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Celtic Radio Community > General Discussion > Who Has Ever Betrayed A Friend?

Posted by: Elspeth 14-Jan-2004, 09:26 AM

This is an addition to the thread I have going in Philosophy, Science and Religion on Judas.

I thought I'd open it up to a more general audience and more applicable question.

So - who's betrayed their friend? Or been betrayed. Big or small. Stories encouraged.

Posted by: barddas 14-Jan-2004, 09:50 AM

I have never betrayed anyone that I know of.Conciously anyway....
But, I have only been "betrayed" once. My former wife. Her mother died 10 days before Christmas of '98. Very suddenly, and unexpected. My former wife took it very hard. Then 3 weeks later did a total 180 and told me she was leaving.... Moved in with a mutual friend of ours....there was no stop the progression of the deteriation of the relationship.. she wanted no part of..."need to FIND out who she was"..... Well, the big D happened ...and a few months after that i found out she had cheated on me... devistated even more...... wasn't a good time....

It's really sad to see her now. She is just a shell of who she used to be. No vigor left in her.... sad....

But, I am much better, and far happier than I have ever been. Thanks Jody! ( That would be my wife now

) Some times you have to go thru hell to be in heavan I guess.....

Posted by: RavenWing 14-Jan-2004, 09:58 AM

I think the closest thing to betrayal I have done is not being there for someone when they needed me, and not really wanting to be there for them.

Posted by: Eamon 14-Jan-2004, 10:07 AM

Know the feeling Barddas. Never been married, but found my best friend (now ex)at my girlfriends (now ex) house once. Then found another best friend (still a friend, actually) and another girlfriend (now ex, and a redhead to boot) parked out in front of his house doing the nasty. He only lived 2 blocks away, so I don't know how they thought they were going to get away with it...

Those were back when I was an impetuous youth. Had some REALLY bad stuff happen right before I went into surgury in 2002 that I am not ready to chat about. Still furious...

Eamon

Posted by: barddas 14-Jan-2004, 10:26 AM

Eamon, I understand your feelings. And to tell you the truth the best medicine is too talk about it...At least in my case... of course that didn't happen right away....But now, I can see her and it doesn't bother me... One has to move on, and take their own time and way of doing that. and now that she has moved far away.... I just think it's sad... she still running.....

If ya ever wanna vent you've got people who will listen.....

Cheers

Posted by: Annabelle 14-Jan-2004, 10:43 AM

I've been betrayed twice in my life. I have never betrayed a friend, never!
As first I thought I'd be more cautious in relationship matters but then I realized I'd be changing myself and that being cautious and guarded were not the real me.
So If I get betrayed they have to live with it, not me. I can look in the mirror and like the person I am. I can only worry about who I am and what kind of person I want to be.
Thank Goodness I've always had a hubby who loves me as I love him.We are equal partners in life and he'll always be my knight in shining armor.

Annabelle

Posted by: Eamon 14-Jan-2004, 10:55 AM

QUOTE (barddas @ Jan 14 2004, 11:26 AM)

If ya ever wanna vent you've got people who will listen.....

Cheers

Your a good man, Barddas. I will look you up and buy you a beer next time I am in Cincy. Or some Absinthe

Eamon

Posted by: gaberlunzie 14-Jan-2004, 11:18 AM

QUOTE (barddas @ Jan 14 2004, 10:50 AM)

Some times you have to go thru hell to be in heavan I guess.....

This is so very true!
I made a very similar experience and it really was hell and so very painful.
But you have to face it and to go through - I would have never become the person I am now...I'm having the best time of my life now.
Today I'm careful with calling someone a friend. There have been too many "fair-weather-friends" in my life. But I've got some few real friends . This makes me rich.
Good luck, Eamon...you will get through it as well, I'm sure.

Posted by: Aon_Daonna 14-Jan-2004, 11:24 AM

I have never been betrayed, or at least I am not aware of it..

When I start a friendship, I will be there for that person, regardless how hard it might be on me. I could never ever betray anybody, the bad conscience would tear me apart...

Posted by: gaberlunzie 14-Jan-2004, 11:42 AM

Bless you, Aon;

this means to be a friend but lots of folk love to HAVE friends rather than to BE friends. Sometimes being there for a friend might cost you some sleep, time, tears, emotional force and some other "sacrifices" which are none because you do it heartfully.
I couldn't betray either...how can one hurt someone trusting in you?
Well, I know one can - I can't!

Posted by: barddas 14-Jan-2004, 12:41 PM

QUOTE (Eamon @ Jan 14 2004, 12:55 PM)

QUOTE (barddas @ Jan 14 2004, 11:26 AM)

If ya ever wanna vent you've got people who will listen.....

Cheers

Your a good man, Barddas. I will look you up and buy you a beer next time I am in Cincy. Or some Absinthe

Eamon

Thank you. I try to be the best human I can to everyone.

That would be great! I'll see ya then....

Posted by: barddas 14-Jan-2004, 01:12 PM

QUOTE (gaberlunzie @ Jan 14 2004, 01:18 PM)

I totally agree gaberlunzie! I am the same person as before to a point. After something like that one has to reasses what *is* and isn't important. My former wife and I were ALWAYS together. Now I like and need to have "MY" time and space. As does my wife now. I think it is impotant.
My friends are a very close knit group. And I am very lucky for that!!! They are extended family, that is just how it is. And we all know, or have learnd this when situations arise. All of us pull together to make sure that all is well, and that things are taken care of.

Posted by: Aon_Daonna 14-Jan-2004, 02:15 PM

I don't think friendship means that you're always have to sit on each other all the time. In the opposite, I think being friends means you have to be able to leave each other room to breathe and get along their own way, but still be there for them if they need you.
That is what friendship or a relationship means for me.

Posted by: Richard Bercot 14-Jan-2004, 02:46 PM

To my knowledge, I have never Betrayed a Friend even thought he though I did.

He and his Wife had gotten a Divorce and she was being a True Pain in the you know where. She would go out of her way to Publicly Humilate him. I had always said that I was not going to take sides in this, but after seeing what I saw, I had no choice.

One day she asked me to help her load up a truck so that she could move to another State and get married to another man. I was there in a heart beat, just so that she would leave and would be out of my Friends hair. But in the process, she took his son with her. My Friend was so upset with me, he would not talk to me for months until someone spoke up to him and explained why I had helped her leave.

All was forgiven and we are Friends once again.

Posted by: Annabelle 14-Jan-2004, 02:48 PM

Richard you just caught in the middle. As hard as you try sometimes you can't stay out of things.
A

Posted by: gaberlunzie 14-Jan-2004, 02:50 PM

QUOTE (barddas @ Jan 14 2004, 02:12 PM)

Now I like and need to have "MY" time and space. As does my wife now. I think it is impotant.

Exactly. This is essential. As close as one might feel to one another...one is still an individual and needs his space or, how Aon says, room to breathe.

A man without friends or a friend is a poor man, isn't he?

That's what I received from a friend recently:

A FRIEND IS ONE
TO WHOM ONE MAY POUR
OUT ALL THE CONTENTS
OFF ONE'S HEART -
CHAFF AND GRAIN TOGETHER -
KNOWING THAT THE
GENTLEST OF HANDS
WILL TAKE AND SIFT IT
KEEP WHAT IS WORTH KEEPING
AND WITH A BREATH OF KINDNESS
BLOW THE REST AWAY.

(Arabian Proverb)

Posted by: RavenWing 14-Jan-2004, 02:55 PM

Here is something I got about friends.

Friend,

When you are sad, ...I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge
against the sorry S.O.B. who made you sad.

When you are blue, ....I'll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

When you smile, ...I'll know you finally got some.

When you are scared, ...I will rag you about it every chance I get.

When you are worried, ...I will tell you horrible stories about how much
worse it could be and to quit whining.

When you are confused, ...I will use little words to explain it to you.

When you are sick, ...stay away from me until you're well again. I don't
want whatever you have.

When you fall, ....I will point and laugh you
This is my oath, ...I pledge 'till the end.

Posted by: tartangal 14-Jan-2004, 03:07 PM

I have never betrayed a friend ( I think). I say I think because sometimes it is in inaction that we are betrayed and not in action.
I had a good friend that I used to go on holiday with over a number of years. We planned to go to New York and were really excited.When planning, a casual friend 's marriage broke up and she seemed very down. To cheer her we invited her along.
Although I loved New York, I was miserable since this casual friend took every opportunity to put me down and made me feel really bad about myself ( didn't really need it cos my self confidence wasn't that great to start with.)
What hurt me more was that my friend made no effort to defend me or to support me. That was the greatest betrayal of all.
Happily I now have friends who accept and like me for what I am and who show the true meaning of friendship especially loyalty.

Posted by: andylucy 14-Jan-2004, 03:15 PM

I have never knowingly betrayed a friend. Not to say that I haven't done it, but I don't know it if I have. I will never have enough friends that I can afford to stab one in the back or turn my back on one when they needed me.

On the other hand, walking in on my now ex-wife in flagrante delicto with the guy that I thought was my best friend from college, I think that rates as betrayal. C'est la vie, c'est l'amour. One lives and learns.

Just my tuppence.

Andy

Posted by: CelticRose 14-Jan-2004, 09:45 PM

I was very badly betrayed by a friend a year ago. It has been one of the most painful experiences of my life as I take my friendships very seriously. WE were able to talk things out and forgive one another. I am a very sensitive person and take things to heart and as a result I reacted inappropriately to my hurt by her. We are back being friends to this day, but I think the trust will never return for the both of us.