Mother Taught Me, Definitions

MOTHER TAUGHT ME!!

1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE.
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished
cleaning in here."

2. My mother taught me RELIGION
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL.
"If you don't straighten up, I' m going to knock you into
the middle of next week!"

4. My mother taught me LOGIC
" Because I said so, that's why."

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck,
you're not going to the store with me." (oh, darn.)

6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT
"Make sure you wear clean underwear,
in case you're in an accident."

7. My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."

8. My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS.
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper."

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM
"Would you just look at that dirt on the back of your neck!"

10. My mother taught me about STAMINA
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."

11. My mother taught me about WEATHER
"This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."

12. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY
"If I told you once, I've told you a million times.
Don't exaggerate!"

13. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE.
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

14. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION.
"Stop acting like your father!"

15 My mother taught me about ENVY
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this
world who don't have wonderful parents like you do."

16. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION .
Just wait until we get home!"

17. My mother taught me about RECEIVING.
"You are going to get it when you get home!"

18. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going
to freeze that way."


19. My mother taught me ESP
" Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when
you are cold?"

20. My mother taught me HUMOR
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't
come running to me."

21. My mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT.
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

22. My mother taught me GENETICS
"You're just like your father."

23. My mother taught me about my ROOTS.
"Shut that door behind you. Do you think you were
born in a barn?"

24. My mother taught me WISDOM
"When you get to be my age, you'll understand."

And my favorite:

25. My mother taught me about JUSTICE.
"One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out
just like you!"

AIN'T IT THE TRUTH

Today's Helpful Hint

A little lemon and seltzer will
remove those pesky ink stains
after you've been fingerprinted.
- Martha Stewart

WOW!!! The author of this captured our mom to a tee!!! Amazing!!

I never new that Moms could teach so much....so there are hidden meanings behind everything my mom has been telling me! This fits it to a Tee! You have brought the truth to me! Thanks maisky....now to get more "teaching" from my mother...

OH MY! MAISKY! We must be brothers cause your mom sounds EXACTLY like mine!

Maisky, that is just the way moms are isn't it? I guess all moms are a like in so many ways. I enjoyed it thank you for sharing.

Rindy

There must be some secret book of mommyisms that women are given when they give birth... these words of wisdom from moms are universal LOL!

I heard them all mt life from my mother and my grandmother, now I tell my kids the same things, lol.......


Lil

Our mums also taught us to always wear clean underwear, in case we get in an accident and then the EMT folks won't have bad things to say about them!

(my mother actually told me this and meant every word!)

You know, I think they are actually born just knowing.......*shivers*.......scary.

~Iago

That is so funny jpmoore, my mum too! I don't think I ever told my Sons. hum may be I should ask them....

OH MY!! my mom used to say wee bits of those teachings, but not anymore!! i guess shes tired from repeating it on my little sister now!!

is it considered to be among the sacred textbooks? i think it has to be , real helpful for future mothers

Someone's been stalking me, cause that's my mother!
My favourite has got to be Osmosis, really funny stuff!