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> Bagpipe Humor, Pretty Funny!
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haynes9 
Posted: 05-Apr-2006, 10:46 AM
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Disclaimer: I LOVE bagpipe music! Having said that, this is pretty good stuff. Hats off to Dr. Bob Griffin, a church planting pastor in Wyoming, for compiling these.

Q. How do you get two bagpipes to play a perfect unison?
A. Shoot one.

Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion?
A. People cry when you chop up an onion.

Q. What's the difference between a bagpipe and a trampoline?
A. You take off your shoes when you jump on a trampoline.

Q. How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch?
A. He can throw a ball into the middle of a pond and not hit any of the
Ducks.

Q. How is playing a bagpipe like throwing a javelin blindfolded?
A. You don't have to be very good to get people's attention.

Q. What's the difference between the Great Highland and Northumbrian
Bagpipes?
A. The GHB burns longer [but the Northumbrian burns hotter]

Q. What do you call bagpiper with half a brain?
A. Gifted.

Q. If you were lost in the woods, who would you trust for directions, an
In-tune bagpipe player, an out of tune bagpipe player, or Santa Claus?
A. The out of tune bagpipe player. The other two indicate you've been
hallucinating.

Q. How do you make a chain saw sound like a bagpipe?
A. Add vibrato.

Q. What's the definition of a gentleman?
A. Someone who knows how to play the bagpipe and doesn't.

Bonus:
Q. What's the difference between a dead snake in the road and a dead
Bagpiper in the road?
A. Skid marks in front of the snake.


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dundee 
Posted: 05-Apr-2006, 11:02 AM
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Q. why do pipers march when they play?
A. they are trying to get away from the sound.


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haynes9 
Posted: 05-Apr-2006, 11:17 AM
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QUOTE (dundee @ 05-Apr-2006, 09:02 AM)
Q. why do pipers march when they play?
A. they are trying to get away from the sound.

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morgana_l_f 
Posted: 05-Apr-2006, 02:06 PM
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Here's Some more.

Q. What's the difference between a dead bagpiper in the road and a dead country singer in the road?
A. The country singer may have been on the way to a recording session.

Q. How can you tell if a bagpipe is out of tune?
A. Someone is blowing into it.

Q. Why do pipe bands march when they play?
A. Moving targets are harder to hit.

One day a piper left his pipes in clear view on the backseat of his car. When he returned he was shocked to find the rear window broken and another set of pipes beside his.

"I've just washed my kilt and I can't do a fling with it."

Q. Why don't pipers polish their shoes?
A. So nobody will see up their kilt.

Q. What's worn under the kilt?
A. (to a man) Same as you only bigger.
A. (to a woman) Nothing lass it's in perfect working order.

Q. How do you put a twinkle in a piper's eye?
A. Shine a light in his ear.
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Dogshirt 
Posted: 05-Apr-2006, 04:10 PM
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Q: What's the range of a set o' pipes?

A: Aboot 20 yards af ye've got a guid arm! wink.gif


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stoirmeil 
Posted: 06-Apr-2006, 08:52 AM
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QUOTE (haynes9 @ 05-Apr-2006, 10:46 AM)
Q. How can you tell a bagpiper with perfect pitch?
A. He can throw a ball into the middle of a pond and not hit any of the
Ducks.


Hmmmm . . .

I thought the definition of "perfect pitch" with regard to bagpipes is if you can pitch them into the dumpster and land them right on top of the accordion without hitting the sides.

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NBEHTM 
Posted: 26-Apr-2006, 11:52 PM
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Q. What's the difference between a lawnmower and a bagpipe?
A. You can tune the lawnmower, and the owner's neighbors are upset if you borrow the lawnmower and don't return it.


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stevenpd 
Posted: 27-Apr-2006, 02:09 PM
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Q. What do you call ten bagpipes at the bottom of the ocean?

A. A start.


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-- Herbert Spencer, English Philosopher (1820-1903)
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