Lovely and perfect. (And true.)
| Printable Version of Topic
Click here to view this topic in its original format |
| Celtic Radio Community > Poems > Short Works |
| Posted by: Eventide 07-Oct-2005, 11:35 AM |
| A small Haiku I wrote so many years ago, her name was Burma she was my mother's: Kittens ******************* as kittens will do it follows: not at my side, but in the flowers ******************* |
| Posted by: stoirmeil 11-Oct-2005, 10:07 AM |
| Lovely and perfect. (And true.) |
| Posted by: Eventide 11-Oct-2005, 12:30 PM |
thank you  |
| Posted by: Aaediwen 11-Oct-2005, 04:09 PM |
| Very Nice. I'll pin this thread for you to post more of your work in |
| Posted by: Eventide 11-Oct-2005, 09:53 PM |
| How nice and unexpected! Thank-you. I usually write to free my mind (if that is possible). Might as well break this thread in now and to honor such an welcome gift... Here's one of my favourites... "Love's Horizon" Hello again, sweet love of mine, I know you think highly of me, as the sky. The west wind, blessed Zephyr, obeyed your call and blew me across the wispy firmament back into the firm embrace of your sleek arms. In your tears I see that you missed me and within I see that which I missed most: the twinkling of beloved stars on a glassy sea as my lips linger along a familiar coast. Clouds of doubt had swirled about my thoughts of you, yet now your southern valley is a summer stream, dry, virgin to all but the love of me. My passion would pour down, my dear, but you have cut your hair, that tropical canopy, hewn down that lovely land of life and steam. I have long wished to bathe in those vapors and roam where our past stood like Mayan monuments. How I thirst for the lost trickles of those moments! Forgive me, I have been foolish, with eyes overcast. I now see that your soul followed me east; the same sun that drank your sultry desire licked your locks to a golden savannah. My mane will be that of a veldt lion who hunts dreams as fleeting and frail as gazelles. This lion shall serve that which matters most; the whims of his pride. Lover, teacher, you have put me through a test. My reply? "True love is that which never left." |
| Posted by: WizardofOwls 11-Oct-2005, 09:56 PM |
| Beautiful! Thank you so much for sharing this with us! You have talent, my dear! |
| Posted by: Eventide 12-Oct-2005, 05:24 PM |
| I don't know about that but I put my heart into it...thank you |
| Posted by: Aaediwen 12-Oct-2005, 05:33 PM |
| Sir Alderman speaks the truth, M'lady I prefer the feel of kittins, for soem reason. Perhaps the more direct imagry. You say you write from the heart. It is through the heart and through the soul which the truest talent flows Keep it comming! |
| Posted by: Eventide 12-Oct-2005, 05:55 PM |
| There's this one from my journal. I named it the Way of Goodbye-- it is very personal to me...I've had to say this more often than I'd like to. It's about the invevitability of it from my perspective and my gradual acceptance. As friends and neighbours we influence each other on a fundamental scale in our daily lives and when that unfortunate moment arrives-- my experience is that some of the positive energy/connection gets lost and fades. When this happens often enough, there is a part of me that becomes disaffected and disjointed from my immediate surroundings. And so....this is: The Way of Goodbye tired of the way the sun breaks when it shatters through the blinds the dust of passing chapters lingering inside a sudden loss of levity a certain lack of grace these moments and their memories forget how things have changed and I still will cry adrift within this song but it's different now not exactly broken, not entirely wrong simply winding down waiting for the fade letting go of having to be something someone else has made and weariness seems to bring a sort of peace like warmth to hold the weeping as they lay aside their dreams and though this day is long it will not escape the night for this is the way of the world this is the way of goodbye |
| Posted by: Rindy 12-Oct-2005, 06:23 PM |
| Very nice work Eventide wow really good.. Slainte |
| Posted by: Aaediwen 12-Oct-2005, 07:37 PM |
| I really like that one. So sad, and so true. I've felt that depressing wind down too many times in life, and I know I've not seen it's last for me. Very well put. A nice piece |
| Posted by: Haldur 14-Oct-2005, 10:43 AM |
| I like your work...reminds me of my kittens! |
| Posted by: Eventide 14-Oct-2005, 12:03 PM |
| thank-you, thank-you *curtsy* (all constructive comments welcome too) |
| Posted by: Eventide 15-Oct-2005, 01:17 AM |
| Everyone notices the sun-- so bright and commanding but the moon? When the moon crawls slowly, unpretentiously, up into the night sky, it silently floats by. I've been having a hard time sleeping lately so I've been taking short walks and I'm grateful, for the moon is my guide. Completed this evening: In twilight hours The moon a prudent mistress Shimmers softly |
| Posted by: Eventide 14-Dec-2005, 01:08 PM |
| This one tugs at my heartstrings.... She rarely spoke of her start in life Or the years she'd worked to overcome strife And all anyone saw was the smile in her eyes Too smug and self-righteous to ever realize Her tenderness, fragile, like a dream on the wind Made her easy to crush when she needed a friend When the love of her life loved someone else And spun her joy into a version of hell She sought out her comfort in the hugs of others But it was clear from their words they felt so far above her: it could be worse - don't cry do not weep you have no right here you sit so sad and sighing while half the world is dead or dying they shamed her heart with verse upon verse of "just remember - it could always be worse" She moved on and found new smiles Worked at making life worthwhile But soon enough the hard times hit The kids were hungry in clothes unfit She toiled from dawn till late at night Though sad and worn she did not cry Until one day in weariness She wept to friends of her distress But once again they could not see Past their own big heads to their friend in need it could be worse - don't cry do not weep you have no right here you sit so sad and sighing while half the world is dead or dying they tore her heart with verse upon verse of "just remember - it could always be worse" Then one day on a warm spring morning She fell to sickness with little warning The doctor confirmed her silent fears And told her she'd reached the dusk of her years Her heart was sad and she ached for friends For someone who'd hold her and help face the end But alone she drew her final breath And her "friends" were surprised when they heard of her death By way of GoodBye she left a few simple words And prayed they'd be heeded and not go unheard: You always told me not to cry That as for weeping I had no right When I was sad and fell to sighing You said just think, you could be dying You broke my heart with your careless verse Don't you know I knew it could have been worse? I only wanted warmth and love But no matter my need it was never enough My last dying hope is that somehow you'll see How hurtful and careless your actions can be And maybe the next time a "friend" needs some care You will be kinder, and you will be there So farewell, remember, the point of this letter: It could have been worse, but it should have been better. ~@~ |
| Posted by: Eventide 07-Feb-2006, 07:13 PM |
| To my secret valentine... The twilight haze, with swift goodbye, has ushered in a blushing sky, and as the darkness stretches thin a gentle morning filters in. Forgotten, dreams that filled my head as I slip quickly from my bed; all other souls lie peacefully a'slumber so they do not see. Warm winds will soon blow in to wake the crystal surface of the lake; tall reeds that skirt the edges there are mirrored in this moment rare. Reflected too, the pastel sky with cotton clouds that hover high, while pelicans with wings of snow scout fish to fill small beaks below. From leafy lofts in poplar trees a choir of wrens and chickadees bears homage to the rising sun, proclaiming thus the day begun. Upon my ear I feel the kiss of leaves that sigh in quiet bliss; within my heart, a warmth so rare that only you could place it there. What time could be more great than this, when early dawn and morning kiss for here, with worries swept away, begins the perfect summer day. A gift as none could ever find to soothe the soul and calm the mind, these precious moments, end to start, that you have given to my heart. |
| Posted by: Aaediwen 07-Feb-2006, 07:29 PM |
| Sounds pretty on my first read, although I confess that I read it too fast to pick up imagry |
| Posted by: Aaediwen 08-Feb-2006, 05:58 PM | ||
I've re-read, a little slower this time. Beautiful image of a divine, lakeside morning. |
| Posted by: Eventide 10-Feb-2006, 09:37 AM |
| Glad you liked it. Yet sometimes I wish I could write with a freer hand...make the words dance without rhyming every verse. Sometimes it honestly feels like I can't break out of a shell. |
| Posted by: Eventide 10-Feb-2006, 12:20 PM |
| Here's a sad example... I wanted to convey a complicated thought through simple words. I'm not sure if I've portrayed it quite the way I had intended yet--its a work in progress. I'm learning and please, any comments are welcome. Today I see just one Not the pair Filling me with dread as I listen to the longing in your song. You search high and low moving quickly, quietly from place to place. Is he a ghost now--gone forever Without a trace? Without a clue? I've been told countlessly that only time will heal. I've often wondered how... Back and forth, you come and go. You song rings out so clear, so true. A shining example of hope. Be still. You may not see it yet. His spirit rests in you. So that's the gist of it -- I'm having a hard time with this one. |
| Posted by: Aaediwen 10-Feb-2006, 07:14 PM |
| Here I've put some suggestions in perentheses that I think might make this piece better Keep in mind, that even after whatever you do with these revisions, there will probably be more polishing Today I see just one Not the pair Filling me with dread as I listen to (insert three syllables, maybe ending with a rhyme to 'longing') the longing in your song. You're searching high and low moving quickly, quietly from (insert adjetive) place to (insert adjetive) place. Is he a ghost now--forever gone Without a trace? Without a clue? I've been told countlessly that only time will heal. I've often wondered how... Back and forth, you come and go. (re-write this line) You song rings out so clear, so true. (could be made to work, but better to show, not tell) A shining example of hope. Be still. (lengthen this line) You may not see it yet. His spirit rests in you. |
| Posted by: Eventide 16-Feb-2006, 11:00 AM |
| thank you--much appreciated! |
| Posted by: Alilvna15 21-Feb-2006, 09:38 PM |
| Hi, I haven't posted on here for awhile...but my mom just had a baby. So I'm now the oldest of nine children. Well, anyway, this baby is really a miracle. And I wrote a poem for her. Abby’s Poem Ah, the beauty of a new born babe, Is just one of the wonders God has made. The life that God has placed on His earth, Has been given the gift of a brand new birth. This precious gift that has been given, Needs to be nurtured, just as it was written. And when the time is right, The little soul will be won without a fight. As we watch this little maiden grow, The Sunshine of God is on her, we know. The baby of the family, she might be, And a little spot of Joy we will soon see. Praise the Lord for His wonderful ways, For this little child is under His gaze. Abigail Elizabeth is our new maiden, For she has come to us from God’s Heaven. God will watch over her with all His might, For she is precious in His sight. Every little child is from God’s own hand, And a joy to all amidst a wounded land. Writtten by~ Alilvna15 |