Group: Super Moderator
Posts: 3,069
Joined: 09-Oct-2003 Zodiac: Holly
Realm: Kentucky
Get a couple pounds of C4 and a 9V battery. And then take it to Washington DC to see how far you get. And if anyone in any manner of uniform asks you about it, tell them it's a joke. bet they'd think it's really funny. Might even give you free room and board for a while.
Heading out to the desert for a while to get away. Advice?
For starters, don't take any water, or anything to carry water in. Don't bother with sunscreen either- all that talk about skin cancer is just a marketing ploy. Other things you won't need- a tent, sleeping bag, hat, food (there's a McDonalds practically everywhere these days!), and compass or GPS. When you get to the desert, just pick a direction and walk for a couple of hours, then see where you end up! You'll probably be away from it all!
If it’s “critical” rush it to the emergency room, then you can visit it in ICU. Or you can just throw it into the dishwasher. That should clean it out.
When ever I’m driving, my wife flinches so much. I have to breathe into a paper bag to hyperventilate, any ideas?
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We’re all poets, only some of us write it down. JC 9/27/08
Anyone who has the courage to disagree, deserves all do respect. JC 4/28/08
Life is a loosing battle, so you might as well live it up. J.C. 3/29/08
Life should be like skiing, you have the most fun on the way down. J.C. 8/17/07
Take their word for it, and that’s just what you’ll get. J.C. 3/19/07
Only the truth is worth the ultimate sacrifice. J.C. 1/26/06
Compared to the far right, the far left is somewhere in the middle. J.C. 2/22/06
I’ll be the first to apologies, as long as I get one back. J.C. 3/7/06
It’s a happy man, who can laugh at himself.
If you’re looking for a new experience, don’t hire someone with a lot of it. J.C. sometime in 1990
Group: Super Moderator
Posts: 11,254
Joined: 05-Jun-2005 Zodiac: Elder
Realm: Ganado, Navajo Nation, Arizona
Just go ahead and hyperventilate! That will teach your wife to stop flinching! And while you're at it, act like you've passed out at the wheel. That's always great for a few laughs!
Gotta replace the catalytic converter on the church van. Any good recommended shortcuts on this job?
Just don't replace it at all. Who cares about the extra pollution anyway?
I want to get a different job in my field, but my contract has a three year non-competition clause. What should I do?
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God then made man. The Italians for their beauty. The French for their cuisine. The Welsh for their voices. The Germans for their cars. And on and on until He looked at what He had created and said, "This is all very well, but no-one is having fun. I'll have to make an Irishman."
Group: Super Moderator
Posts: 11,254
Joined: 05-Jun-2005 Zodiac: Elder
Realm: Ganado, Navajo Nation, Arizona
Walk in the office and ask your boss what he's so afraid of! DARE him to invoke that clause! Tell him you're not afraid because you don't think he has the guts!
BTW, I'll be starting a jail ministry soon. See you there !
My youngest son is coming home for a couple of days this weekend. What can we do to make it special?
Group: Super Moderator
Posts: 11,254
Joined: 05-Jun-2005 Zodiac: Elder
Realm: Ganado, Navajo Nation, Arizona
Have a garage sale and sell all of her stuff without her knowing it. If she gets mad, tell her it's your way of showing her that materialism is an inherent evil. (and duck while she throws what's left at you!).
I need to visit with some folks that are staying at the cabin next to our house, but I also have a ton of work to do. Advise me, oh great ones!
Visiting always trumps doing a ton of work. Besides you might get a hernia.
Please not another garage sail. Why these days even The Salvation Army locks the doors, whenever they see me coming. Now she’s talking about putting her stuff in storage, but what I’m wondering is: who is going to pay for it?
you are of course, cost you an arm and a leg for the smallest one there, but then that isn't big enough to hold it all, and it will cost you more money than you expected every month!
got a ton of homework to do, how do I get motivated?
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