Seniors, Old Farts And Just Growing Old!, Attaining "Senior" status

When I was younger, I looked forward to getting up early in the morning to exercise. Now, getting out of bed in the morning is my exercise.

Slàinte,    

Patch    

Patch;

I agree but with the addition of shuffling to the washroom, brushing my teeth, combing my hair, and to finish off this strenuous routine "A Good Whizzzzz"




Camac

This is an interesting video on age! We can only hope we do so well! Hope the link works.

http://growingbolder.com:80/media/technolo...oad-259598.html

Slàinte,    

Patch    

Hey Guys;

I just recieved the greatest news an Old Fart can get. My oldest Daughter Paula and her Husband Graham are going to be parents in October. That makes me a GRANDPA. There is also the possibilty that it will be twins which will be confirmed in another week or two. I personally hope it a girl or girls but I'll take whatever the Fates decide. I'm walking on air I'm so happy.



Camac

CONGRATULATIONS!!!



You realize of course that it is your solemn responsibility to spoil the child totally rotten!! It is a rough job but you must do it! (They will love you for it and remember you forever!!!!)

You should make this it's own topic!

Slàinte,    

Patch    

Patch;

I believe Article 2 of the Official Royal Handbook for GrandFathers states: " It is the solemn and sworn duty of all GrandFathers that as the opportunity arises He will make every and all efforts to spoil his Grandchildren. Failure to do so will result in being stripped of the Title GrandFather and banished from the Realm.

Article 1 states : It is the solemn and sworn duty of every GrandFather to protect and watch over his Grandchildren even at the risk or sacrifice of his life and limb.


It has not quite sunk in fully that I'm going to be a GrandPa.


Camac

Congratulations Camac and welcome to the club. Awesome feeling isn't it. Hope yours will be close enough for you to visit often.

CarolinaScotsman;

They will be close. Just 10 minutes away. I am still floating around on cloud nine. I have wanted to be a Grandad for years and now it is finally happening.It can only get better from here on.

I started making a list of things to get :Hockey Skates, Stick and pads, electric train, Lego, and here's the kicker BOOKS lots and lots of BOOKS. Oh yeah almost forgot Fishing tackle. All the above is for my Grandaughter I'll worry about a Grandson later. I told Paula that if it's a girl she is mine and to tell her Mother to keep hands off. Yeah like that will happen. I feel like a kid on Xmas morning. I know it is no big deal being a grandparent but I hope this feeling never ends.


Camac.

Congratulations! I've been a Grampa now for over three years, and is LOTS of fun.
Took the kids out for pizza the other night, and Hailey and I played ALL the games they had there. But SHE had to put the quarters in them.

Feeling Old?

$5.37. That's what the kid behind the counter at Taco Bell said to me.

I dug into my pocket and pulled out some lint and two dimes and something that used to be a Jolly Rancher. Having already handed the kid a five-spot, I started to head back out to the truck to grab some change when the kid with the Emo hairdo said the harshest thing anyone has ever said to me.

He said, "It's OK. I'll just give you the senior citizen discount."

I turned to see who he was talking to and then heard the sound of change hitting the counter in front of me. "Only $4.68" he said cheerfully.

I stood there stupefied. I am 48, not even 50 yet? A mere child! Senior citizen?

I took my burrito and walked out to the truck wondering what was wrong with Emo. Was he blind?

As I sat in the truck, my blood began to boil. Old? Me?

I'll show him, I thought. I opened the door and headed back inside. I strode to the counter, and there he was waiting with a smile.

Before I could say a word, he held up something and jingled it in front of me, like I could be that easily distracted! What am I now? A toddler?

"Dude! Can't get too far without your car keys, eh?"

I stared with utter disdain at the keys. I began to rationalize in my mind.

"Leaving keys behind hardly makes a man elderly! It could happen to anyone!"

I turned and headed back to the truck. I slipped the key into the ignition, but it wouldn't turn. What now? I checked my keys and tried another.

Still nothing.

That's when I noticed the purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror.

I had no purple beads hanging from my rearview mirror.

Then, a few other objects came into focus. The car seat in the back seat. Happy Meal toys spread all over the floorboard. A partially eaten doughnut on the dashboard.

Faster than you can say ginkgo biloba, I flew out of the alien vehicle.

Moments later I was speeding out of the parking lot, relieved to finally be leaving this nightmarish stop in my life. That is when I felt it, deep in the bowels of my stomach: hunger! My stomach growled and churned, and I reached to grab my burrito, only it was nowhere to be found.

I swung the truck around, gathered my courage, and strode back into the restaurant one final time..

There Emo stood, draped in youth and black nail polish. All I could think was, "What is the world coming to?" All I could say was, "Did I leave my food and drink in here?" At this point I was ready to ask a Boy Scout to help me back to my vehicle, and then go straight home and apply for Social Security benefits.

Emo had no clue. I walked back out to the truck, and suddenly a young lad came up and tugged on my jeans to get my attention. He was holding up a drink and a bag. His mother explained, "I think you left this in my truck by mistake."

I took the food and drink from the little boy and sheepishly apologized.

She offered these kind words: "It's OK. My grandfather does stuff like this all the time."

All of this is to explain how I got a ticket doing 85 in a 40. Yes, I was racing some punk kid in a Toyota Prius.. And no, I told the officer, I'm not too old to be driving this fast.

As I walked in the front door, my wife met me halfway down the hall. I handed her a bag of cold food and a $300 speeding ticket. I promptly sat in my rocking chair and covered up my legs with a blanky..

The good news was I had successfully found my way home.

-*-*-*- READ BELOW ! -*-*-*-

Just in case you weren't feeling too old today...

The people who are starting college this fall were born in 1991.

They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.

Their lifetime has always included AIDS.

The CD was introduced 7 years before they were born.

They have always had an answering machine.

They have always had cable..

Popcorn has always been microwaved.

They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.

They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.

They never heard: 'Where's the Beef?', 'I'd walk a mile for a Camel ', or 'de plane Boss, de plane'.

McDonald's never came in Styrofoam containers.

They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter


A Prayer for we old people:
Psalm 71:18 (King James Version)

Now also when I am old and greyheaded, O God, forsake me not; until I have shewed thy strength unto this generation, and thy power to every one that is to come.

Mace;

I went to the Chiropractor last week and as he was away was seen by his standin.
Very nice young woman ( that is ti a point) . Asked if I had grown up in Oakville to which I replied no I had grown up around Toronto back in the 40's and 50's. to which she replied " that's fantastic, I just love listening to older people talk about the olden days. I answered a bit tartly Thanks but I'm still alive so I'm not quite part of History yet.

Oh, hell . . .
This past week I tore a shoulder ligament stepping off a curb while holding one friend's hand and smooching another friend's cheek on the other side, after an open-mike poetry reading in which I read some of my stuff, and a few beers was in me too, as well as a lot of very good guacamole and fine blue taco chips, and the band after the reading was excellent and so was the dancing and so was the big looks on my students' faces, and I keep retearing the shoulder putting on the bra, and you say "See! That's old for you" but hell I needed a bra by the time I was 16 so that don't prove nothing, and --
Would you repeat the question please?

Congratulations Camac on becoming a Grandpa. So is she having twins? Sorry if I missed the answer to this in another place.

Val

Valapal;

Thanks for the congrats but they are not necessary as my Daughter lost the baby 3 weeks ago. Thanks any way. She and her Husband will try again. In fact they just left this morning for a weeks vacation in Jamaice to elax and have some fun.



Camac

Hey Guys;

As you might recall I said that I didn't own a car and that It was difficult to get out and about. Well that will soon change for this Old Fart. I am awaiting the delivery of my new mode of transportation. It is a Daymak Austin Ebike. It is an electric bicycle but it looks more like a Honda, or Vespa Scooter. It can be pedal in an emergency (like dead battery)or you can toodle along at 32kmh (20mph) for a maximum range of 50km (31miles). It is red and white (Canadas colours) and under our provincial law you do not need a drivers license (I have one) nor insurance but you must wear a helmet. Once it gets here I will no longer have to rely on others for getting around town. Ah the Freedom.


Camac