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Celtic Radio Community > Kirk and Chapel > Stumbling Blocks


Posted by: Elspeth 05-Apr-2004, 05:48 AM
I think most people who have been Christians for a while have discovered a stumbling block or two. Those things that keep tripping us up. For some it is their intellect, for some money and for others relationships. Almost anything can be a stumbling block, that something that is used to keep us from being as close to God as He wants us to be.

Mine may be a bit strange but it falls under the category of God?s will for my life. When I was 13 I met the boy I was certain was fated to be my destiny. A certainty that never faded until he married someone else. Long story and not relevant. I went on with my life, putting him out of my mind for close to 20 years.

The thing is, they say when you look back over your life you are supposed to see how God worked in it for good. I can?t see that. I?ve been traveling a difficult road for the last 20 years. There are times when I?ve thought - if this is the plan for my life, then God doesn?t like me too well. And, to add to the confusion, I learned a couple of years ago that the one I always thought I was supposed to be with has been traveling a different, but equally unhappy path. Neither of us have a marriage the way a marriage should be.

So, this opens up all kinds of questions about plans for our lives, God?s will, etc and etc. For the last couple of years I have struggled with this. And add to the mix all the inherent mid-life questionings, I?ve just been a mass of trying to figure out what it?s all about.

So many people want to make this into an easy answer. God has a plan. If life is good we are faithful to His plan, if life is bad then it is our own fault. That has been hard for me, because I see my situation to be more a result of others choices than of mine. My first love chose someone else. My husband chooses to drink. Two decisions that have greatly affected my life, but over which I have had no control.

It was helpful to me to read an essay on prayer that compared prayer to a three-legged stool. Our petitions are one leg, God?s desires for our lives a second and the counter effect of the workings of the adversary the third. This metaphor allows for the thwarting of God?s will. For this is earth, not heaven and because of that God?s desires for us can be circumvented by our free will or the free will of others. Why He allows that to happen sometimes and not others is a mystery, but the mystery of living in this imperfect world.

I have found some peace by thinking that I wasn?t wrong in my youth. I did recognize God?s will. And when that was thwarted, I went on with my life as faithfully as I knew how. Then again, it could be that I am just stubbornly holding onto something I should have let go of years ago. It?s hard to know.

So, what are your stumbling blocks? And if you want to comment upon mine, feel free.

Posted by: tsargent62 05-Apr-2004, 08:00 AM
My biggest stumbling block is Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD). It's a pain in the butt. If it weren't for medication it would be worse. I have trouble remembering things, even important things, unless I write them down; even then it's no guarantee I'll remember. I really hate the fact that I'm so easily distracted. Again, withouth medication, linear thought is an absolute impossibility. I start down a train of thought, but I can't filter any other input that interferes with it, so I go off in a completely different, unrelated direction. That in itself is the definition of ADD: a lack of filters. As we ADD sufferers get older we learn to deal with some of these problems, but they never go away. However, the there are lasting emotional effects. I tend to suffer from depression as a result of my inability to perform as I know I can and from years of hearing "You could do so much better".

Many times I've prayed for God to make me "normal". To take my ADD away. Given that it is caused by a chemical imbalance, He made me this way, so there must be made a reason. Unfortunately, this creates a lot of stress for my wife. You see, both my oldest son and my daughter have ADD as well, so poor Maria has 3 of us to deal with. Oy!

Posted by: MacEoghainn 05-Apr-2004, 03:50 PM
I could take the easy way out and say women are my stumbling block, but I won't. My biggest stumbling block is me. Pride, lack of faith, lust, ect... all affect me.

What was it that Paul said? I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.
For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do?this I keep on doing. (Romans 7:18-19)

MacE
(living under Grace, because if we were under the Law I'd be in big trouble!)

Posted by: MDF3530 05-Apr-2004, 04:53 PM
My "stumbling blocks" are of a different sort. I have a gambling problem and attend Twelve Step meetings. I try to avoid going by the riverboat casinos here in the Chicago area. I just don't want to flush the gamble-free years I have down the drain.

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 05-Apr-2004, 05:59 PM
QUOTE (MacEoghainn @ Apr 5 2004, 03:50 PM)

What was it that Paul said? I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.
For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do?this I keep on doing. (Romans 7:18-19)

MacE
(living under Grace, because if we were under the Law I'd be in big trouble!)

I couldn't have said it better, because without Grace I don't know where I'd be! unsure.gif thumbs_up.gif

Posted by: Roisin-Teagan 05-Apr-2004, 06:08 PM
QUOTE (MDF3530 @ Apr 5 2004, 04:53 PM)
My "stumbling blocks" are of a different sort. I have a gambling problem and attend Twelve Step meetings. I try to avoid going by the riverboat casinos here in the Chicago area. I just don't want to flush the gamble-free years I have down the drain.

Mike,
Thanks for sharing. I know it had to take courage to open up about something that personal. I think it will help others who might be struggling with their own vices (whatever they may be). And we ALL have or had at one time vices we struggle(d) with in some form or fashion. smile.gif

Posted by: Elspeth 06-Apr-2004, 07:20 AM
Too true Roisin. We all are made imperfectly. Whether that be a physical or mental condition that keeps us from all we want to be or our desires to do what we shouldn't. And there is a power in this world that works against God. A power that knows our weakness and does all it can to exploit them. I am finding myself on the verge of anxiety attacks. It is a struggle to focus on what is good and true. But I know the closer I get to God, the more the adversary tries to keep me away. I've been finding myself repeating part of the Lorica (sp?) of St. Patrick that was posted - Christ before me. Christ beside me. Christ behind me. Christ below me. Christ above me. I might be paraphrasing, but the idea of having an insulation of Christ all around me is a comforting one.

Posted by: tsargent62 08-Apr-2004, 12:09 PM
Mike,

Thanks for sharing with us. I can't imagine what a gambling addiction would be like to deal with. I thank God that you were able to kick it. I know by my mother's alcohol addiction when I was a kid how valuable the Twelve Step meetings can be. I also know what kind of hell addiction is. I just gained a whole new respect for you, my friend. Praise God for helping you climb out of your own personal pit.

Posted by: CelticRose 23-Apr-2004, 02:15 PM
My stumbling blocks are anxiety and depression. I have suffered with this for many years. It is hereditary in my family and though I have been through many years of therapy (group and individual) I still battle it every day. It can really take over your life if you allow it too. The weird thing is that I have a great life and nothing to be anxious or depressed about and yet I suffer it daily anyway. Thank God for medication! Hope you all don't think me weird now. unsure.gif

Posted by: Aaediwen 23-Apr-2004, 03:47 PM
We all fight evils in outselves, I believe. One I've been more concious of lately is that I feel I may be a little too arrogant, a bit too sociologically anal... too much wanting to brag.


Posted by: CelticRose 23-Apr-2004, 04:40 PM
Hi Aaediwen! Good to see you! How are you doing, my friend?

Posted by: wizardofowls 23-Apr-2004, 06:03 PM
QUOTE (CelticRose @ Apr 23 2004, 03:15 PM)
My stumbling blocks are anxiety and depression.  I have suffered with this for many years. It is hereditary in my family and though I have been through many years of therapy (group and individual) I still battle it every day. It can really take over your life if you allow it too.  The weird thing is that I have a great life and nothing to be anxious or depressed about and yet I suffer it daily anyway. Thank God for medication!  Hope you all don't think me weird now. unsure.gif

Rosie, a ghràidh, I would NEVER think you were weird! You are a true inspiration to me! One of the best friends I have that I've never actually met! Every time I run into you on these boards it is a true plesure for me! You always have something good and kind and cheerful to say to me and to others! I struggle with a bad attitude and grumpy disposition, but you bring out the best in me!

So you keep your chin up and hold your head high! God loves you and He is on your side! He knows the very number of hairs on your head and has known all about you (both the good AND the bad) from before you were even conceived! You are a child of the King! And that makes you royalty! king.gif smile.gif

And always remember: if God be FOR us who can be AGAINST us!!!!

From your brother in Christ!

Posted by: CelticRose 23-Apr-2004, 07:04 PM
Oh thank you Allen! You are so very kind. I enjoy your company just as well and always so very happy to see you on the site here when I do!

You and your family take care, my friend! Glad I am able to bring out the best in others. I strive to do that! thumbs_up.gif

Posted by: wizardofowls 24-Apr-2004, 07:55 PM
You are welcome my friend! smile.gif

Personally, my stumbling blocks are mostly personality related. Impatience, stubborness, quick temper, bad attitude. I thank God every day for His help, because without it, I don't know where I'd be today.

Boredom is another major problem of mine. I am mentally hyper-active and get bored very easily with most anything I try to read or work on. The only exception to this was fantasy books. Before I returned to Christ two and half years ago, I was very much into Dungeons and Dragons and reading fantasy novels. All of the time. They consumed my time. Once I got saved, though, I felt compelled to give them up. That left a HUGE hole in my life that I didn't know how to fill. I threw myself into my Scottish Gaelic studies and piano lessons, discovered the Left Behind series of books and consumed them in no time, and started buying every Christian book and CD that I get my hands on, so that when boredom struck again I'd have something decent to lay my hands on. This is still a big problem for me. I'm just gald I have the Lord on my side to help me through it! smile.gif

Posted by: CelticRose 26-Apr-2004, 10:06 PM
QUOTE (wizardofowls @ Apr 24 2004, 08:55 PM)
Personally, my stumbling blocks are mostly personality related. Impatience, stubborness, quick temper, bad attitude. I thank God every day for His help, because without it, I don't know where I'd be today.

Now I can relate to these! You can see how imperfect I am! LOL


Posted by: Siobhan Blues 29-Apr-2004, 09:31 AM
Depression is my stumbling block... its my weakness, my Achille's Heel if you please. Only by the grace and patience and intervening hand of God do I sit here at this computer today posting. At one point I lost all hope in everything, but I kept one thought: Christ said he loves me, and he will send me help.
And sure 'nuff, he sent me a way out that was the strangest thing; so strange that nobody except Him could have come up with it. I decided to grab hold of the 'life preserver' instead of sinking completely to the depths, and eventually made my way back to the light.

But if I stop right now and look back, its like there is this black hole in the road behind me... sometimes its far back, sometimes its so close that if I take one step backwards I'll begin that descent again. It will never go away, and I know that now. But I also know the signs of taking backwards steps, and recognize when I am beginning to slip back into that hopeless frame of mind - God has given me certain things to embrace, certain things to see and read and listen to, that will stop the backwards motion. Depression therefore will never have a choke-hold on me again, but I keep an eye on the innate negative attitude & sense of helplessness in me that will trigger a relapse.

Posted by: wizardofowls 29-Apr-2004, 07:22 PM
GOOD FOR YOU, BLUE!

I am so happy that you've been able to overcome your depression! Isn't good to know that God is always with us? Even when we think we can't feel Him and wonder where He is, He has promised that He would NEVER leave us nor forsake us! I find that SO comforting!!!!

Posted by: Knightly Knight 02-May-2004, 08:25 PM
One of my greatest stumbling blocks has been Anger. 75 percent it has been triggered by the same type of people, Salesmen. I have often equated the word salesman with the words Chronic Liar, Chieseler, Cheat, Scoundrel.

When I feel I have been wronged my blood pressue hits the roof and I call people on this. Ive have employers who have told me I have the patience of Job and they love my performance, so I dont believe my feelings are totally unwarranted however Turning this anger has been a real problem.

When I find a good saleman ( seems like a contradiction in terms) I make sure he knows why this purchase is going though. Because of his honesty and being thorough in his presentation. Give me an honest salesman and I will by an inferior product as opposed to a superior product with a regular ( lying) salesman

Please pray for me if you will,
just so we dont reinvent the wheel. I think I have heard every reason why
even God loves Salesmen. I need prayer and understanding on how to turn the anger or not let it build.

Posted by: Elspeth 03-May-2004, 07:02 AM
Hey Knightly - I hear you. I get the same reaction with many telemarketers. Especially when they have to speak to my husband and won't talk to me. So they call my house dozens of times and who gets to answer the phone? ME! Now what is so bad about this is I used to BE a telemarketer. I did that all though college. It was good money for part time work. And my husband had a market research firm that did telephone surveys. So, you'd think I'd have some compassion. Instead I am maybe more critical. So, I understand. And let's not start on drivers or my family who insist upon leaving a trail of dirty socks throughout the house. We all have those certain buttons that can make an otherwise rational adult react like a teapot. So, I'll pray for you and you pray for me.

Posted by: Elspeth 03-May-2004, 07:03 AM
Hey Rose!

You're new avatar took me by surprise. I like it.

E

Posted by: Elspeth 03-May-2004, 07:11 AM
Hey Siobhan,

Thanks for sharing. My husband as well has suffered many bouts with depression and I have used the exact same words to describe what happens to him. I have seen him time and again fall into that black hole and I have helped pull him out. And when he again hovers on the edge is a terrible time for him. It took me a long time to understand what was happening to him.

But I do now, and so when I too encountered that black hole, I didn't wait too long to get help. When it was obvious it wasn't going to go away on it's own, I got the help I needed.

It is frightening to think of going back there. I had gotten to the point of starting to question if I even needed to be on this planet anymore. Now I know the darkness, but I also know what lies on the other side. So, if I again have to face the darkness, I pray I can hold onto the memory of what lies beyond as well.

It is good to talk of these things. It makes us all know we are not alone. Other 'good' people have stumbling blocks too.

Elspeth

Posted by: tsargent62 03-May-2004, 09:09 AM
Elspeth and Siobhan,

I understand the insidious nature of depression all too well, so I understand what you're going through. The problem with being in the pit, is that it is a very comfortable place to be. It's hell, and it doesn't feel good, but it's to easy to stay there; kind of like a warm bed on a cold morning, without the comfort. I battle with depression on a daily basis, and unfortunately, at this point it's on the winning side. Most of the time I find life in general very overwhelming. There are times I wish I could reach out and get a real good hug from someone who understands my pain. So, no, my sisters, you're not alone.

Todd

Posted by: Elspeth 03-May-2004, 10:01 AM
And Todd, the cyber hugs from those who understand abound!!!!! hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif

Life IS overwhelming! How the heck did we get to be the adults? The breadwinners? The moms the dads? It was only a few years ago WE were the kids. It is called midlife. All the responsibilities and NONE of the answers. So, don't feel bad about feeling overwhelmed. You are. And so are the rest of us. The more I talk to people my age about this, the more I hear the same story repeated over and over again.

Keep your chin up and if you're too tired to hold it there, we'll hold it up for a while for you.

E

Posted by: tsargent62 03-May-2004, 10:17 AM
QUOTE (Elspeth @ May 3 2004, 11:01 AM)
And Todd, the cyber hugs from those who understand abound!!!!! hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif hug.gif

Life IS overwhelming! How the heck did we get to be the adults? The breadwinners? The moms the dads? It was only a few years ago WE were the kids. It is called midlife. All the responsibilities and NONE of the answers. So, don't feel bad about feeling overwhelmed. You are. And so are the rest of us. The more I talk to people my age about this, the more I hear the same story repeated over and over again.

Keep your chin up and if you're too tired to hold it there, we'll hold it up for a while for you.

E

Thanks, my friend. I needed that.

Posted by: CelticRose 03-May-2004, 04:00 PM
QUOTE (Elspeth @ May 3 2004, 08:03 AM)
Hey Rose!

You're new avatar took me by surprise. I like it.

E

Hey! Elspeth! You know I am a major LOTR fan and one of my favorite characters is Galadriel! I love her name and her cause she is what I think an angel would look and be like. so unlike me! laugh.gif Anyway, I needed a change! rolleyes.gif

Posted by: CelticRose 03-May-2004, 04:08 PM
Boy! Todd! I can really relate to what you said about depression. It is a very comfortable place to be in. I suffer greatly with back pain that creates a lot of depression for me. I feel my best or more comfort I should say when I am on my couch rolled up like a ball because of the pain and the depression that goes with it. Laying down eases the pain, the couch is the safe place. Gee! I sound like a sicko, don't I? unsure.gif laugh.gif But can really see why sufferers of back pain commit suicide! Not that I would, but I can see whys of it now...........then added depression to go with it! unsure.gif


Posted by: Knightly Knight 03-May-2004, 04:09 PM
Thank you Elspeth and to everyone for the words of wisdom.

Posted by: tsargent62 04-May-2004, 05:39 AM
QUOTE (CelticRose @ May 3 2004, 05:08 PM)
Boy! Todd! I can really relate to what you said about depression. It is a very comfortable place to be in. I suffer greatly with back pain that creates a lot of depression for me. I feel my best or more comfort I should say when I am on my couch rolled up like a ball because of the pain and the depression that goes with it. Laying down eases the pain, the couch is the safe place. Gee! I sound like a sicko, don't I? unsure.gif laugh.gif But can really see why sufferers of back pain commit suicide! Not that I would, but I can see whys of it now...........then added depression to go with it! unsure.gif

You don't sound like a sicko at all! Believe me, I understand. I don't suffer from back pain, but I have plenty of emotional scars. There are times I would love nothing better than to stay in bed all day and have everyone just leave me alone. So, no, dear Rose, you're not a sicko. Heck, that would make me a sicko, too!

May I ask what is the cause of your back pain? You've mentioned it before, but I don't remember if you said what caused it.

Posted by: Siobhan Blues 04-May-2004, 08:29 AM
I am sorry so many of us have this same 'stumbling block' (depression) because its such a potentially disabling one... but I must say it means so much to me to be able to talk about it and have ya'll actually understand where I'm coming from. Thank you for sharing, and for being so understanding.

Chronic pain is something I've never had to live with, but my mother has back trouble that bothers her nearly all the time. She says its very difficult to stay upbeat and optimistic when the pain eats away at your mood and you know there's little you can do about it. She has been diagnosed with degenerative back disorder, arthritis and osteoporosis. We were both in a car accident back in the 70's too, where we were in a little sports car & were hit from behind by a huge car - we weren't injured, or so we thought at the time, but this many years later we both know that our backs have been affected by the 'whip lash' effect.

Rose, is arthritis contributing to your back aches too?

Posted by: CelticRose 04-May-2004, 08:12 PM
QUOTE (tsargent62 @ May 4 2004, 06:39 AM)
You don't sound like a sicko at all! Believe me, I understand. I don't suffer from back pain, but I have plenty of emotional scars. There are times I would love nothing better than to stay in bed all day and have everyone just leave me alone. So, no, dear Rose, you're not a sicko. Heck, that would make me a sicko, too!

May I ask what is the cause of your back pain? You've mentioned it before, but I don't remember if you said what caused it.

Todd, I have several problems with my back. I have scoliosis, ARTHRITIS (degenerative spinal disorder), bone spurs, compression of discs, bulging discs. Some days are really great for me and others are very terrible! I just never know. It just depends what I have done that day to aggravate it. When I was in California a few weeks ago , my mother informed me that this was very heraditary on both sides of my family...........great, eh? don't mean to sound pity pooy! smile.gif

Posted by: Elspeth 05-May-2004, 02:08 PM
Yikes!!! Not pity pooy at all. That must be so hard to have chronic pain. I know I'd be under the covers as often as I could get away with. Hope there are meds or other treatments you can do to make it managable.

And S., YES it is good to be able to talk about these things, isn't it? I know I've needed this safe place.

Stumbling blocks - the road bumps in life that cause us to pause, slow down and evaluate where we are. Sometime they are the things God uses to force us to our knees, lift our hands and voice in prayer and reconnect with Him.

In that light, I suppose I should say - Thank God for Stumbling Blocks

Posted by: Siobhan Blues 07-May-2004, 12:33 PM
Amen, darlin'!

rolleyes.gif




Posted by: CelticRose 07-May-2004, 05:54 PM
QUOTE (Elspeth @ May 5 2004, 03:08 PM)
Yikes!!! Not pity pooy at all. That must be so hard to have chronic pain. I know I'd be under the covers as often as I could get away with. Hope there are meds or other treatments you can do to make it managable.

And S., YES it is good to be able to talk about these things, isn't it? I know I've needed this safe place.

I have the drugs, but they make me goofy and upset my stomach so I don't tend to take them like I should. I just know what I can do and what I can't and work from there. I go for massage therapy every month and she helps me greatly. Didn't care for the chiropractor. all that popping and stuff did nothing for me. I do Pilates on an exercise ball though. That seems to help.

Posted by: tsargent62 07-May-2004, 06:04 PM
I know this is out of scope here, but how do you pronounce Siobhan?

Posted by: Siobhan Blues 07-May-2004, 08:25 PM
I have an Irish friend whose sister is named Siobhan, and they pronounce it

"she-VON"

Who am I to argue?! wink.gif
(But it shore don't look like its spelt to this little Southern belle.)


laugh.gif

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