someone and I always come back with "So" or "Do I really need to know this?" Which results with her getting upset with me again. Women who are out there, correct me if I am wrong, but is there a reason I need to know this stuff?