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| Celtic Radio Community > The Jester's Court > Ask The Peckery |
| Posted by: peckery 16-Jun-2004, 08:01 AM |
| Answers to your lifes questions....Love, socks, family, computers, lighting for "candid" photos, etc.....Just ask |
| Posted by: Danann 16-Jun-2004, 08:44 AM |
| Where does the other sock go when its eaten by the dryer? |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 16-Jun-2004, 10:25 AM | ||
Why is it always the Dryer that is accused? I have found that sometime the sock gets caught in the drain of the Washer.  Sorry Peckery, I saw this one and could not resist.  |
| Posted by: maisky 16-Jun-2004, 11:14 AM |
As you might have guessed, Peckery's REAL name is Anne Landers.....  |
| Posted by: Herrerano 16-Jun-2004, 01:42 PM |
| Dear Peckery, Oh wise one, why is it that no one ever knows who it was who took the next to last of anything, placing the almost empty package back in the refrigerator, to fool us hard working, midnight snacking persons into thinking there is some sort of treat there when we do our before bedtime reconnaissance? Just curious |
| Posted by: Raven 16-Jun-2004, 01:59 PM |
| Oh Peckery Why don't you give your answers in Spanish like Leo does?? E Pluribus Unim Mikel |
| Posted by: peckery 16-Jun-2004, 03:22 PM | ||
Dear Just Curious It is very hard to find underwear that will fit a refrigerator, but I understand your concerns. Eskimo midgets have been know to live in the refridgerators of Charles Manson, Tony Blair, Mike Tyson and Michael Eisner, just to name of few. I would start wrapping your food in foil and stuffing it into socks. That way you can carry it with you at all times. It may be messy and smell bad, but you will always have food. |
| Posted by: peckery 16-Jun-2004, 03:23 PM | ||
Blanco Bronco |
| Posted by: MacEoghainn 16-Jun-2004, 03:36 PM |
| Dear Peckery, Should my aluminum foil hat have a parabolic antenna or rabbit ears? I'm having trouble tuning in Alpha Centauri.  |
| Posted by: peckery 16-Jun-2004, 04:25 PM | ||
Dear MacE, Rabbit ears 27.5 inches long at a 73* angle should do the trick. Say hi to Slarb for me. Peckery |
| Posted by: SCShamrock 16-Jun-2004, 04:47 PM |
| Dear Peckery; I had someone recently tell me that duct-taping your children to a bed post is a bad form of punishment. This misguided soul went so far as to say it is "abuse". I've been doing this for years, with astonshingly good results (the only exception would be the lack of body hair on the younguns) and can't see the problem. What do you think? Signed, Daddy-O |
| Posted by: peckery 16-Jun-2004, 04:59 PM |
| Dear Daddy O, As a child, I was buried up to my neck in the middle of a croquette field. Then old people would hit the wooden balls at my head. This had no effect on me what so ever. I think being duct taped to the bed is not only good for building character, but will save money on waxing down the road. As long as you are not hitting them, other people should mind their own bees wax! Peckery |
| Posted by: A Shrule Egan 16-Jun-2004, 05:00 PM |
| Dear Peckery: Why does Donald Duck wear a jacket and no pants and does Michael Eisner like him better that way? signed, wearing blinders |
| Posted by: peckery 16-Jun-2004, 05:11 PM | ||
Dear Wearing Blinders As some of you may know, I used to work at the Disney studios in Burbank. Michael Eisner requires ALL male employees under 27 to wear jackets and no pants while on the studio lot.. I at the time was 28. I did see Eisner and Duck eating lunch together in the cafeteria on many occasions. Peckery |
| Posted by: Herrerano 16-Jun-2004, 06:21 PM |
| Saludos Sr. Peckery, ¿Por que tengo problemas con las muchachas? Yo concozco muchas muchachas y cada vez nos salgamos para una cita, hay problemas. Al final de la cita las chicas siempre pide plata, como 20 dolares ó mas. ¿Por que? ¿Ellas no saben que yo gastó bastante dinero para las chicharones y las comidas y tambien el cuarto que alquiló por la hora? Yo no entiendo que pasa. Atentamente, Sr. Duro |
| Posted by: peckery 16-Jun-2004, 07:36 PM | ||
Sr. Duro Blanco Bronco. Peckery |
| Posted by: TheCarolinaScotsman 16-Jun-2004, 11:58 PM |
| Dear Peckery Have discovered that Peckery spelled backward is really yrekceP. Also heard that your stuffing is merely in-grown belly button lint. Will either of these two shocking revelations impede your run for dog catcher? Dan Would Rather but Goerge Will By the way, does the belly button lint thing make you an expert on navel warfare? Then why did you call B-4? It was a complete miss. |
| Posted by: peckery 17-Jun-2004, 07:50 AM | ||
Dear Scotty Really? NO. NO. Yes. You might get my battleship, but I'll sink your whole navy! Admiral Peckery |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 17-Jun-2004, 11:51 AM |
| Dear Peckery, I was wondering why anyone would want to go into Politics? Do they realize that they are only asking for more problems with their life? signed, Duhh |
| Posted by: peckery 17-Jun-2004, 12:57 PM | ||
Dear Duhh, Ego. Peck |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 17-Jun-2004, 01:15 PM | ||||
Dear Peckery, Good answer.  If I have anymore questions, I will be sure to look you up again. |
| Posted by: A Shrule Egan 17-Jun-2004, 04:15 PM |
| Dear Peckery: What really is "in" Intercourse, Pennsylvania? signed, Spurned. |
| Posted by: MDF3530 17-Jun-2004, 04:28 PM |
| Dear Peckery- A couple of questions: 1. Boxers or tightie whities? 2. Where are my car keys? 3. What color is the sky in your world? |
| Posted by: Kassia 17-Jun-2004, 09:05 PM |
| When is Peckery, the Movie coming out? Who is the world's greatest drummer? |
| Posted by: Annabelle 17-Jun-2004, 10:40 PM |
| Dear Ask Peckery? I'm a 5'6" 38, 24, 38 sockmonkey who's looking for single white male sockmonkey who is athletic, very hairy and grows his own banana's. Can you give me your brother's name and phone number? forever in your debt! Sockannashoes |
| Posted by: maisky 18-Jun-2004, 03:44 AM |
| Dear Peckery, When is may favorite musical group featuring Arminta and the World's Greatest Drummer going to do a gig in Chicago so I can come mooch another beer......er.....come hear them perform?  |
| Posted by: peckery 18-Jun-2004, 08:20 AM | ||
Dear Spurned, A Holiday Inn, IHOP, Motel 6, Shoelace museum, Waffle House, Dunkin Donut or 2, Bubba's house of bondage, Joe Green shrine, terry Bradshaw Think Tank, and a few gas stations with the Subway attached with the week old cuts of meat. The truth can sometimes be, well, not so fresh. Peckery |
| Posted by: peckery 18-Jun-2004, 08:30 AM | ||
Dear Mike I prefer the eastern martial arts over boxing. I studied Jeet Kune Do for ten years. If whitie is uptight, the best advice I can give is relax. Your car keys are in the last place you left them. Go look! The sky has no color. What you are see are refracted wave lenghts. Blue is the shortest and is visible before any other color. That is why the sky is blue. So in answer to your question, I would have to say orange. Peckery |
| Posted by: peckery 18-Jun-2004, 08:37 AM | ||
Dear Kassia, Only the Adult Movie industry has expressed intrest in my story at this point. At one time however, Chuck Norris did express intrest in a banana. World's greatest drummer would have to go to Buddy Rich. Hon. mention, Neil of Rush, Moonie, Gonzo, MDF3530, TSARG, and Animal of the Electric Mayhem. Peckery |
| Posted by: peckery 18-Jun-2004, 08:39 AM | ||
Charles, Prince of Whales. He's in the phone book. Peckery |
| Posted by: peckery 18-Jun-2004, 08:41 AM | ||
Dear Jester, Good question!!!! I will consult the Diva and get back to you. Peckery |
| Posted by: JaneyMae 18-Jun-2004, 10:21 AM |
OOOoooohhhhhh! Can I come watch the band? When would be a good time to mooch the free beer  by the way?  |
| Posted by: Herrerano 18-Jun-2004, 11:04 AM |
| Dear Peckery, What is the reason for everything? Curious |
| Posted by: oldraven 18-Jun-2004, 11:37 AM |
| Dear Peckery, What will be my next question? sincerely, Deer. |
| Posted by: peckery 18-Jun-2004, 12:29 PM | ||
Dear Curious The reason for everything is.................is....................ELVIS ! ! Peckery |
| Posted by: peckery 18-Jun-2004, 12:30 PM | ||
Dear Deer, Who didn't replace the toilet paper??!! Peckery |
| Posted by: tsargent62 18-Jun-2004, 12:33 PM |
| Dear Peckery, Who is that man in the moon? Wondering |
| Posted by: Herrerano 18-Jun-2004, 12:51 PM |
| Dear Peckery, What is the correct way to install a roll of toilet paper? With the loose end over, or under? Desperate |
| Posted by: Raven 18-Jun-2004, 01:18 PM |
| Buenos NOchos Senior Peckery Much Ophra Ochra, Marsel Marso, en tienga el tegre toro toro toro!!!! tele mundo, el pollo loco, SI? Blanco Bronco (hee hee) Andelea Mikel |
| Posted by: peckery 18-Jun-2004, 01:19 PM | ||
Dear Wondering The man in the moon is Mr. Naybob himself, Spiro T. Agnew. Peckery |
| Posted by: peckery 18-Jun-2004, 01:26 PM | ||
Dear Desperate, Below the equator it is under, above the equator it is over. If you are in a plane crossing over the date line, the role must be mounted sideways. If you are on a cruise ship full of pasty midwesterners sailing through the tropic of cancer or are anywhere near the horse latitudes, wear a big hat and hide a role underneath. Hope this has helped Peckery |
| Posted by: peckery 18-Jun-2004, 01:28 PM | ||
Dear MikEl< Si. Blanco bronco mucho pollo. De nada El Peckorio |
| Posted by: oldraven 18-Jun-2004, 01:34 PM |
| Dear Peckery, Who didn't replace the toilet paper??!! (how did you know?  )Justin Time |
| Posted by: MDF3530 18-Jun-2004, 02:40 PM |
| Dear Peckery- What should I have for dinner tonight? Signed, Hungry |
| Posted by: peckery 18-Jun-2004, 03:46 PM | ||
Dear Hungry THE age old question.......Take five peeled golden delight potatos, cut then into thin slices and put in a no stick pan. Season with onion & garlic powder and season salt. Pour a quater sized amount of olive oil in pan with potatos. Cook for 18 minutes at 400. After 18 minutes add 2 or 3 boneless, skinless chicken breasts. on top of potatos. Make sure all fat is cut away and they are not to thick.(half inch max) Put back in over for 17 minutes and there you have it. Peckery Chicken A green salad is always nice too. Peckery |
| Posted by: peckery 18-Jun-2004, 03:48 PM | ||
I know. Peckery PS Do you know Justin Case |
| Posted by: MDF3530 18-Jun-2004, 03:49 PM | ||
Dear Peckery- Can you recommend a good wine to go with that? Still Hungry |
| Posted by: WizardofOwls 18-Jun-2004, 04:25 PM |
| Dear Peckery, What are the words to the song "Don't Worry, Be Happy?" Cantre Member |
| Posted by: maisky 18-Jun-2004, 04:47 PM |
| I wait with baited breath for news of Peckery and Raven's schedule. (ignore the odor of minnows on my breath). Their group seriously rocks out! |
| Posted by: Herrerano 18-Jun-2004, 05:05 PM | ||
maisky Posted on 18-Jun-2004, 05:47 PM
Some would think this was an unusual thing for maisky to say, but as was revealed several weeks ago in another forum, it is not unusual at all. Below is the photographic evidence. Leo  |
| Posted by: WizardofOwls 18-Jun-2004, 05:09 PM |
| Rolling on the floor laughing! Wiping tears from eyes! How cute! Thanks Leo! I needed a good laugh today! |
| Posted by: peckery 18-Jun-2004, 05:50 PM | ||||
Dear Hungry Any white or chard would be fine. Stay away from carton or twist off caps. Peckery |
| Posted by: peckery 18-Jun-2004, 05:54 PM | ||
Dear Fowl Wizling I have never listened to that song past the intro so I do not know what the words are. Sorry. |
| Posted by: TheCarolinaScotsman 18-Jun-2004, 05:56 PM |
| Dear Peckery What is the highest mountain in Rhode Island? Vern Mercator |
| Posted by: MDF3530 18-Jun-2004, 06:04 PM |
| Dear Peckery- How much did it cost me to ride downtown on the Chicago Transit Authority's Orange Line train yesterday? The Trainman |
| Posted by: MacEoghainn 18-Jun-2004, 06:46 PM | ||||
Dear Peckery, Thanks for the help. Slarb says hi. He also said to tell you the following: "Klaatu, Barada, Nikto" I pointed out to him (or is it her, or maybe ?it?) that line was from an old Scifi movie titled ?The Day the Earth Stood Still?. He/she/it said that the line was actually stolen from his/her/it's parent (I guess that?s what you would call Slarb?s immediate ancestor) by one of the writers of the script for that movie. Anyway, he/she/it said you would know what he/she/it means. Now for my new problem. My neighbors are complaining that, since I started using your rabbitears suggestion, any time I communicate with Alpha Centauri  (or even my friends on Mars) their lights dim, the TV goes to snow, and their microwave oven starts playing ?Waltzing Matilda?. Any suggestions? |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 18-Jun-2004, 11:27 PM | ||
MacEoghainn, yours is doing that too? I thought I was the only one. Maybe Peckery can help here. |
| Posted by: MacEoghainn 19-Jun-2004, 12:13 AM | ||||
If Peckery can't help then who can?  |
| Posted by: MacEoghainn 19-Jun-2004, 12:20 AM |
| Dear Peckery, Here are some of those deep ?Meaning of Life? questions we all need the answers to: Those extremely poignant Three Dog Night lyrics: What were they drinking when they wrote ?Celebrate?? Who is Eli (possibly a cardiologist?) and where the heck is he coming from? (and from Hoyt Axton) Jeremiah was a bullfrog, he?s a good friend of mine...? MacE PS: From Rick Springfield: Who is Jesse, what?s his girlfriend?s name, ?and where can I find a woman like that?? |
| Posted by: maisky 19-Jun-2004, 04:59 AM | ||
Meowww!! Errrr......I mean.....WOOF! Ok, Ok, so I get a little strange when I drink cheap swill instead of BEER!  |
| Posted by: peckery 19-Jun-2004, 08:04 AM | ||
dear Vern The highest mountain in Rhode Island isn't even a mountain. Foster Hill at 812 feet is the tallest paoint in that state. If Maisky was standing on top , it would be 816 feet high. Love to Prudence Peckery |
| Posted by: maisky 19-Jun-2004, 08:22 AM | ||||
SSHHHHHH!!! Don't tell everybody I'm only 4' tall!!! I need to keep SOME secrets!  |
| Posted by: Herrerano 19-Jun-2004, 08:57 AM | ||
| maisky Posted on 19-Jun-2004, 09:22 AM
You mean if you are standing on your hind legs. Leo  Hey, that Bud lite does weird stuff, I think the seaweed content has been increased. |
| Posted by: Annabelle 19-Jun-2004, 09:34 AM |
| Sorry Maisky but it's you hind legs with platform shoes on is more like it! Luv ya dear! A |
| Posted by: Annabelle 19-Jun-2004, 09:43 AM |
| Dear Peckery, I asked a question on 6-17-04 of which I did not get a reply to my extremely important question so I am cancelling my subscription. Please return the banana truck to me as soon as possible before they sit on the docks and rot. Then I'd have to make banana pudding with them. a pity! Sincerely, Sockannashoes (sockabelles sister) |
| Posted by: peckery 19-Jun-2004, 01:34 PM | ||
Dear Trainman I am worried. Not being able to remember such a simple fact, something that you have done a thousand time worries me. May I suggest the following. Get down in a sprinters three point stance about 20 feet from a brick wall. Have a trusted friend or homeless person shout "GO!" and take off.. In seven to eight steps you will encounter previously mentioned wall. When the bleeding stops and you have found your recently knocked out chickletts, I bet you will remember the answer to your question. Best of luck. Let us know how it goes. Peckery |
| Posted by: peckery 19-Jun-2004, 01:40 PM | ||
Question answered at bottom of page three on same day asked. Women!! Peckery |
| Posted by: A Shrule Egan 19-Jun-2004, 01:41 PM | ||||
 |
| Posted by: peckery 19-Jun-2004, 01:44 PM | ||||||
Dear Unsure, Easy fix. KILL YOUR NEIGHBORS. Glad I could help. Peckery |
| Posted by: peckery 19-Jun-2004, 01:46 PM | ||||
Dear Richard KILL KILL KILL Peckery |
| Posted by: peckery 19-Jun-2004, 01:58 PM | ||
Dear Unsure, In the song "Celebrate" they were drinking Gin, Scotch, Tequilla, Embalming fluid,Rum and Fresca. In the song about Eli, you are close in you guess. Eli was a profusionist (guy who works heart and lung machine during heart surgery) In the song Joy To The World, Jeremiah was code for the popular 60's viagra forerunner, Spanish Fly. The lead sing (can't remember name right now) got so much strange on tour that little singer , in his words "exploded" He was in hospital for two weeks. Hope this helps Peckery |
| Posted by: A Shrule Egan 19-Jun-2004, 02:27 PM |
| Dear Peckery: It's been said, that if you are right handed, you think with the left side of your brain and vice versa. If that is true, can we actually justify, that Annabelle even has one?? *note* Annabelle asked me if I would type this to you. She couldn't figure out the logic of even having a brain. *note* |
| Posted by: peckery 19-Jun-2004, 04:03 PM | ||
Dear Shruly, I have no fingers and can type gdy7lw ajd7nq4 u7 n90q qeo eerr fine. Annabelle does have a brain, of sorts. On good days, she does have control over her left ring finger. On theses days she can pick her nose and clean her navel. Thanks for the great question. Peckery |
| Posted by: MacEoghainn 19-Jun-2004, 04:18 PM | ||
Dear Peckery, Neighbors dead gvnauiehgfuengneognlemng klaegjirhg[irhojwhg'R"HNobrnH"{NRGinrG""ONGI"NRB"{IR"FNGIOP{BVJr 0[utr0yja){jh[WJHG{890jhwg rjngklJNG IO{JgonaBNRGio[NBklNDBoe[HGNbKLNnJRHG[OPolice have fired teargas into house feaiouhnikbjmepdsigjwi8ejhgfiewhnjgIOSJNGOSIO F{<JHGIRWSNG LOSNRWGjrw"{N ronbvLO"NWgrB'[EBo'ln groyi JHREW[W VTUJW V[QUTQO49HGw[g[w9bhg[wJHHG[NWG WWjhgIOPWhgiiowhioHMuIOU v{Y,URWY90urw90u0[Slarb refuses to beam me out ehnsje[gjne'goingaioeng'gvjodnvbujegjhwmioHGMWrsjnImngkpnb ;OAEHAIOE[HUEUH[IOEJHGuiojhb[oieuhioeauha[ioajhjmnekibm'aebojbINGAEIO[NB[aioHEBEB[OEBLN'EBONBEWhat do I do now? |
| Posted by: peckery 19-Jun-2004, 06:10 PM |
| Dear MacE Have talked with Slard and Clickpopwubbawubbanoink. They say you should taunt the police with things like Big gun. What are you compensating for? and Hold on. I'll send your wife out. Then they will see you are friendly and go get donuts. Peckery |
| Posted by: MDF3530 19-Jun-2004, 08:01 PM |
| Dear Peckery- Why do my Aunt Petunia, Uncle Vernon and cousin Dudley hate me so much? What can I do to sway them? Signed, Harry Potter |
| Posted by: A Shrule Egan 19-Jun-2004, 09:47 PM |
| Dear Peckery: I have been asked to be a judge in the State Fair for the Home Brewers competition. I am concerned that some of the competitors might try to sway my vote their way by enticing me with a well developed, long legged blonde. What should I do if this occurs? signed BUUURRRPPPP |
| Posted by: peckery 20-Jun-2004, 08:35 AM | ||
Dear Harry, Even I hate you, you little twit. Now bugger off! Peckery |
| Posted by: peckery 20-Jun-2004, 08:38 AM | ||
Dear BURP, I would let her pull your tap. Peckery |
| Posted by: MacEoghainn 20-Jun-2004, 08:52 AM | ||
Police WERE NOT IMPRESSED by big gun nor when the wife was sent out (re: the wife, there was a minor problem with her, there is a good reason I've always called her "Mummy"). They are now shooting at me. Beginning to have concerns about your advice! |
| Posted by: peckery 20-Jun-2004, 08:59 AM | ||||
Dear Unsure Have talked to Slarb and Spink. They say wrap yourself in foil and they will come and get you. Try to have on loose fitting clothes. You have three minutes until beam out. Peckery |
| Posted by: MacEoghainn 20-Jun-2004, 09:10 AM | ||
Dear Peckery, Thanks, things are great here on Alpha Centauri (though the funny clothes with the sleeves that tie in the back are uncomfortable and I don't understand why my room has padding on the walls). My new e-mail address is: [email protected] See you next time you're here. I now have no doubts about your advice. |
| Posted by: maisky 20-Jun-2004, 09:31 AM | ||||
NOW I understand where his political views come from!!! |
| Posted by: MacEoghainn 20-Jun-2004, 10:04 AM | ||||||
 I forgot Brother Maisky could see this!  Now he knows my secret! |
| Posted by: MDF3530 20-Jun-2004, 02:59 PM |
| Dear Peckery- I'm afraid that, due to some recent (within the past year or so) "overexposure" of me, I have brought shame to my family's name. What can I do to repair it? Signed, Paris Hilton |
| Posted by: peckery 20-Jun-2004, 03:19 PM | ||
Dear Paris, You are a ho. To repair your family name you should just kill yourself or cure cancer Peckery |
| Posted by: MDF3530 20-Jun-2004, 03:45 PM |
| Dear Peckery- Will I ever be the The One? Signed, Neo |
| Posted by: peckery 20-Jun-2004, 03:55 PM | ||
Dear Neo You will never be the one. You are not pure. Your mind is corrupted. You have an ISP port in the back of your head. You dress funny. My I suggest hooking up with Simon Phoenix??? He dresses funny too. You, Simon and Paris can rule the universe from beyond the grave. Take off those damn glasses and stop flying around like Peter Pan on speed. Have a nice day Peckery |
| Posted by: MDF3530 20-Jun-2004, 06:55 PM |
| Dear Peckery- MacEoghiann's alien friend Slard keeps calling me on the phone "by mistake". What should I do? Signed, ET |
| Posted by: urian 20-Jun-2004, 08:04 PM |
| LMAO OH MY GOD!! YOU ARE ALL INSANE!!! HAHAHAHA I LOVE IT Dear Peckboy, The voices in my head have stopped talking to me..now it's the voices in everyone elses heads that are chatting away..how can I fix this? Empty between the ears |
| Posted by: peckery 20-Jun-2004, 10:41 PM | ||
Dear ET Slard is your student loan officer. Don't answer. If Slarb calls, you may have just won a million dollars. Peckery |
| Posted by: peckery 20-Jun-2004, 10:51 PM | ||
Dear Empty Between the Ears Cranial voids can be bothersome. But there are several easy solutions. Nestles Tollhouse cookie dough looks like brain matter with flies mixed in. You could fill your head with that. Beer is good too but pour it in slowly. You don't want a foamy head. (attempt at humor) When your dome is full, the voices will go away. Peckery |
| Posted by: Raven 21-Jun-2004, 08:21 AM |
| Dear Peckery If I was a gay sock monkey and you were a gay sock monkey, would you find me attractive?? Signed Just Wondering |
| Posted by: peckery 21-Jun-2004, 02:55 PM | ||
Dear Wondering, NOBODY is that gay. Peckery |
| Posted by: Raven 21-Jun-2004, 03:23 PM |
  |
| Posted by: MDF3530 21-Jun-2004, 03:39 PM |
| Dear Peckery, My computer is infested with sock monkeys. Are there any software applications that take care of this, or should I just show them the business end of my size 12? Signed, Paul Teutel Sr. |
| Posted by: peckery 21-Jun-2004, 04:18 PM | ||
Dear Paul, How is Ringo? There is currently no anti-sock monkey software, except for the MacFive 1000 Have the little dickens been giving you problems? Next time you see one on your screen, hit the monitor with a hammer. Have a nice day |
| Posted by: Kassia 22-Jun-2004, 12:31 AM |
| Dear Peckkerhead, What do I do with a 13 year old son who wanders around the house with a stuffed wombat on his shoulder? He says it talks to him and is his faithful sidekick, Mr. Whiskers. I am worried about fleas. Kassia |
| Posted by: maisky 22-Jun-2004, 03:49 AM | ||
Peckery is in jail.....errrrr......he can't answer you at the moment, so I am filling in. Be sure to change the flea coller on your son AND on the wombat, to avoid fleas on the wombat. Once started, stuffed fleas can be hard to eradicate. |
| Posted by: MacEoghainn 22-Jun-2004, 05:42 AM |
| Dear Maisky, Is that Peckery in the room next to me? Slarb (who for some reason insists on wearing a white lab coat with a name tag that says: "Dr. Aaron Silverberg MD, Chief Physiatrist") won't tell me if he's here. I'm pretty sure it's him since I hear yelling and screaming all night long and everyone knows how Peckery loves horror movies. Otherwise everything is great here on Alpha Centauri. |
| Posted by: peckery 22-Jun-2004, 09:01 AM | ||
Dear Kassia, When your young one goes to bed and falls asleep, take the wombat and place it in your freezer over night. Then right before he get up for school, put it back where you got it. He will ask you why it is cold and hard. Tell him it is dead and "get over it." Peckery |
| Posted by: peckery 22-Jun-2004, 09:07 AM | ||
I am not in jail. I OWN the cops. Glad to hear you and Slarb are getting along. Do they have you fixed up so you don't "fall" out of bed? They are very nice in that way. Peckery |
| Posted by: Annabelle 22-Jun-2004, 09:56 AM |
| Dear Peckerhead, I am at the beach this weekend for my son's wedding and I can't seem to control this blasted sand. It gets everywhere and in everything! How do stop it from following me around....I've tried anti-sand magnets around the house but to no avail...help. Drownding in sand here! A |
| Posted by: Raven 22-Jun-2004, 12:46 PM | ||||
Dear Peckery I have heard that a good way to get rid of fleas is to saturate half of the offending creature with gasoline, set the gas on fire and stab the fleas with an ice pick as they run out. Do you recomend this treatment? Confused |
| Posted by: peckery 22-Jun-2004, 02:13 PM | ||
Dear A, Like sands through the hour glass, these are the days of our lives......... Peckery |
| Posted by: peckery 22-Jun-2004, 02:15 PM | ||||||
Dear Confused, Yes I have done it that way but it will dull your ice pick. |
| Posted by: MDF3530 22-Jun-2004, 02:56 PM |
| Dear Peckery- Do crocodiles find sock monkeys tasty? Signed, Crikey In The Outback |
| Posted by: Herrerano 22-Jun-2004, 03:13 PM |
| Dear Peckery, How come you are coming unraveled behind your right ear? Your stuffing looks really ickey. Kniterly |
| Posted by: peckery 22-Jun-2004, 06:36 PM | ||
Dear Crikey In the Outback, How's yer bloomin' onion mate? Strueth I'm a bit of a layabout after me three week walkabout. Thats not a knife. This is a knife. Great movie Galipoli. Strueth. Matilda got a walker from the sheila with the pillows. Me Holdie's thrown a rod. Man am I pissed. Not much meat on the bone those sockies. Spit them out they would. Strueth Ned. Typical Australian response to a simple question. Peckery |
| Posted by: peckery 22-Jun-2004, 06:37 PM | ||
Maybe so. But I still have a 30" waist |
| Posted by: A Shrule Egan 22-Jun-2004, 07:03 PM |
| Dear Peckery: I have recently purchased an old tower clock from a demolished church in Texas. Due to the difference of the latitudinal axis between Texas and New Jersey, I will need to recalibrate the pendulum to the proper length from the crutch in order for the clock to keep proper time. Can you advise me on how I go about determining this? Thanks, signed Timed Out. |
| Posted by: Kassia 22-Jun-2004, 10:40 PM | ||||||
oh oh....he doesn't trust the freezer or icepick. he remembers what happened to his favorite pikachu a couple of years ago, and he's running around the room in circles swinging the grunting wombat around by the tail...what do we do now??? |
| Posted by: peckery 22-Jun-2004, 11:09 PM | ||||||||
Put him on freezer. |
| Posted by: peckery 22-Jun-2004, 11:19 PM | ||
Dear Timed out I think I can help. Get four large sea turtles and place them at the corners of the tower. Then put a three legged goat on top off the tower. Duct tape one ant eater to each side of the pendulum. Mark the zeneth of the swing of the pendulum with chalk. Set hand of clock to 5:37. If our calculations are correct, in 12 hours it will be 5:37. Let me know if this works. Please make sure ant eaters are same size. Peckery |
| Posted by: Raven 23-Jun-2004, 09:25 AM | ||||
This is the most insensitive and insulting thing that you have said yet  Don't make me come over there!!! |
| Posted by: urian 23-Jun-2004, 10:11 AM |
| Peckery, The Mandelbrot fractal set is the simplest nonlinear function, as it is defined recursively as f(x)=x^2+c. After plugging f(x) into x several times, the set is equal to all of the expressions that are generated. The plots below are a time series of the set, meaning that they are the plots for a specific c. They help to demonstrate the theory of chaos, as when c is -1.1, -1.3, and -1.38 it can be expressed as a normal, mathematical function, whereas for c = -1.9 you can't. In other words, when c is -1.1, -1.3, and -1.38 the function is deterministic, whereas when c = -1.9 the function is chaotic. Time Series for c = -1.1 Time Series for c = -1.3 Time Series for c = -1.38 Time Series for c = -1.9 Your thoughts.. Math geek |
| Posted by: Raven 23-Jun-2004, 10:45 AM |
| It seems that I remember Jeff Goldblum talking about this in Geriatric Park ! |
| Posted by: A Shrule Egan 23-Jun-2004, 03:49 PM | ||||
BWAAHHHAAAA . Can you say, "STUMPED"!!!I thought I would give the Pecker a chance of coming up with the answer but Michael, I like your question much better. GOOD JOB!!!! Peckery, don't give up. This has been very entertaining. I love this!! |
| Posted by: MacEoghainn 23-Jun-2004, 04:12 PM | ||
Slarb says,  I mean Dr. Silverberg, or, I'm not sure Anyway where was I,  oh yeah, Sockmonkeys don't talk, can't type, and we shouldn't listen to them when they tell us things (like kill your neighbor). So Raven maybe you should beam up here to Alpha Centauri, or is it drive down here to the Florida Hospital for the Criminally Insane, (these vitamin shots their giving me are throwing me for a loop ) and join our little discussion group. |
| Posted by: peckery 23-Jun-2004, 04:23 PM | ||
Dear Number Freak Ever since I discovered the new number "spink" between five and six, we real scientist laugh at you tiny number brains. Your whole world is CHAOTIC. |
| Posted by: maisky 23-Jun-2004, 04:50 PM | ||
Sock monkeys may not be able to talk and type, but Peckery can play the drums like a demon! |
| Posted by: silverdragon 23-Jun-2004, 05:31 PM | ||
ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! |
| Posted by: urian 23-Jun-2004, 06:05 PM |
| Experimental math...oy..here..take a gander at the real thing Select function f(x) to expand into a summation f(x) = ? Hyperbolic Definitions sinh(x) = ( e x - e -x )/2 csch(x) = 1/sinh(x) = 2/( e x - e -x ) cosh(x) = ( e x + e -x )/2 sech(x) = 1/cosh(x) = 2/( e x + e -x ) tanh(x) = sinh(x)/cosh(x) = ( e x - e -x )/( e x + e -x ) coth(x) = 1/tanh(x) = ( e x + e -x)/( e x - e -x ) cosh 2(x) - sinh 2(x) = 1 tanh 2(x) + sech 2(x) = 1 coth 2(x) - csch 2(x) = 1 Inverse Hyperbolic Definitions arcsinh(z) = ln( z + (z 2 + 1) ) arccosh(z) = ln( z (z 2 - 1) ) arctanh(z) = 1/2 ln( (1+z)/(1-z) ) arccsch(z) = ln( (1+(1+z 2) )/z ) arcsech(z) = ln( (1(1-z 2) )/z ) arccoth(z) = 1/2 ln( (z+1)/(z-1) ) Relations to Trigonometric Functions sinh(z) = -i sin(iz) csch(z) = i csc(iz) cosh(z) = cos(iz) sech(z) = sec(iz) tanh(z) = -i tan(iz) coth(z) = i cot(iz) thoughts? |
| Posted by: MDF3530 23-Jun-2004, 06:15 PM |
| Yes. My thought is this: There are plenty of decaffinated brands of coffee on the market today that taste just as good as the regular. |
| Posted by: MDF3530 23-Jun-2004, 06:21 PM |
| Dear Peckery- Have you seen my salt shaker? Signed, Jimmy Buffett |
| Posted by: peckery 23-Jun-2004, 08:13 PM | ||
Dear Mike Are you a coffee achiever??? Peckery |
| Posted by: peckery 23-Jun-2004, 08:15 PM | ||
Dear Jimmy Salt cost three cents a ton. Go buy some more. Peckery |
| Posted by: peckery 23-Jun-2004, 08:19 PM | ||
Dear Urian S=Sock Monkey B=Bananas ^^=Breasts $$$$=Ex Wife S+^^+(hide B3)=$$$$ Prof. Peckery |
| Posted by: urian 23-Jun-2004, 08:38 PM |
| WOW! Universal thruths have never been clearer. You have changed my life. Thank you Prof Peckery |
| Posted by: Annabelle 23-Jun-2004, 08:58 PM |
| Dear peckerhead, Here inJacksonville there are sock monkeys everywhere. It's like the craze here! Did I miss your touring schedule? What city are you going to next? Where will you be playing? Your fan Jackson5 |
| Posted by: peckery 23-Jun-2004, 10:15 PM | ||
We have assumed control |
| Posted by: MDF3530 23-Jun-2004, 10:27 PM | ||||
I am a coffee freak  ! |
| Posted by: peckery 24-Jun-2004, 03:10 PM | ||||||
We shall name thee Tweek |
| Posted by: A Shrule Egan 24-Jun-2004, 03:39 PM |
| Dear Peckery: A recent visit to Palm Springs, Ca. rewarded me with a view along Interstate 10 that just was awesome to see. Since we know you are a born and bred Ca. sockmonkey, can you tell me about how many electric generating windmills there are along that stretch of highway and about how much power do they generate for California?  signed, really winded |
| Posted by: peckery 24-Jun-2004, 05:16 PM | ||
Dear Shruly, California has very lucrative tax breaks for alternate power technology. These windmill forests started popping up about 30 years ago. Did you notice all the different types? These are all privately owned windmills. I don't know how much juice they put out, but I heard once that it was not that much. Did you see the dinosaurs off on the north side of the 10 about 15 miles west of the windmills? Did you go to Flarahty's bar while in PS.. The only Irish bar in town. Used to play there a bunch. Peckery |
| Posted by: A Shrule Egan 24-Jun-2004, 05:59 PM | ||||
Nope, actually was in Desert Hot Springs, on the other side of 10, visiting cousins I never met before. Never went in to Palm Springs. Came in from Lake Elsinore and don't remember any dinosaurs, just the new Indian casino and miles and miles of windmills everywhere. Just did some quickie research. There are over 40,000 windmills along that stretch and they make up only 3% of all of Californias power needs |
| Posted by: maisky 24-Jun-2004, 06:39 PM |
| That is the ONLY 3% that the "Enron" types can't jerk around the price of. |
| Posted by: peckery 25-Jun-2004, 08:02 AM | ||
True. But California government is going to impose a air tax. |
| Posted by: MDF3530 25-Jun-2004, 03:49 PM |
| Dear Peckery- I own a custom motorcycle shop. Two of my sons work for me. One is a major league goofoff, and the other is the biggest slacker of all time. Do you have any ideas how to motivate them besides threatening to show them the business end of my size 12? Signed, Paul Teutel Sr. |
| Posted by: peckery 25-Jun-2004, 05:17 PM | ||
Dear Paul Threaten them with careers in interior design or hair styling. Peckery |
| Posted by: A Shrule Egan 27-Jun-2004, 11:03 AM |
| Dear Peckery, I use 400 speed film in my 35mm camera. If I run faster, while taking a picture, will that increase it to 800 speed?? thanks, camera buff |
| Posted by: peckery 27-Jun-2004, 11:23 AM | ||
Dear Buffy, No No No!!!! Don't do that. The easy way to get 400 speed the be 800 speed is to: Pull all film out of its little thingy it is in Dip your finger tips in olive oil Fold film in half Shove it back in little thingy Now you can load it in your camera and you are ready to go. Now go take some great pix! Peckery |
| Posted by: MacEoghainn 27-Jun-2004, 11:25 AM |
| Dear Peckery, With the help of Dr. Silverberg I've realized what your advice caused me to do. So I've broken out of the Florida State Hospital for the Criminally Insane (I was going to throw a big Porcelain Water Fountain thru the window, but I found it was easier just to sneak out the door the maintenance man left unlocked). I know where you live and coming to rip your stuffing out you little Sockmonkey!!!  |
| Posted by: urian 27-Jun-2004, 11:34 AM |
| dear Peckboy, I have found the secret to the meanign of life. It is 42. some try to argue that its actually llama but I tend to disagree. I always end up pickling those that disagree with me. Since our last correspondence had such an impact on my life I feel I need your opinion on this. Signed, Deranged,Depraved and doodling 42!!! |
| Posted by: peckery 27-Jun-2004, 01:37 PM | ||
Dear MacCheese I'm sorry my advise did not help you. It has worked for everybody else, so my only conclusion is that you are very, very dumb. Slarb hinted at this, but would not go into detail. I know Dr. Silverberg and he is a quack. Finished bottom of his class. He has corrupted your mind. You are not well. I will send Slarb and Flard down to help you out. Don't forget your foil hat. Peckery |
| Posted by: peckery 27-Jun-2004, 01:39 PM | ||
Dear 3D Monkey Monkey most high Peckery |
| Posted by: MDF3530 27-Jun-2004, 06:43 PM |
| Dear Peckery- I am a baseball expert for ESPN. Why do viewers to the show I'm on every night think I have too much gel in my hair? Signed, Rob Dibble |
| Posted by: peckery 27-Jun-2004, 10:49 PM | ||
Dear R-dib The movie There's Something About Mary comes to mind. People fear for your safety. If you remember when Michael Jackson's head caught fire while making the Pepsi ad, it was because of excessive hair gel usage. You are a damn fine looking man and don't need that sissy gel.. Peckery PS Who does your nails...they are fabulous |
| Posted by: Kassia 02-Jul-2004, 12:59 AM |
| Dear Peckery, Are monkey bristle brushes good for painting? Kassia ps my youngest decided to put the flea ridden wombat aside, and have his brother shave his head in a mohawk. except when it is waxed and and you see him from the front , he looks like a kewpi doll. when he forgets to wax it and lets it hang down flacid, he looks like a bare faced Hitler. What's a mother to do?? |
| Posted by: maisky 02-Jul-2004, 04:58 AM |
| Dear Peckery, King of Vice, It has come to our attention that bits of good advise have drifted into your advice column. This must CEASE, or I will hold my breath until I turn blue! Otherwise, you are doing a SUPERB job of messing with people's minds. |
| Posted by: peckery 02-Jul-2004, 08:00 AM | ||
Dear Kassia You should bakini wax the older son and send him down to work the boulevard down north of Disneyland. That way your husband can drop him off aand pick him up on his way to work. The younger one you should just slap around and say things like "I brought you into this world and I can sure as hell take you out." Children respond well to this kind off love. Peckery PS Has my Godson returned home on leave yet??? Say Hi! his Uncle Greg |
| Posted by: peckery 02-Jul-2004, 08:07 AM | ||
My Lord, Thank you for your kind words. I am just a fun loving Peckery that is often misunderstood. I don't remember giving out any GOOD advice though. Where did I slip up??? Drive down to Indy next week. We have a local show for a change. You can stay at Casa Peckery if you are not allergic to dogs or cats!!! So what's it like with a key to the MODS washroom. |
| Posted by: peckery 02-Jul-2004, 08:12 AM |
| Dear Kasia Almost forgot. Monkey hair brushes??? Baby seal is much better. |
| Posted by: maisky 02-Jul-2004, 08:37 AM | ||||
Thanks for the kind offer, but I wax wonderous broke, being unemployed for the next week or 2. This just comes with the territory as a contract engineer. Otherwise, I would LOVE to come hear you folks play again.  Key to the Mods restroom? My position is entirely honorary, requiring me to use the bushes out back like everybody else. |
| Posted by: Kassia 02-Jul-2004, 02:18 PM | ||||
Yes he has landed, looking very dapper in one of the shirts that you got for him. I was just going to compliment him on his taste, when he disclosed where he had gotten them all brothers in an uproar. I think that they are all 5 years old again ,, except all at the same time. any suggestions from the great one?? Kassia |
| Posted by: peckery 02-Jul-2004, 04:44 PM | ||||||
Dear Kassia Tell the twitbirds to be nice to their older brother. He is going to Korea to protect the world from Kim Jong Puffyhair, after all. Bought him some nice clothes when he visited. Hard finding stylish clothes in XXXL on a military salary. |
| Posted by: A Shrule Egan 03-Jul-2004, 10:34 AM |
| Dear Peckery: I was checking out this hotel on Mackinac Island, Mich. and it bills itself to have the worlds largest veranda. Can you tell me how many gallons of paint are need to paint this place? http://www.grandhotel.com/default.html Thanks, A.S.E. (or sometimes referred to as A.S.S.) |
| Posted by: Herrerano 03-Jul-2004, 10:39 AM |
| Dear Peckery, Do you have a heart? Curious |
| Posted by: peckery 03-Jul-2004, 03:49 PM | ||
Dear ASE I need the following information to answer your question. Are we painting entire exterior and interior? Number of rooms? Same as existing color? Spray or brush and roller? Number of coats? (Prime plus two or three top coats) Level of sheen? Rain fall average (for exterior) Yearly temp range? Thanks Peckery |
| Posted by: peckery 03-Jul-2004, 03:52 PM | ||
Dear Curious I used to have a heart. Now I'm just in it for the money and the chicks. |
| Posted by: A Shrule Egan 03-Jul-2004, 09:09 PM |
| Are we painting entire exterior and interior? Just the exterior. Number of rooms? 385 guest rooms with no two decorated the same. Same as existing color? Yes! Spray or brush and roller? Only an idiot not looking to make a profit would use a brush and roller. Number of coats? (Prime plus two or three top coats) Primer plus two coats. Level of sheen? Satin and Semi-gloss for trim. Rain fall average (for exterior) Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec Year mm 27.4 49.4 51.1 50.5 147.1 66.5 67.4 64.9 159.3 109.0 72.3 64.9 930.6 inches 1.1 1.9 2.0 2.0 5.8 2.6 2.7 2.6 6.3 4.3 2.8 2.6 36.6 Yearly temp range? CLIMATE Average Temperatures Summer High 75 Low 48 Winter High 26 Low 9 |
| Posted by: peckery 03-Jul-2004, 10:34 PM | ||
Dear ASE When I said sprayer or brush or roller, maybe I should of said restoration quality (brush and roller) or maintenance paint job via sprayer. The roller and brush job would bid higher reflecting the man hours and amount of paint needed. Spraying only needs one half of the paint of a restoration paint job, but only lasts a third as long. To spray exterior would take 325 gal of primer @ 200 sf coverage and 325 gal finish coat@ 400sf gallon (two coats) 30 gallons of semi gloss for trim for a total of 680. This is assuming you want a regular latex base and not an elostomeric. If you want elastomeric finish, multiply finish coat gallons needed by eight. Peckery |
| Posted by: maisky 05-Jul-2004, 07:13 AM |
| GEEE Peckery REALLY IS an expert on stuff. What exactly is in that sock puppet head to make him so smart? |
| Posted by: Kassia 05-Jul-2004, 11:19 PM | ||
nothing too special; but the Wizard gave him a Diploma just before the Winged Monkeys dropped him on his head..... |
| Posted by: WizardofOwls 06-Jul-2004, 03:43 AM |
| (The Wizard pops in) Hmm? Diploma? When did I... OH! Wrong Wizard! Sorry! (The Wizard pops back out again! ) |
| Posted by: peckery 06-Jul-2004, 08:36 PM | ||
Dear Lady asking about Socks that get lost in Dryer, There is a worm hole in your dryer. It also eats your money, spair time, youth, sleep, love, memories (good ones) pens, keys, and TV remote. You must move. I'm sorry. Peckery |
| Posted by: MDF3530 07-Jul-2004, 06:18 PM | ||
Dear Peckery- You forgot that it also eats your eyesight . It'll never eat my keys. I got 'em on a good metal clip on my belt loop . |
| Posted by: peckery 07-Jul-2004, 09:54 PM | ||||
Yeah Mike . Tell me about. I have to have my 6th surgery on my "good" eye in a few weeks. Diabetic complications. The joy, the rapture. |
| Posted by: A Shrule Egan 08-Jul-2004, 07:14 PM |
| Dear Peckery: If this should appear at my door at Halloween, what should I do????  http://www.celticradio.net/php/forums/index.php?act=Attach&type=post&id=72007 signed, Horrified |
| Posted by: Annabelle 08-Jul-2004, 07:20 PM |
| I'm gonna have nightmare's now!!!!! I think someone needs to refer me to a good therapist! A |
| Posted by: A Shrule Egan 08-Jul-2004, 07:30 PM |
| Since Dr. Peckery is stuck in one place now, I believe he has plenty of time to take on new patients. I recommend him highly. |
| Posted by: Annabelle 08-Jul-2004, 07:36 PM |
| Dr. Peckery, I need an appt! Do I get to lay down on the couch? Sshould I bring my boo boo blanket? Can I take a nap too or will you charge me for that time too? A |
| Posted by: peckery 09-Jul-2004, 09:41 PM | ||
Dear Horrified, OK. Take it easy. Looks like you got some bad acid. Stare into the mirror until your face melts and you will be fine. Dr. Peckery Leary |
| Posted by: peckery 09-Jul-2004, 09:44 PM | ||
Dear A, I think naked therapy is an appropriate option here. Peckery |
| Posted by: Annabelle 10-Jul-2004, 08:58 PM |
| Dear peckery, I have this friend who keeps coming over and raiding my Maker's Mark. I've taken precautions and hidden it in the house and he still finds my stash....how can I tell him he needs to buy the next round? mm lover |
| Posted by: peckery 11-Jul-2004, 09:37 AM |
| Dear MM lover It sounds to me that you have a split personality. You have created an alter ego so that you can drink twice as much, and blame it on someone else.......God that's BRILLIANT!. Don't forget to fill the ice tray. Dr. Peckery |
| Posted by: MDF3530 11-Jul-2004, 01:45 PM |
| Dear Peckery- I'm more of a fan of open wheel racing (IRL, Formula One) than I am of NASCAR. To me, the application of the term "stock" to the NASCAR cars is a total misnomer since very little, except for maybe the chassis and the steering wheel, on those cars is street legal. Can you explain the fascination people have with NASCAR? Signed, Michael Schumacher's Stalker |
| Posted by: peckery 11-Jul-2004, 03:06 PM | ||
Dear Stalker, There is nothing stock in stock cars. Have you ever seen a two door Ford Taurus???? Teams that have great aero packages are punished for having better wind tunnel guys. If one team (manufacture) finds a way to get more ponies out of the car, that advantage is taken away. If they use restrictor plates and try to make it a drivers race, the dirty drivers who like to play demolition derby usually win. In open wheel racing, no advantages are given or taken away. A great driver can coax a victory out of a not so great car, and a great car like the Williams Mansel won the world championship with with traction control, auto gearbox and fuel mgt, could of be driven home by the most average of F 1 drivers. Open wheel is for race fans, NASCAR is for necks. Peckery Andretti |
| Posted by: MDF3530 11-Jul-2004, 04:28 PM | ||||
Dear Peckery Andretti- You sound like an open wheel fan who has the luxury of having the greatest race ever in your backyard and hate it when the rednecks come in for their yearly desecration of a sacred ground. Is that true? Signed, The Doppleganger of Mike Lazier |
| Posted by: peckery 11-Jul-2004, 05:21 PM | ||||||
Dear Dopple, The IRL is full of Import Rednecks. I miss the CART days of the Indy 500. If the toothless knuckle-scrappers want to take over the IMS for one week a year I guess that is OK, but you won't see me there or anyone else with branches in their family tree. Peckery Senna |
| Posted by: Annabelle 12-Jul-2004, 06:48 AM |
| Dear Peckery, I am MM lover's alter ego and I have a question too? How come she won't give me peanuts with my MM? or a little chips and dip would be nice? What's her problem? Thank you, Needin A snack |
| Posted by: peckery 12-Jul-2004, 01:49 PM | ||
Dear Snackasaur She may have two personalities but that does not mean she wants two chins. She is not a Chinese phone book. |
| Posted by: Annabelle 12-Jul-2004, 10:23 PM |
| Dear Dr. Peckery, I have a social problem of stiring my drink ( MM & coke sometimes) with my finger and then sucking my finger clean. I've been told that it not socially correct, but it taste so good....what should I do? I've been to a rehabilitation center for sucker's but I can't break the habit. What should I do now? superfinger |
| Posted by: peckery 12-Jul-2004, 11:01 PM | ||
Dear Superfinger, What did you do for a living again? (Don't wanna get kicked off so we will leave it at that )Remember, suck, don't lick. |
| Posted by: Annabelle 13-Jul-2004, 02:56 PM |
| I'm so glad we can discuss our problems and keep our identities hidden! Whew! |
| Posted by: Annabelle 13-Jul-2004, 03:04 PM |
| Dear Dr. Peckery, I have a friend (yea that's what they all say) that she is always putting in her 2 cents into every conversation and she listen's in on my conversation's when she's not included in that conversation...how do I tell her to stop being so nosey? Signed wanttoputupawall |
| Posted by: birddog20002001 13-Jul-2004, 04:29 PM |
| Well when I was 10 I would tell them this is an A B conversation you need to C your way out oh wait, sorry. |
| Posted by: peckery 13-Jul-2004, 04:30 PM | ||
Dear Wally I think you will have to kill her. It's the only way. Peckery |
| Posted by: Kassia 13-Jul-2004, 09:50 PM |
| dear peckery, my desk mate at work is driving me crazy!!! before the library opens, she chomps away on her breakfast/lunch with her mouth open and lips smacking. she constantly talks to herself, and does not make sense when she does....she is very nosy, and if you tell her anything, the whole world knows about it about four hours later...... other than killing her, and taking tranquilizers, what can I do ??? Kassia |
| Posted by: peckery 13-Jul-2004, 10:16 PM | ||
Dear Kassia First of all, I would only talk to her when necessary. She has already proven herself as one you can not tell something in confidence to. Tell her or have someone else higher up the food chain that she has to eat in the lunch room, that is what it is for. As far as her talking to herself, when she does it say "What?" Do this every time she talks to herself around you. If she has to stop every time and explain herself, she might stop doing it. If these things fail, drug her then kill her. |
| Posted by: maisky 15-Jul-2004, 05:10 AM |
| OOPs! Peckery is giving good advise again! Personnaly, I would, knowing her habit of gossip, invent some REALLY juicy things about her bosses to tell her. If anybody asks, deny everything. |
| Posted by: peckery 15-Jul-2004, 07:26 AM | ||
You could put LSD in her coffee. The kids would love that |
| Posted by: greenldydragon 19-Jul-2004, 12:00 PM |
| Where you a pecker before you became the peckery? |
| Posted by: peckery 19-Jul-2004, 12:25 PM | ||
I was a Little Pecker |
| Posted by: greenldydragon 19-Jul-2004, 12:57 PM |
| Do you even know what a pecker, in my language, is? A marching band drummer. |
| Posted by: Kassia 21-Jul-2004, 11:16 PM | ||
that is just TOO weird!! |
| Posted by: peckery 22-Jul-2004, 04:26 PM | ||
What language? What do they call a..... a..........Never mind. |
| Posted by: MDF3530 22-Jul-2004, 04:34 PM |
| Dear Peckery- What is the generally accepted procedure for getting rid of lint from your belly button? Confuzed |
| Posted by: peckery 22-Jul-2004, 07:23 PM | ||
Dear Fuzzy, I don't have a bellybutton. But if you spread peanutbutter on your navel, a dog will handle it for you. |
| Posted by: A Shrule Egan 31-Jul-2004, 08:31 AM |
| Dear Peckery: WHERE ARE YOU??????  |
| Posted by: Shadows 02-Aug-2004, 10:52 AM |
| Peckery was last seen boarding the good ship HMS Moderator that's manifest stated points unknown as the destination. |
| Posted by: Annabelle 02-Aug-2004, 07:15 PM |
| No he wasnt! He's in the spin cycle! |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 02-Aug-2004, 07:17 PM | ||
Is he allowed to drip dry? |
| Posted by: Annabelle 02-Aug-2004, 07:31 PM |
| if you put him in the Dryer please don't forget the dryer tissue we all can't stand the static electricity. |
| Posted by: BluegrassLady 03-Aug-2004, 06:34 AM |
| Some socks have gotten lost in the dryer.......you know how socks hate to ask for directions. |
| Posted by: MacEoghainn 04-Aug-2004, 07:35 PM |
| I really regret bringing this information to all of Peckery's beloved readers but I found this article in the Podunk Indiana Gazette and Mullet Wrapper: Aug 4, 8:24 AM (ET) Peckery Found Dead By R.A. KNESSMAN Podunk Indiana: World famous Sock Monkey and Bon Vivant, Peckery, was found dead in his home today by Podunk Police. The Podunk Police Chief, Mervin Leeroy, would only say that the murder was under investigation and a suspect was in custody. This reporter has obtained exclusive information from confidential sources close to the investigation that described the murder scene as "Horrific". It was reported there was stuffing strewn throughout the house and the victim's legs and arms where each found in individual rooms. His tail had been tied into a neat bow and hung on the front door. The most gruesome scene was found in the kitchen where the victims severed head was found in the microwave oven with what appeared to be an exploded banana in his mouth. Also the words Slarb, Klaatu, Barada, Nikto, and Alpha Centauri where scrawled on many of the interior walls of the house in pink crayon. A deranged escaped mental patient from Florida, who had threatened to "get Peckery" in his much beloved advice column, is currently in police custody. So far the only comments obtained by the police from the suspect is "There's no place like home, There's no place like home...." as he continually clicks his heels together. This reporter will continue to follow this case and update my readers as the case unfolds. |
| Posted by: A Shrule Egan 04-Aug-2004, 07:40 PM |
| Dear Dr. Peckery: Isn't it nice to know, the party still lives on, on Peckery Island?      signed, disorderly goofball |
| Posted by: Kassia 05-Aug-2004, 12:29 AM | ||
now.... .we HAVE to have a wake for the dear monkey::r.i.p. ....any ideas ??? somebody want to host it and the open bar? Yes, we have no bananas!!!!  can we have pizza??? just no melted cheese in Peckery's memory.there is no such thing as sock monkey zombies, are there? a ghost can't haunt a forum, can it? |
| Posted by: Sea Dog 05-Aug-2004, 01:38 AM |
| I seen more info in the "Mysterious Demise" thread. I heared from an old shipmate the puir old Peckery aint been the same since he got sent through a fluff cycle a whilst back. But we are going to pursue the bloody beggars that done him in all the way to the bier of Tusitala if necessary. But I ain't swimmin in the creek with the natives this time. got a heck of a case of Aggie Grey's Revenge |
| Posted by: Herrerano 05-Aug-2004, 09:32 AM |
| Oh yes, Aggie Grey's Revenge. So it did come from that blasted water after all. It is self limiting though because after a few days you just simply die. Leo |
| Posted by: Liriel Baenre Do'Urden 05-Aug-2004, 12:56 PM |
| Ahh, poor Peckery, Should we maybe start a scholarship fund for his poor sock triplets? He will be sorely missed. |
| Posted by: Richard Bercot 05-Aug-2004, 03:48 PM |
| Has anybody checked up on Sockabelle and the Triplets? I would hate for news like this to go out over the net without their knowledge first. |
| Posted by: Herrerano 05-Aug-2004, 04:45 PM |
| Remember, one of those "poor" triplets is president elect of Panama, and besides that is drinking me out of house and home. Not to mention what he has done to the local banana market and girls school. He has given new meaning to the term lint ball. Some sort of 12 step program might be a good start, but if I can find a cop he hasn't bought off I think the best thing is just get the little ragdoll chucked in the slammer. Some place like http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/photo/dayinphotos/G38572-2004Jul09.html would give him a whole new perspective on tropical fruit. Leo |