Girls Room Only-where Did It Go?, No Boys Allowed

[valpal59]

Rindy---I can't help you on the Spot Bot. I don't even know of anyone who has one.

I received this in an email this morning.

This is an actual letter sent to Proctor and Gamble from Wendi Aarons, Austin, TX , regarding their feminine products. She really gets rolling after the first paragraph.

Dear Mr. Thatcher, I have been a loyal user of your Always Maxi Pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuardCore™ or Dri-Weave™ absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants. Have you ever had a period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"?

I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hill billy with knife skills". Isn't the human body amazing?

As Brand Manager in the Feminine-hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers'
monthly visits from "Aunt Flo". Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... which brings me to the reason for my letter. Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period."

Are you @#$&*%@ kidding me? Does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local K-mart armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, pull your head out, man!&nb sp; If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong", or are you just picking on us? Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull s***. And that 's a promise I will keep. Always.Best,
Wendi Aarons Austin, TX

[pretentiouswombat]

That has to be the funniest thing I have read in ages!!!! I absolutely hate those stupid wings on pads. I mean, they stick to everything - they are worse than Saran Wrap when it comes to adhering to itself or anything it gets close to. I can't even imagine having a message on pads. Somebody in some advertising agency (or in-house marketing) is making big bucks to come up with that tripe. Since I work at an ad agency (and our office is 100 percent women) I am definitely going to share this.

Thanks for making my day!!!

[maggiemahone1]

valpal, that was so funny my sentiments exactly...Have a Happy .!

maggiemahone1

[pretentiouswombat]

You know, I shared that with the ladies in my office (that would be, let's see, 7 other people) and I didn't hear one single comment back from anybody. I can't believe it. I thought it was a riot and I held back from bursting out loud with laughter. Makes me wonder if I'm working with a bunch of deadbeats. Sheesh.

One of my daughters is getting over a bladder infection and had to go to the emergency room on Sunday morning due to the pain. She is working at a new job and has no insurance so I don't know what this is going to set her back. I certainly did knock on wood since I haven't had any "female" problems in ages but it makes me so aware that I am going to have to go hunting for insurance for myself soon. I'm still being carried on my "ex's" insurance but that's only because we haven't finalized our divorce. And isn't it just a bummer that the only reason we haven't done that is because I can't get insurance at work since I'm just part-time? So, I really have to look for a policy on me that I can afford. That should be fun - yeah, if you're into that whole sado-masochistic thing. If anybody has any suggestions on where to look for decent coverage for an individual, please let me know.

Y'all stay warm.

[valpal59]

I just recently got health insurance because hubby was having a cow that I didn't have any. His words after I was sick last month with a bad chest cold that came close to tuning into pneumonia, "Honey, you are getting older and you very seldom get sick and you will be one of those people that something bad will happen (snaps fingers) just like that." That made me feel so good. NOT It was too expensive to add me to his policy at work. I work for an insurance agency and my boss does not carry insurance for his employees. Imagine that!!!! He sells health insurance thru several different companies so he quoted me thru them and I picked the one I could afford. I went with Blue Cross w/ 2500.00 deduct. in network 5000.00 out of network and a prescription card w/ 10.00 for generic and 40.00 for name brand. The plan is PPO Select Saver Plan and it costs 178.00 a month for me. Haven't used it yet, so I don't know how good it will be.

[pretentiouswombat]

Gasp! $178/month? That's what I was afraid of. And, of course, working 25 hours a week is going to make it nearly impossible to afford that. If they would let me work just a couple of extra hours a week...well, we shall see.

I just called my OB/GYN's office to see which plans they take. I've been with them forever and don't plan on changing docs at this point. So I need to stick with BCBS, Cigna, Aetna, or United. I guess I'll start hunting.

[maggiemahone1]

has there been any guy lurkers in here? Inquiring minds want to know!!!

maggiemahone1

[marti64]

Hello everyone!!!!!!!! I see that there are a few others going through menopause...I have started early by most standards...43, thanks to the females before me.......my Finnish Grandma, and my Mom.....Oh well!
As for Health Insurance, all in Massachusetts need to have it now...glad I do, after being without it for a year.....we are supposed to get a rebate, but I think all of my rebate is going to go to pay my late husband's taxes!!!
I hope everyone is well, and I will try to check in soon!!!
Marti

[pretentiouswombat]

The other day I checked on rates for insurance and they ranged from the upper $170's or so up to well over $600 a month! I guess I'm going to have to go with the least expensive monthly and just grin and bear it. sigh. I'm not quite sure how I'll be paying for it but it's rather like death and taxes nowadays. Inevitable.

[Nara]

hello everyone. I'm Nara, new to CR, thought girls-only chat would be a good place to start. I loved the maxi-pad story! and though i'm probably some time away from menopause (31 years old today, happy birthday to me), i'm longing for the time when i don't have to worry about aunt flo. the hubs and i are trying for one more baby, and it's bizarre to admit that i look forward to pregnancy as a break from having a monthly.

[pretentiouswombat]

I have to go for a mammogram tomorrow. aarrgghh. This will be the first time for me. I put it off for many years due to either being pregnant or nursing but my eldest daughter made me promise to go so...here I go. I am soo looking forward to this (detect undertones of heavy sarcasm).

Waiting for our paychecks to arrive from the JAX office. You know, they could spring for Priority Overnight twice a month to get them to us at a decent hour instead of having us hang around for who knows how long because they sent the darned things Standard Overnight.

Just got a stupid papercut while filing and answering the phone. I guess I can't do two things at once today. Now I'm bleeding all over the keyboard.

FED EX MAN ARRIVED! Paychecks are here! Yeehaw!

[Rindy]

If it will make you feel any better about the entire test..I had it expected the worst and it was a piece of cake. It' been awhile may be the machines are different. Let us know how things go and I will pray your negative.

Hot flashes ran in my family too...oh boy..I am looking forward to this..at least now when the time comes I have some one to talk to about it. "All of you!"

Oh, I was going to say the cost of health care insurance is just out of control, but a person needs it.
The doctor and hospital bills are worse if you should become ill.
I was thankful to have it with the two surgeries I had done this summer.

Ya, know just going to a dentist is a fortune. The cost of the crown I just had put on should be for the head...gee.. then the insurance always says well it's over cost...blah blah. Makes ya wonder if it isn't a huge scam for the doctors and the drug industries..

I just get so frustrated...then there are the people that say "I am not going to get sick" doing all the right things for your body. Death comes to us all..

Ok, I am done now sorry to have rambled on...

Slainte

[pretentiouswombat]

Rindy - I hear you about the cost of crowns. I'm going to be paying for the one I had a year ago for .... let's see ... the next couple of years. And I had insurance - that's just for the part it didn't cover.

At least I'm doing well as far as the whole hot flashes or other symptoms goes. If I could get rid of the constant backache that I have, I'd feel ten years younger. I just hate waking up all aches and pains-like.

I seem to be staving off the nasty cold that's running through my house and work. Good old mega doses of Vitamin C seem to be working so far.

I'll check in later to let y'all know how today went.

[pflanary]

Hi ladies,

The best thing I ever did was to get a complete hysterectomy. Not just because I was bleeding to death. I was so anemic that I had to take strong drugs to stop all flow for several months before I could have surgery.

I LOVE not having periods and the hot flashes and cramps that accompanied them. No more ovulation pain either.

I am on HRT because. if I'm not, I hot flash so badly at night that I get no sleep. Tried doing soy, etc but it is just not enough. I'm only on esterogen so the risk of heart attack is minimal.

Every time I see an ad for "feminine hygene" products I rejoice at not having to mess with that stuff any more!!

Catch ya'll later.

[pretentiouswombat]

Well, the mammogram was a piece of cake. No aches, pains, discomfort and it wasn't even as cold as I was told it would be. So I'm just waiting to see what the results are from that and then the Pap that I had done afterwards. Killed two birds in one day now that the mammograms are on one floor and the doctor is right downstairs. The only thing I wish someone had told me about was that you have to use one of those sterile wipe alcohol-type things to remove your deodorant for the test. Okay, that was friggin' cold! And, I would have brought deodorant with me if I had known so I could put more on afterwards. I'm glad I went home from there and not back to work. I would have had to go to the drugstore for some, otherwise.

My doc asked if I was having any menopausal issues and I said that really the only thing was the insomnia occasionally. He said that often it was not a case of being unable to go to sleep but more like waking up in the wee hours and not being able to get back to sleep. At which point I wanted to ask him if he had a hidden camera in my bedroom! Yeah, duh! I've had nights when my sweetie would get up to go to the bathroom (damn men with tiny bladders) and it would wake me up just enough that I would toss and turn for hours, grumbling and wanting to take it out on him. Now I take a tylenol PM and that's enough to get me back to sleep for the next couple of hours before I have to get up for work. If I didn't take those, I'd end up getting something like 2-3 hours sleep before work some nights. Fortunately, it doesn't happen often and I'm going to start keeping a chart of when this happens to see if it's cyclical.

Anyone else with sleep issues? Does this sound familiar?

Oh, yeah - last night I saw an ad from Always and I just about attacked the tv when I saw the tagline at the end - Have a Happy Period. Someone needs to just slap them.