Paddy was trapped in a bog and seemed a goner when Big Mick O'Reilly wandered by. "Help!" Paddy shouted, "Oi'm sinkin'!" "Don't worry," assured Mick. "Next to the Strong Muldoon, Oi'm the strongest man in Erin, and Oi'll pull ye right out o' there." Mick leaned out and grabbed Paddy's hand and pulled and pulled to no avail. After two more unsuccessful attempts, Mick said to Paddy, "Shure, an' Oi can't do it. The Strong Muldoon could do it alone, mebbe, but Oi'll have to get some help." As Mick was leaving, Paddy called, "Mick! Mick! D'ye think it will help if Oi pull me feet out of the stirrups?"
That is really the only thing I can contribute. My jokes are awful.
You're right. That was bad.
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Mike F.
May the Irish hills caress you. May her lakes and rivers bless you. May the luck of the Irish enfold you. May the blessings of Saint Patrick behold you.
"They That Wait Upon The LORD, Shall Renew Their Strength, They Shall Mount Up With Wings As Eagels, They Shall Run, And Not Be Werry; They Shall Walk, And Not Faint." ISAIAH 40:31
A duck walks into a pub, waddles up to the bar, and says to the bartender, "Do you have any grapes?" The bartender says: "No, we don't have any grapes-this is a pub!" The duck waddles back across the bar, hops off, then walks out the door.
The next day the duck enters the pub again and does the same thing! The bartender tells the duck again: "We don't have any grapes, we don't sell any grapes, this is a pub, so go and do not come back again!
The next day the duck walks into the same pub, waddles up to the bar and asks the bartender again: "Do you have any grapes?" The bartender gets steamed and tells the duck: "Look I am sick and tired of you coming in here every day for three days asking me if I have any grapes. If you come back here tommorrow, I am going to get nails and a hammer, and nail your webbed feet to the bar!" The duck waddles down from the bar and walks out the door.
The next day the duck goes into the same pub, waddles up to the bar, and says to the bartender: "Do you have any nails?" The shocked and angry bartender says: "No, I don't." Then the duck says: "Got any grapes?"
Music is holy, art is sacred, and creativity is power
Everyday is EARTH DAY to a farmer
"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much." Oscar Wilde
Some men are drawn to oceans, they cannot breathe unless the air is scented with a salty mist. Others are drawn to land that is flat, and the air is sullen and is leaden as August. My people were drawn to mountains- Earl Hamner Jr.
A panda walks into a restaurant ,sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich,pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda starts to leave, the manager shouts "Hey! where are you going? You shot my waiter and you haven't paid for your sandwich !" The panda yells back "Hey,I'm a panda ! Look it up!" The manager opens up his dictionary and sees the following definition for panda "A tree dwelling marsupial of Asian origin, characterised by distinct black and white colouring. Eats shoots and leaves.
That's ok TracyLynn. I'd rather be here also. Much to heavy over in the other place. Right now we all need a good laugh. I can't think of any jokes though.
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