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Now why am I upset? And more importantly why am I whining here? You guys don't have to read if you don't want, I understand completely. I'm just icky lately and I'm not quite sure why. Well I have a few ideas and I'll moan about them here.
Well the day before my birthday the man I love decides he doesn't feel the connection anymore and so breaks up with me. We still hang out on a regular basis and nothing's changed save for the "Boy-friend" "Girl-friend" titles. He treats me the same and we still have fun together. I don't understand what I did wrong. He says nothing, but how do I know he's not just saying that to make me not be so icky. It hurts. It really really hurts. I want it to stop hurting, but I don't know how. He's... he's wonderful, he makes me feel like I am sombody, as though I have worth. Now I know that I have worth anyway, but knowing and feeling are two different things. Ghad I don't mean to be such a baby about this. Poetic justice I guess, for being so cold-hearted in high school. I was so mean! I feel horrible about the things that I did. I'd toy with peoples minds. I convinced one person that Concubine was a goddess and so being called one was a compliment. geeze... I wish I could take all that back, be nice, ya know?
Thanksgiving was fun... for the most part. I went to my theatre friends house (Cat, the one who wrote on my profile) and we played a playstation2 game: Karaoke Revolution2 that another friend of hers brought over. Everyone was having fun! I can't sing (well) and they got me to sing anyway. Got booed off stage by a computer. How's that for a confidence boost.
I promise you people! I'm not always like this! I really don't know why I'm being so icky lately. I swear I'll get better. I just... stars I don't know. I'm going to shut-up now and to go to bed. Maybe things'll be better tomorrow. I hope so anyway.
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