Music is holy, art is sacred, and creativity is power
Everyday is EARTH DAY to a farmer
"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much." Oscar Wilde
Some men are drawn to oceans, they cannot breathe unless the air is scented with a salty mist. Others are drawn to land that is flat, and the air is sullen and is leaden as August. My people were drawn to mountains- Earl Hamner Jr.
A forty year old woman was at home jumping on her bed and squealing with delight. Her husband watches her for a while and then asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you anyway?"
The woman joyously continues to bounce on the bed and says "I don't care. I just came from having a mammogram and the doctor says I have the breasts of an 18 year old."
The husband said, "What did he say about your 40 year old ass?"
"Your name never came up," she answered...
The most wasted day of all is one in which we have not laughed.
Father O'Malley was telling his congregation that anything they could think of, old or new was covered in the Bible. After the service, he was approached by Mrs. Flaherty who said, "Father, I don't believe the Bible mentions PMS." Father O'Malley replied that he was sure it must be covered in there someplace, and he would look for it. The following week after the service, he called Mrs. Flaherty aside and showed her a passage which read: "And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem!!!!!"
Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.
I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers.
A visitor from The Netherlands was chatting with his American friend and was jokingly explaining about the red, white and blue in the Netherlands flag. "Our flag symbolizes our taxes," he said. "We get red when we talk about them, white when we get our tax bill, and blue after we pay them." "That's the same with us," the American said, "only we see stars, too."
~And my personal favorite~
If you jog in a jogging suit, lounge in lounging pajamas, and smoke in a smoking jacket, WHY would anyone want to wear a windbreaker??
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