There's a dear little plant that grows in our Isle Twas St . Patrick himself, sure, that set it; And the sun of his labour with pleasure did smile, And with dew from his eye often wet it. It grows through the bog, through the brake, through the Mireland, and they call it the dear little shamrock of Ireland.
You say "Wanna go with?" when you mean "Do you want to come with me?"
You know what Kennedy, Dan Ryan, Eisenhower, Edens, and Bishop Ford, have in common and curse one of them daily.
You know what "the Hillside strangler is."
You can name three or four extra taxes nobody else pays.
You know the difference between Richard J Daley and Richard M Daley.
You can use two or three Daleyisms in context.
You can imitate the Mayor's whine.
You say Chicawgo and not Chicaago.
You think going to a Bears game in single digit temperatures with a wind off the lake (and freezing rain) is fun.
Da is a proper definite article.
You expect corruption in local politics.
You go to the Dells in the summer to get away from the other 20 thousand that followed you.
You've been caught speeding in Wisconsin because you had Illinois plates.
You guard your shoveled parking space with an old chair and unusable broom.
You know why they call it "the Windy City."
You know dead people who voted.
You understand the Democratic machine and don't fight against it.
You've never ever considered the idea of hiring non-union laborers.
You've never been to Springfield.
You know a good gyros joint.
You know what Giordanos, Lou Malnati's, and Gino's have in common.
You know when the last time the Cubs won a pennant.
You know exactly how many cars are "legally" allowed to turn left after the light turns red.
You don't know which ethnic "fest" to choose on any given Summer weekend.
Your idea of relaxing and getting away from it all is Ravinia (with 10,000 others who have the same idea).
You can recite many of "The Blues Brothers" lines and know where they filmed certain scenes.
You consider paying someone to watch your car at a sporting event as just another "city tax."
The "Living Room" is called the "front room"
You don't pronounce the "s" at the end of Illinois. You become irate at people who do
You measure distance in minutes (especially "from the city"). And you swear everything is pretty much 15 minutes away
You refer to anything South of I-80 as "Southern Illinois"
You refer to Lake Michigan as "The Lake"
You refer to Chicago as "The City"
"The Super Bowl" refers to one specific game in a series of 35 played in January of 1986
You have two favorite football teams: The Bears, and anyone who beats the Packers!
You buy "The Trib"
You think 35 degrees is great weather to wash your car!
You know what goes on a Chicago Style Hot Dog
You know what Chicago Style Pizza REALLY is
You understand what "lake-effect" means
You know the difference between Amtrak and Metra, and know which station they end up at. You have ridden the "L"
You can distinguish between the following area codes: 847,630,773,708, 312, & 815
You respond to the question "Where are you from" with a side" example:"WEST SIDE", "SOUTH SIDE" or "NORTHSIDE."
You know what the phone number is to Empire Carpet!
You wear gym shoes, not sneakers.
Your favorite melody to hum is "Bang,Bang,Bang-Skeet,Skeet,Skeet!!!!"
You faithfully attended Lil Louis parties at The Bismarck.
You GOT to have spaghetti at your barbecue.
You are STILL a Bulls fan........
You think kicking it outside of White Castles parking lot, (79th and Stony Island) is the "Freak Nik"
You go to Harold`s and order 4 pc wing, mild sauce, salt and pepper.
You have a picture of Harold Washington in your kitchen, living room, family room or basement.
You have ever waited in line at Home of the Hoagy on 111th for 30-45 minutes for a steak samich wit cheese
You have ever been to the Tiki Room lounge in Hyde Park
You have Y made a special trip downtown because you had a craving for Garrett's caramel and cheese popcorn.
What!!! We don`t get a Fifty? Oh yeah....
You drink at bars called "Bud on Tap" or "Milwaukee's Best" -- no names, just beer signs out front.
It's January and you see someone's kitchen chair in the street, and you know that if you're a responsible citizen and bring it back to the sidewalk you will be shot on sight
You live two miles from work and it takes you two hours to drive there
You don't flinch when you pay the fifth toll of your 45-minute car ride on the highway
When you read a big story in the paper about mob ties in the city government, your first reaction is "So, tell me something I don't know."
You know Lincoln Towing is Satan incarnate.
You've paid $105 for towing, $30 for more than one "street cleaning" ticket, $58 for a city vehicle sticker, and $70 for a license plate sticker -- and chalk it all up to "neighborhood taxes."
You pluralize grocery stores and retail chains: "I'm going to Jewels"; "I bought it at Targets"; "I couldn't find parking at Wal-Marts"
You've taken the Red Line past the point where all white people get off and all black people get on -- or vice versa.
You've cursed at a cyclist, pedestrian, or in-line skater on the lakefront path.
You know the significance of State and Madison.
You wonder if the fries will taste the same at Sammy Sosa's Restaurant.
You don't miss Planet Hollywood.
You're not ashamed of wearing a big fur Russian hat, or a headsock with one hole in it, in public from November through March.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Chicago.
May the Irish hills caress you. May her lakes and rivers bless you. May the luck of the Irish enfold you. May the blessings of Saint Patrick behold you.
Competing against Moorhead and Bemidji in sports is scary.
You know exactly where people ar talking about when they say I-Falls or DL.
You could name all the ___ Falls. (International Falls, Little Falls, etc.)
Track season starts with indoor meets and the first three outdoor meets are cancelled because it's just too cold.
All the rest of the schools in the state are cancelled because of the snow or cold, but the buses are still running on time at home.
You know what radio station KB101 is all about and depend on them for weather related announcements.
Most people drive a 4-wheel drive truck.
An ice-scraper is necessary equipment for traveling anywhere September- April.
You've seen -50 temperatures more than once.
You spend your summer building deer stands.
Everyone in your school thinks that deer season should be considered a national holiday.
People sit in deerstands for hours on end in -20 weather just for the thrill of shooting a deer.
You get excited when you hear "Da Tirdy Point Buck" "Second Week of Deer Camp" and "Da Fourdy Pound Croppie" on the radio.
Everybody gets together in the spring and goes mudding.
Your hometown has more gas stations than stores in the mall(if there even is a mall).
A boy wearing tight jeans, cowboy boots, and a cowboy hat can be considered hot.
You have more than one wild-life animal mounted in your home.
Pets are indefinately kept outside.
You hail Perkins as the all-mighty hangout place.
You can walk into Perkins and know every high schooler in there.
The people in the town consider hockey players bigger heros that football players.
Baseball players need a hat and mittens when the season starts.
Going to "The Cities" is a big deal.
Shopping MUST be done out-of-town.
Your house runs on the heat of a wood stove.
You have gotten your tounge stuck on something metal.
You can name half of the "10,000 Lakes".
You depend on Target for your every need.
You feed the wild-life that lives in your yard.
You either have a cabin or stay at someone else's.
You own a snowmobile, 4-wheeler, and a jet-ski to cover all conditions.
The only "gym" there is to work out at is the one at the local high school.
They grow the girls big in your hometown.
Industrial Tech classes have more students than the art and music classes combined.
Your car is always dirty from driving on all the dirt roads.
It takes 2 hours to get to anywhere worth going.
The only thing to do on a Friday or Saturday night is to have a bonfire or rent movies with friends.
You've been out-hunted by a girl hunter.
You don't call a foot of snow falling overnight a state of emergency; you call it Wednesday.
You have combination bait, tackle and gift shops.
You drink beer brewed in Canada.
The majority of the parties you've attended in your life had one corner of the room set aside for people playing euchre.
People walk into banks wearing ski masks, and no one gets excited.
You can tell a person is a 'fudge' regardless of whether they have fudge in their possion.
Sitting for hours on a frozen lake in front of a hole in the ice is an activity you look forward to for months.
On your weekend trips on I-75, both Friday on the way out and Sunday on the way back, you're in the fast moving lane, looking across the median at the bumper-to-bumper crawl.
You're fiercely loyal about your particular make of snowmobile.
Your wife has shot a buck.
You regularly drive on roads that have never been paved, and probably never will be.
You know every person you graduated from high school with.
You go to restaurants named after the person who is actually cooking the food.
You've helped push the vehicle of someone you've never met before out of a snowbank.
Your town has a curfew whistle.
When you think of a 'pasty,' you think of something to eat, not something a stripper would wear.
You have seven right-handed gloves
You tap-tap your feet to knock of the snow before you get into your car
You're from the U.P.
You see the annual snowbird migration to the south
You put cherries in everything you eat
You wear four different-size jeans throughout the year
You can get to another town through the woods
You put plastic on your windows
You have a DUI or two
Anyone from below M-72 is from "the south"
You take your hooded parka everywhere - just in case
You have long underwear in three or more colors
You work your own hours, eat venison and fish regularly
You drive to Grand Rapids to catch a plane because it's half the price
Tourists make you late all summer but snow doesn't slow you down at all
I think our state emblem is an orange diamond emblazoned with the motto "Road Counstruction Ahead".
A couple of summers ago, I found a T-shirt in Michigan that had an array of pictures like that. The State Tree was the orange construction barrel. The State Animal was a construction worker. The State Rock was concrete. And so on.
You Know You're From Atlanta and/or Georgia When...
You give directions starting with, "Go down Peachtree" and include the phrase, "When you see the Waffle House."
You know the difference between a hillbilly, a redneck, and a Southerner.
You only drink Coke or Diet Coke - drinking Pepsi is blasphemy.
You know to wear sneakers to the airport.
The 8:00 AM rush hour is from 6:30 to 10:30 AM. The 5:00 PM rush hour is from 3:00 to 7:30 PM. Friday's rush hour starts Thursday afternoon, and lasts through 2:00 AM Saturday.
You use "Sir" and "Ma'am" if there's a remote possibility that person you're talking to is least 30 minutes older than you are.
The falling of one rain drop causes all drivers to immediately forget all traffic rules.
If a single snowflake falls, the city is paralyzed for three days, and it's on all the channels as a news flash every 15 minutes for a month. All the grocery stores will be sold out of milk, bread, bottled water, toilet paper, and beer.
People actually grow, eat, and like okra - boiled or fried.
Construction crews are not doing their jobs properly unless they close down all major streets during rush hour.
You never go less than 70 mph on "The Watermelon 500" (I-285).
Sweet tea is THE drink. No questions.
When a waitress asks what you want to drink and you say Coke, she asks "What kind?"
"Ya'll" is a word.
You know you're not allergic to pollen, because if you were - you'd be dead already.
You know people who consider a six pack and a bug zapper quality entertainment.
The directions to your house include "turn off the paved road."
You know at least five different ways to get to work, none of them any good.
You greet people with"Howdy, Whachu doin?"
You know what a 'dawg' is.
You've been in traffic on I-85, I-75, I-20 or GA 400 (choose one) - wondering if your fuel, your cell-phone battery, and your bladder will make it to the next exit, just 1/2 mile (or one hour) ahead.
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Clan Mac Cullaich: - Brewed in Scotland - Bottled in Ulster - Uncorked in America
If you want to be a snob about your grocery shopping, you can go to a Randall's Flagship, a Kroger Signature, a Rice Epicurean, or soon, an HEB Central Market to buy bread and milk (but you have to dress up!)
You have a Roach Story: You opened your flatware drawer to find a roach the size of the Taco Bell chihuahua. He stood up and looked you in the eye. You closed the drawer, bought new flatware -- and stored it in the oven.
"Bum Phillips" doesn't mean a bad screwdriver.
You know that the Astrodome will always be the Eighth Wonder of the World.
Your neighbor's Christmas yard decorations look like a re-creation of the gunfight at the OK Corral, complete with a ten-foot tree decorated with boots and cowboy hats, and a Santa Claus who looks a lot like Wyatt Earp.
You know that "Dad gummit" has nothing to do with your father's failure to practice good dental hygiene.
A 747 with the Space Shuttle riding piggyback has actually flown low, right overhead, and nobody paid any attention to it.
You know that while saving you money, "Mattress Mac" has amassed more than the U.S. Treasury has.
"Luv Ya Blue" still makes you smile, even if you did run the Oilers out of town.
You think y'all is a perfectly good word when you're referring to more than one person.
You see nothing unusual about an eighty-something former sheriff's deputy who wears a white pompadour toupee and blue sun-glasses, mispronounces names, allows televising of his frequent plastic surgeries, seems unnaturally obsessed with slime in the ice machine, and screams "MAR-VIN ZIND-ler, iiiiiiii-witness news" into a television.
You see your neighbor dancing around the front yard, and you don't think he's won the Publisher's Clearing House Sweepstakes; you know that he just stepped in a fire ant bed.
You're on your way to work one FEBRUARY morning and suddenly you're trapped in a traffic jam caused by a chuck wagon and fifty horses with riders and you look around to see that everybody in the cars around you is wearing a cowboy hat.
You have to turn on the air conditioning in January, two days after a low of 29 degrees.
You come to work in short sleeves and walk out at noon to find that a "blue-tailed norther" has blown through and the temperature has dropped 40 degrees in a matter of minutes.
You go to an art festival on Westheimer and you're almost run down by two hand- holding cross dressers on roller blades.
For a Chili Cookoff, you'll use anything from armadillo to frog's legs, but you know that the only GOOD chili is made with chopped (not ground)- beef, and it has NO beans and NO tomatoes. You know that Society matrons of "a certain age" still sport big hair and faces that have gone east, west, and north rather than south.
You can leave your house, head out of town, and an hour later you still haven't left the city limits (during rush hour, you haven't left your NEIGHBORHOOD).
You've never seen I-45 in any condition other than under construction, and you've lived here for 20-30 years.
You think that the humidity being below 90 percent makes it a GOOD hair day.
The only REAL Mexican food is Tex-Mex.
You've seen a 747 with a Space Shuttle riding piggyback flying low right overhead, and nobody paid any attention to it.
You know that while saving you money, "Mattress Mac" has amassed more than the U.S. treasury.
You're happy to have beaten Los Angeles out of a football team, but you'd rather they keep the title of "Smog Capital."
You know that the Astrodome will always be the 8th wonder of the world.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Houston.
You Know You're From Texas When...
You see more Texan flags than American flags.
You know someone who ate the 72 oz steak and got it for free.
You can write a check at Dairy Queen for 2 Hungr-Busters and fries.
You prefer Whataburger to McDonalds.
You dress up to go shopping at the mall.
You're disappointed when a food doesn't come in spicy flavor.
You know from experience that rattlesnake meat tastes like chicken.
You can tell a rock from an armadillo at 300 yards.
You have both a dog and a brother-in-law named Bud
Your local grocery store sells cactus in the Fresh Produce department
You watch the movie Urban Cowboy and laugh at the phony Texan accents
You choose a brand of Mexican salsa with the same care that another might use to select a bottle of fine wine
You think that the 4 basic food groups are nachos, bar-b-que, fajitas, and Copenhagen.
You refer to the Dallas Cowboys as "God's favorite football team"
You know whether another Texan is from South, West, East, North, or Central Texas as soon as they open their mouth.
You don't consider people from Austin to be real Texans.
There is no such thing as a "secret" sin.
The Blue Book value on your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas it has in it.
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Texas.
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"when a person is prepared to die for a cause, and indeed to glory in such a death, it impossible to supress him or the cause it represents." Jawaharlal Nehru
"Only the suppressed word is dangerous." Ludwig Borne
"All of our freedoms are a single bundle, all must be secure if any is to be preserved." Dwight David Eisenhower
"All men's souls are immortal, but the souls of the righteous are both immortal and divine." Socrates
yes yes i know it says that im from southern MS, but my family is from alabama. and what part of alabama you might ask, none other than Talladega county. And i was suprised at how many of these that i could relate to.
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ERIN GO BRAGH
Beware theCelticStorm
Big Jim Hainey
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