Ask The Peckery

Dear Peckery,
I am MM lover's alter ego and I have a question too? How come she won't give me peanuts with my MM? or a little chips and dip would be nice? What's her problem?


Thank you,

Needin A snack

Dear Snackasaur

She may have two personalities but that does not mean she wants two chins. She is not a Chinese phone book.

Dear Dr. Peckery,

I have a social problem of stiring my drink ( MM & coke sometimes) with my finger and then sucking my finger clean. I've been told that it not socially correct, but it taste so good....what should I do?

I've been to a rehabilitation center for sucker's but I can't break the habit. What should I do now?

superfinger

Dear Superfinger,

What did you do for a living again? (Don't wanna get kicked off so we will leave it at that )

Remember, suck, don't lick.

I'm so glad we can discuss our problems and keep our identities hidden!
Whew!

Dear Dr. Peckery,

I have a friend (yea that's what they all say) that she is always putting in her 2 cents into every conversation and she listen's in on my conversation's when she's not included in that conversation...how do I tell her to stop being so nosey?

Signed
wanttoputupawall

Well when I was 10 I would tell them this is an A B conversation you need to C your way out oh wait, sorry.

Dear Wally

I think you will have to kill her. It's the only way.

Peckery

dear peckery,
my desk mate at work is driving me crazy!!! before the library opens, she chomps away on her breakfast/lunch with her mouth open and lips smacking. she constantly talks to herself, and does not make sense when she does....she is very nosy, and if you tell her anything, the whole world knows about it about four hours later......
other than killing her, and taking tranquilizers, what can I do ???
Kassia

Dear Kassia

First of all, I would only talk to her when necessary. She has already proven herself as one you can not tell something in confidence to. Tell her or have someone else higher up the food chain that she has to eat in the lunch room, that is what it is for. As far as her talking to herself, when she does it say "What?" Do this every time she talks to herself around you. If she has to stop every time and explain herself, she might stop doing it. If these things fail, drug her then kill her.

OOPs! Peckery is giving good advise again! Personnaly, I would, knowing her habit of gossip, invent some REALLY juicy things about her bosses to tell her. If anybody asks, deny everything.

You could put LSD in her coffee. The kids would love that

Where you a pecker before you became the peckery?

I was a Little Pecker

Do you even know what a pecker, in my language, is?
A marching band drummer.