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Sea Dog 
Posted: 27-Jul-2004, 12:41 AM
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Constable Dogberry has been assigned to the case. rolleyes.gif

I believe that Doctor Pinch was the attending physician. sad.gif

This post has been edited by Sea Dog on 27-Jul-2004, 01:02 AM


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Sea Dog 
Posted: 05-Aug-2004, 02:22 AM
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Understand that a posse of stout hearted lads was formed to search out the miscreants w'er they be bound. Maybe they were tanked on stout? Well they were all lads and a scurvier lot never sailed or my name ain't Black Dog

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Herrerano 
Posted: 07-Aug-2004, 02:10 PM
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When I awoke, my hands and feet were bound and a gag had been tied fiercly across my mouth. The room was dark, and I knew from the rocking motion that we were at sea. My last memory had been while I was ashore in Portobello, seeking to reprovision my boat. I had entered one of the narrow streets searching for the tienda I had been told was there to look for a replacement for some of my gear that had become unserviceable. As I had passed an entry way for what surely was a sorry excuse for a cantina I heard a slight cough over the background of laughter and voices speaking in Spanish. Then it seemed that lights exploded inside my head and that was my final memory until now, awaking in this waterborn prison.

I knew this was not my pleasant little ketch and from the stench and the sounds of rats feet scurrying about, that I had been imprisoned on a most foul boat. I tried to work my hands loose in the darkness, but the bonds were simply too tight. With my tongue and teeth I did manage to loosen the gag a bit and gulped the rancid air hungrily. Not long afterwards I heard a scraping and shuffling of feet approaching and the door to my prison was thrown open. There, outlined against the light of the lanterns in the passageway stood a most horrific figure. I caught my breath and my mind reeled with the realization that I had been captured by creatures of the most horrible sort. I had known there were still brigands and thieves in this part of the world, but this pirate was legendary. Fear filled my heart and soul as I surveyed his evil countenance. Certainly I was lost, and I feared not only for my life, but for my very soul.

From his hairless head, to the bottoms of his toeless, woven feet the essence of cruelty seeped forth. I wanted to scream, but instead, mercifully, conciousness fled with my terror and I fainted away.



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Kassia 
Posted: 11-Aug-2004, 01:05 AM
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Oh, no!!!! What ever did you do??


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Herrerano 
Posted: 11-Aug-2004, 09:06 AM
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It was some time later when I came to again. I felt horrible, my legs and arms, although bound tight, had a lethargy that was hard to fathom. My head hurt with a ferocious pain, and my mouth felt as if I had been stuffing it with those putrid dust bunnies one finds under the bed during spring cleaning. I felt horrible.

I could tell by the motion of the cabin that we were under sail at sea, and that peculiar humming sound and the vibration of the boat seemed to indicate we were on a broad reach. That seemed to indicate we were headed in a southerly direction, but where to I wondered.

A small amount of light was leaking into my prision, but not really enough to illuminate anything. My mind was active, far too active, trying to puzzle out what had happened to me. What did my captor want? Why had he chosen me I wondered. The very thought of him filled me with a cold dread impossible to convey.

Once again I heard footsteps shuffling woolenly outside my prison door. My heart leapt to my throat and I practically gagged. What next?

The door opened and once again there stood that horrible visage, framed in the doorway. Oh Gawd! What a foul and horrible creature.



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Herrerano 
Posted: 24-Aug-2004, 06:46 PM
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He was even uglier then before. I couldn't help myself and a scream leaped forth from my lips.

Once more I fainted.

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deckers 
Posted: 26-Aug-2004, 09:28 AM
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That's incredible. Did you get away?!?!

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Herrerano 
Posted: 27-Aug-2004, 10:02 AM
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It seemed like weeks before I came to again, still tied up in this hellish cabin on a squalid ship captained by the most evil looking sockmonkey I had ever seen. I seemed to drift in and out of conciousness for some time, and remember hearing weird chanting, the beating of drums, and the shuffling of many knitted feet on the deck above. I couldn't understand the words that were chanted, but like I said, I was drifting in and out of conciousness.

Finally I awoke to find that my hands had been freed and a plate of overripe bananas had been placed in my cell. I slowly rose and checked the door, but it remained locked. Moving to the side of the cabin, I could peer out through a tiny crack and see that we were on the high seas. I had no idea where we were, but judging by the number of derelict ships, still with dinner cooking in the galley, World War 2 fighter planes gleaming faintly below the sea, and Cubans on rafts I slowly realized we were sailing right through the Bermuda Triangle. If I hadn't been so well rested after those weeks of sleep, I would have fainted again. I looked over at the bananas, and felt my stomach growl in hunger, then I fell on them as if I were starving, devouring every one as rapidly as possible.
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TheCarolinaScotsman 
Posted: 27-Aug-2004, 10:29 AM
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QUOTE (Herrerano @ 27-Aug-2004, 11:02 AM)

Finally I awoke to find that my hands had been freed and a plate of overripe bananas had been placed in my cell.

The fiends!! They could have at least included some ice cream and hot fudge sauce.


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maisky 
Posted: 28-Aug-2004, 01:36 PM
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The horror!!!! No sprinkles?! sad.gif
No Beer to wash it down? rolleyes.gif


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Herrerano 
Posted: 02-Sep-2004, 05:36 PM
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After eating, I sat in a corner and tried to think over my situation. I could tell by the fading light that night was coming, and realized that it had been during the night that I had been hearing that chanting and shuffling sound from the deck above. I sat and thought as my hands idly moved around. I felt strange, sort of disjointed and anxious. Of course, being captured by this band of evil pirates was horrible enough to cause anyone to feel bad, I couldn't help thinking something else was wrong.

Soon it was black with darkness, hours seemed to pass, and then I heard the chanting and shuffling start again. A rythmic sound, it almost seemed reassuring except I was certain its purpose must be one of absolute horror and evil. Not long after it started I heard someone approaching my door, then the rattle of keys and the door was opened.
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Sea Dog 
  Posted: 08-Sep-2004, 01:45 PM
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Beer and Bananas? BEER AND BANANAS? You know what that does on an enclosed space on a ship when your only light is a $10 cheap knock-off propane lantern from Harbor Freight. Why that's an explosive atmosphere!

Bunches of big bad bananas bring butt bazookas. unsure.gif sad.gif


(OK OK it fell apart at the end but I ran aground on a shoal of no ideas)

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AShruleEgan 
Posted: 08-Sep-2004, 08:07 PM
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QUOTE (Sea Dog @ 08-Sep-2004, 02:45 PM)

Bunches of big bad bananas bring butt bazookas. unsure.gif sad.gif


(OK OK it fell apart at the end but I ran aground on a shoal of no ideas)

scared.gif Whew, for a minute there, I thought you were being influenced by Peckery.

king.gif
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Herrerano 
Posted: 14-Sep-2004, 06:00 PM
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The door burst open and six of the ugliest creatures I had ever seen stood framed in the doorway. I was powerless to resist them and they moved into the room pinning my arms to my sides and forcing me to my feet. They marched me through the door and up a short ladder to the main deck. By now the moon was out in all of it?s fullness illuminating the wretched ship that was my prison. I was forced forward and finally secured against the mizzen with stout ropes. What I saw before me was a scene straight from the darkest depths of a cheap horror movie.

The entire crew was present and for the first time I saw how horrible and hopeless my situation was. They were all sock monkeys. But not your typical cuddly looking, dormitory inhabiting sock monkeys, these were horrible woven beasts. Some with their button eyes missing, or just hanging by loose threads. Some of them with gaping moth holes, kapok filling oozing from their horrible wounds. Some were so frayed they looked like walking balls of yarn. And to a one they were covered in the most fearsome lint one could imagine. Obviously it had been years since any of these creatures had seen the working side of a roll of masking tape. The thought of the rampant dust bunnies these creatures had spawned made me gag and I almost lost my bananas.

Some of them proceeded to produce instruments and play a heathen cacophony on their tamboritos and flautas producing the most hideous yet compelling music. Others started to sing a repetitious series of chanting words, a strange mixture of Spanish, Portuguese and Creole in an oddly bewitching tone.

Many were puffing on cheap cigars, Roi Tans, and White Owls, and even one had a William Penn stuffed in his fake mouth, but the ugliest and biggest one was stoking a big Cohiba (apparently he cared nothing for the embargo). They seemed to be performing some sort of ceremony as they sang and played and danced and smoked and I slowly realized they were engaged in some kind of Santeria, as they produced their saints and started to blow cigar smoke on them.

I was bound securely to the mast and could not move a muscle. The singing and drum beating grew more intense and a horrible fear and dread filled my heart. The evilest looking sock monkey stepped forward and taking the cigar in his fingerless hands he blew smoke in my face and then in the four cardinal directions.

I mustered all of my strength and with my last willful breath cried out in my best Kenneth Brannagh voice, ?Achieve me and then sell my bones.? I saw him laughing as I lost consciousness.

When I awoke, the moon was setting. My hands were free and someone had set a small bunch of bananas in front of me which I fell on immediately. I felt so strange, so disjointed and soft and flexible. My mind reeled back and it was as if I were remembering someone else?s life. Odd images that flooded my mind until finally the memory of a distant Wal Mart shelf fixed itself in my consciousness.

The fuzz ball in front of me then produced a small hand held mirror, embossed on the back with a Barbie silhouette and held it out for me to see myself. It was then I knew the whole awful truth. I was now one of them. My sewn on smile leered obscenely in the looking glass and as I raised my hands to my face I saw that they had been tightly knitted without fingers. One thought went through my head. Then just two words passed from my yarn lips, ?Monkey, Monkey.?

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TheCarolinaScotsman 
Posted: 15-Sep-2004, 03:49 PM
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Obviously a ship load of soles condemned to eternal darnation.
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