Ok, That said...here goes...
Q. What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
A. Juan on Juan
Q. What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?
A. The position of the dirt bag
Q. Why is air a lot like sex?
A. Because it's no big deal unless you're not getting any
Q. Why are there no Mexican Firefighters?
A. They can’t tell “Jose” from “Hose B”
Q. What do you call a smart blonde?
A. A golden retriever.
Q. What do attorneys use for birth control?
A. Their personalities.
Q. Who is the most popular guy at a Mexican wedding?
A. The guy with the jumper-cables
Q. What's the difference between a girlfriend and wife?
A. 45 lbs
Q. What's the difference between a boyfriend and husband?
A. 45 minutes
Q. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
A. Because those men already have boyfriends.
Q. What's the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A. After a year, the dog is still excited to see you
Q. What makes men chase after women they have no intention of marrying?
A. The same urge that makes dogs chase after cars they have no intention of driving.
Q. Why don't bunnies make noise when they make love?
A. Because they have cotton balls.
Q. What's the difference between a Porcupine and BMW?
A. A Porcupine has the pricks on the outside.
Q. What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?
A. "Are you sure it's mine?"
Q. Why does Mike Tyson cry during sex?
A. Mace will do that to you.
Q. Why did OJ Simpson want to move to West Virginia?
A. Everyone has the same DNA.
Q. Did you hear about the dyslexic Rabbi?
A. He walks around saying "Yo."
Q. Why do Drivers' Ed classes in Redneck schools use the car only on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays?
A. Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.
Q. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A. A different Pub.
Q. Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
A. They named him "Sum Ting Wong”
Q. What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
A. A speech impediment.
Q. What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
A. They're hiring.
Q. What's the difference between a Southern US Zoo and a Northern US Zoo?
A. A Southern US Zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage along with..."A recipe".
Q. How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
A. Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!
Q. What's the difference between a Northern US fairytale and a Southern US fairytale?
A. A Northern US fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." and a Southern US fairytale begins; "Y'all ain't gonna believe this sh*t..."
Q. Why is there no Disneyland in China?
A. No one's tall enough to go on the good rides
Q. What do you call a girl with one leg?
A. Eileen
Q. What do you call a Japanese girl with only one leg?
A. Irene
Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the ocean?
A. Bob
Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the bushes?
A. Russell
Q. How do you get a one armed Polack hanging from a tree limb to let go?
A. Wave
Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs who is Waterskiing?
A. Skip
Q. What are the only words that will make an Irishman run?
A. “Drinks are on the house”
Lil
