No, this is not a role-playing game; no, this is not a money-making ploy; and finally, no, this is not a joke!
I am here as you are here you are me and we are all together...
And in the absence of this evening's speaker, I will take over the grandstand as master of ceremonies...ladies and gents, I present to you...all the way from Gridlock County, Texas...Bert the Best Beaming Bungalow Boy!
I'm sorry folks, Bert the Best Beaming Bungalow Boy has passed out. Apparently, he's sniffed a bit too many of Gary the Gargantuan Gaelic Guffawing Guest's flatulence.
Stop the flatulence, Gary! Stop it now, I say!