Pinned: Pub humour (Pages 1 2 3 ...211 )
ranger |
Posted on: 16-Oct-2012, 08:49 AM |
Replies: 3,156 Views: 172,454
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A husband and wife were out playing golf. They tee off and one drive goes to the right and one drive goes to the left. The wife finds her ball in a patch of buttercups. She grabs a club and takes a mighty swing at the ball. She hits a beautiful second shot, but in the process she hacks the hell out of the buttercups. Suddenly a woman appears out of nowhere. She blocks her path to her golf bag and looks at her and says, "I'm Mother Nature, and I don't like the way you treated my buttercups. From now on, you won't be able to stand the taste of butter. Each time you eat butter you will become physically ill to the point of total nausea." The mystery woman then disappears as quickly as she appeared. Shaken, the wife calls out to her husband "Hey, where's your ball?" "It's over here in the pussy willows." The wife screams back, "DON'T HIT THE BALL!!!! DON'T HIT THE BALL!!!!" |
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Forum: Ye Ole Celtic Pub - Open all day, all night! · Post Preview: #307122 |
Pinned: Pub humour (Pages 1 2 3 ...211 )
ranger |
Posted on: 15-Oct-2012, 09:41 AM |
Replies: 3,156 Views: 172,454
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A funeral service is held for a woman who just passed away. As the pallbearers carry the casket out, they accidentally bump into a wall.
They hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find that the woman is actually alive.
She lives for 10 more years and then dies. They have another funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket.
As they are walking, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!" |
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Forum: Ye Ole Celtic Pub - Open all day, all night! · Post Preview: #307118 |
ranger |
Posted on: 19-Sep-2012, 09:15 AM |
Replies: 2 Views: 2,603
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As an older player just coming back, the reset was new to me. Certainly seems a little too quick, but, eh who knows. |
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Forum: Medieval Kingdom · Post Preview: #306958 |
ranger |
Posted on: 14-Aug-2012, 11:03 AM |
Replies: 12 Views: 2,109
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QUOTE (Shadows @ 13-Aug-2012, 03:37 PM) | QUOTE (ranger @ 13-Aug-2012, 02:20 PM) | Little off topic, but if you have a grill.....
Slice jalapeno in half longways, Fill with cream cheese and olives, Wrap in bacon and hold in place with a water soaked toothpick, Grill until bacon is done......
They're easy to make on a picnic or camping out with just a bit of prep time. |
You don't even need a grill for these, make a small fire and heat a flat rock large enough to hold all your poppers. These could even be made ahead of time at home and brought along cold.
Great idea ranger!
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Thanks. And I'll have to try the re-warming idea with a hot rock. |
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Forum: From Your Kitchen to My Plate · Post Preview: #306647 |
Pinned: Pub humour (Pages 1 2 3 ...211 )
ranger |
Posted on: 14-Aug-2012, 07:01 AM |
Replies: 3,156 Views: 172,454
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Two elderly women were out driving in a large car-both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself "I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light."
After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and the light was red again and again they went right though. This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to see what was going on.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through and she turned to the other woman and said, "Mildred! Did you know we just ran through three red lights in a row! You could have killed us!"
Mildred turned to her and said, "Oh, am I driving?" |
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Forum: Ye Ole Celtic Pub - Open all day, all night! · Post Preview: #306643 |
ranger |
Posted on: 13-Aug-2012, 12:20 PM |
Replies: 12 Views: 2,109
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Little off topic, but if you have a grill.....
Slice jalapeno in half longways, Fill with cream cheese and olives, Wrap in bacon and hold in place with a water soaked toothpick, Grill until bacon is done......
They're easy to make on a picnic or camping out with just a bit of prep time. |
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Forum: From Your Kitchen to My Plate · Post Preview: #306621 |
Pinned: Pub humour (Pages 1 2 3 ...211 )
ranger |
Posted on: 03-Jun-2009, 09:07 AM |
Replies: 3,156 Views: 172,454
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A Bar Tale
A man is sitting in a bar far from home when Barack Obama comes on TV. The man looks at the TV and says, "Obama is a horse's ass." Out of nowhere, a local jumps up and punches him in the face, knocking The first guy off his bar stool, then stomps out.
He gets up, rubbing his cheek and orders another beer. Shortly after, Michelle Obama appears on the TV. He looks at the TV and Says, "She is a horse's ass too!"
Out of nowhere, another local punches him on the other side of the Face, knocking him off his bar stool again.
He gets back up and looks at the bartender, "I take it this is Obama Country?"
"Nope." replies the bartender. "Horse country."
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Forum: Ye Ole Celtic Pub - Open all day, all night! · Post Preview: #282061 |
ranger |
Posted on: 02-Jun-2009, 01:22 PM |
Replies: 12 Views: 1,878
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I believe everyone is taking this waaay too seriously...it's a show for entertainment purposes only. That being said, you obviously have the choice to watch it or not. |
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Forum: Celtic Radio · Post Preview: #282021 |
Pinned: Pub humour (Pages 1 2 3 ...211 )
ranger |
Posted on: 02-Jun-2009, 01:18 PM |
Replies: 3,156 Views: 172,454
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A woman calls her boss one morning and tells him that she is staying home because she is not feeling well.
"What's the matter?" he asks. "I have a case of anal glaucoma," she says in a weak voice. "What the hell is anal glaucoma?" "I can't see my ass coming into work today."
.........Being an Army veteran, I love yours, maisky. |
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Forum: Ye Ole Celtic Pub - Open all day, all night! · Post Preview: #282020 |
ranger |
Posted on: 02-Jun-2009, 01:15 PM |
Replies: 5 Views: 451
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Hey, PhillipMcGuinness. A beer to you from Western Kentucky.... |
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Forum: Introductions · Post Preview: #282019 |
ranger |
Posted on: 28-May-2009, 08:53 PM |
Replies: 884 Views: 39,896
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$2.42 before we left town this afternoon.
$2.54 when we got back this evening..... |
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Forum: Quizes & Polls · Post Preview: #281772 |
ranger |
Posted on: 28-May-2009, 08:52 PM |
Replies: 503 Views: 44,432
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Had a soccer game a few hours drive away from home tonight. Stopped at a place called 'The Black Buggy'. Been a while since I've been there.....forgot how much I missed it. It's an Amish restaurant with some of the best home-cooking you can get outside of your home. Splurged on meat loaf, dressing, mashed potatoes, stewed tomatoes, mac and cheese, sweet tea, homemade bread........you get the point. Did I mention dessert? |
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Forum: The Jester's Court · Post Preview: #281771 |
ranger |
Posted on: 26-May-2009, 07:44 AM |
Replies: 7 Views: 1,087
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Welcome back, marthien. I'm not sure how ling you've been gone, but things have changed a little around here. Good luck in the re-build..... |
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Forum: Medieval Kingdom · Post Preview: #281627 |
ranger |
Posted on: 21-May-2009, 08:53 PM |
Replies: 2,510 Views: 68,363
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Got near the mid-80's. Warmest day yet this year. We've managed almost one whole week without rain, which is quite the accomplishment this season. Supposed to be the same for the next few days. Chance of rain on Memorial Day....of course. |
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Forum: The Jester's Court · Post Preview: #281490 |
ranger |
Posted on: 16-May-2009, 03:09 PM |
Replies: 33 Views: 97,028
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I was just teasing, my dear......
As you said, it was just to get you thinking about all of the different possibilities or things you would want to see. Who knows, maybe you could go far enough ahead and science and war and global warming and whatever else you wanted to add in had not only destroyed the world as we know it, but had changed the geographical layout. And now magic had taken the place of science, and elves and other fantasy beings were now "sharing" the new earth with humans...... |
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Forum: Medieval Gateway · Post Preview: #281327 |
ranger |
Posted on: 14-May-2009, 08:58 PM |
Replies: 33 Views: 97,028
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Sorry if this has been covered....but I would actually like to go forward. There are so many possibilities in that. Of course, first we'd have to establish when, or how far you want to go into the future. But since it hasn't actually occurred yet, let's cheat and just say that we could make stops every 100 years or so. Just to see how everything has changed, for the good or bad. How far do we want to go? What new inventions have been created (and which "old fashioned" ones are still in use)? Are countries still the same geographically, same forms of government, etc. What is the music like, or is there music? Has food changed? Do we have space travel yet? What do my descendants look like???? What would it be like to speak with your gggggggggggggggrandson or daughter? Would we even be here? At what point do we "die off" as a human race? What is the cause of it? Do we want to know??? As interesting as the past is, and how much we can learn from studying it, the future holds so many infinite and unknown possibilities.......from the small and seemingly insignificant to huge and earth-shattering changes. |
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Forum: Medieval Gateway · Post Preview: #281258 |
ranger |
Posted on: 07-May-2009, 12:30 PM |
Replies: 17 Views: 2,804
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Sounds great. I already asked Paul to just mail us the correct ones and if you wanted that I could just bring it by to you. I'll PM you later when it comes in.
John |
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Forum: Celtic Radio · Post Preview: #280919 |
ranger |
Posted on: 07-May-2009, 06:33 AM |
Replies: 17 Views: 2,804
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Englishmix...I'll swap you. I believe the one I got is very Ren Faire oriented. The offer is your's if you want..... |
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Forum: Celtic Radio · Post Preview: #280902 |
ranger |
Posted on: 06-May-2009, 07:59 PM |
Replies: 17 Views: 2,804
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I claim this CD... |
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Forum: Celtic Radio · Post Preview: #280890 |
ranger |
Posted on: 05-May-2009, 07:56 PM |
Replies: 7 Views: 469
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Welcome Collin. I'm sure you'll find this site extremely fun and useful and the people really friendly. There are many forums and topics to talk about. So listen to the great music and start exploring....and I'll drink a pint of whatever you're having. |
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Forum: Introductions · Post Preview: #280848 |
ranger |
Posted on: 05-May-2009, 07:51 PM |
Replies: 7 Views: 443
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Briana, welcome. I know you will find the site extremely fun and useful. There are many friendly people here that can help you along on the gaming side of it. There are several of us that are not "gamers" but find it just the right speed for most of us beginners. That's the beauty of the game. You can really just play at your own pace and learn as you go along. As far as the rest of the site goes, there are many, many forums to browse through and chat on, as well as great music to listen to. If you have any questions on the game, please feel free to PM me, or anyone for that matter, and I am sure we can help you out.
Cheers,
Ranger |
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Forum: Introductions · Post Preview: #280847 |
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