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Sekhmet 
Posted: 30-Apr-2007, 08:57 PM
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ZodiacAlder

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Ok, new game I just learned and spent the afternoon about hurting myself reading and playing it.

Rules are simple.

First poster (me) asks a question. You reply with *the* worst advice you could possibly come up with to answer. Then follow it up with your own question.

Ready?

Ok, so my mother in law is coming to dinner for her birthday. What should I cook?
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Antonio 
Posted: 30-Apr-2007, 09:37 PM
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ZodiacIvy

Realm: Tracy, California U.S.A.

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You should cook her a meal of banana slugs and earth worms sauted in horse radish and vinegar sauce, and for the main course Deep fried fresh road kill possum and some Pine needle tea to wash it all down. And a birthday cake made with diced onions and whole garlic, also 102 candles on it.

One of the drivers just called me and told me! he bent the new bumper we just put on his truck last Friday evening. What should I do?.


--------------------
Semper Fi

"If a man has found nothing he's willing to die for, he is not ready to live"

DISCIPLINE MUST BE A HABIT SO INGRAINED THAT IT IS STRONGER THAN THE EXCITEMENT OF BATTLE OR THE FEAR OF DEATH.
General George S. Patton

Laws that forbid the carrying of firearms, disarm only those who are neither inclined nor determined to commit crimes. Such laws make things worse for the assulted, and better for the assailants. They serve rather to encourge, than to prevent homicides. For an unarmed man may be attacked with greater confidence than an armed man.

Thomas Jefferson
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Sekhmet 
Posted: 30-Apr-2007, 10:57 PM
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Ask him if he buried the body. wink.gif

I'm going back to school next fall. What classes should I take?
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Lady of the Loch 
Posted: 01-May-2007, 06:19 AM
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ZodiacBirch

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statistics of course! Make sure you don't buy any calculators or books to help too, cause it would just be a waste of your time. Don't visit a tutor and don't show up half the time, you will do fine wink.gif

I have poison ivy on my arms from working in the yard this weekend, what should I do?
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Sekhmet 
Posted: 01-May-2007, 06:52 PM
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Keep scratching. Every time you think about it, give it a scratch. Oh, and if you can get it to spread, that makes it *thinner*, so it will clear up faster. Might want to consider bathing it with kerosene every so often. It helps.


I have a very small house...what kind of dog should I get?
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Lady of the Loch 
Posted: 02-May-2007, 05:47 AM
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ZodiacBirch

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A St. Bernard would be just fine! Don't mind the dog hair either, it only adds to the place!

I dropped some eggs on the floor this morning, what should I do with them?
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Líadan Siofra 
Posted: 02-May-2007, 04:06 PM
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Realm: Idaho

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Scoop them up into a pan, lightly scramble them (shells and all, of course) and enjoy!

I have an appointment with a college counselor tomorrow. What should I say to him?
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mydogisaleprechaun 
Posted: 02-May-2007, 10:18 PM
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ZodiacHolly

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burst though the door, let the light aroma of cigarettes and hard liquor follow you in. simply tell him your late because you've been stung out and drunk for the entirety of last week. To top it all off, your alarm clock didn't go off because you pawned it for drug money...You WOULD'VE been there on time but you had to get the taste of scotch whiskey and hooker spit out of your mouth! This must be said with a straight face, and look like you're about to topple over...even though you're sitting down!
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maisky 
Posted: 03-May-2007, 05:48 AM
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ZodiacIvy

Realm: Easton, PA

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You might consider taking MORE perscription drugs, so that you dont forget to keep the thread going... tongue.gif

My boss thinks I spend too much time posting on CR. What should I do?


--------------------
"If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe."
Carl Sagan
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pflanary 
Posted: 03-May-2007, 06:33 AM
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ZodiacElder

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Keep posting--after all what's more important? Earning a lliving or having fun!

I want a new job, what should I do?

PS thanks for starting this, Sekhmet--looks like it will be great fun!


--------------------
God then made man. The Italians for their beauty. The French for their cuisine. The Welsh for their voices. The Germans for their cars. And on and on until He looked at what He had created and said, "This is all very well, but no-one is having fun. I'll have to make an Irishman."
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maisky 
Posted: 03-May-2007, 07:06 AM
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ZodiacIvy

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Dress in a really short skirt and stand on the street corner. Smile and wave at all the cars that go by.

My wife just bought me a new bass boat, how should I repay her kindness?
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Sekhmet 
Posted: 03-May-2007, 01:36 PM
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Why, with lots of bass, of course! Plunk 'em on the counter she just cleaned not ten minutes ago and announce you'll be drinking beer on the porch if she goes looking for you for dinner. Mmm...bass.

My son is turning into a climber-baby. Should I start moving the furniture around?
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pflanary 
Posted: 04-May-2007, 09:02 AM
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ZodiacElder

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Rearrange the furniture to give him more and higher things to climb. You may want to change it around periodically to give him new challenges.

My house desperately needs cleaning, what should I do?
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John Clements 
Posted: 04-May-2007, 10:35 AM
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Move, or just stay out side, either way its cleaner.

My brother-in-law’s 60th birthday is coming up, and I was thinking of toasting him at the party by saying: Come on man… You don’t look 60… You look more like 65. What do you think?


--------------------
We’re all poets, only some of us write it down. JC 9/27/08

Anyone who has the courage to disagree, deserves all do respect. JC 4/28/08

Life is a loosing battle, so you might as well live it up.
J.C. 3/29/08

Life should be like skiing, you have the most fun on the way down. J.C. 8/17/07

Take their word for it, and that’s just what you’ll get.
J.C. 3/19/07

Only the truth is worth the ultimate sacrifice.
J.C. 1/26/06

Compared to the far right, the far left is somewhere in the middle. J.C. 2/22/06

I’ll be the first to apologies, as long as I get one back.
J.C. 3/7/06

It’s a happy man, who can laugh at himself.

If you’re looking for a new experience, don’t hire someone with a lot of it. J.C. sometime in 1990
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Aaediwen 
Posted: 04-May-2007, 04:31 PM
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ZodiacHolly

Realm: Kentucky

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Naaw, probably something like "To the man who ages the best of anyone on the planet! We really thought you were 80!"

Top that off with telling him you've already found a good retirement home for him.

Just bought a brand new Ferrarri.... (no, not really. I'd not shame the car that much even if I could afford it)


--------------------
Poet and seeker of knowledge



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