Not too long ago you might remember one of our Celtic Radio members, Robert McGrady (alas, I cannot remember his CR name) wrote to all members requesting prayers for his son, Aaron, since he had just been diagnosed with cancer. Not too long after that, Robert found Caringbridge.org and moved his posts to their site.
I have been keeping up with Aaron's condition and it seemed like all was running well - the doctor's apparently seemed pleased. However, Robert's latest post tells a different story, which I am copying here, along with the URL for the Caringbridge site.
What I request is simple - for those of you who would do so, please keep Aaron, Robert and Dawn in your prayers that God's will be done, whatever it may be, and that especially God provide the wisdom and guidance at this important time.
There are so many wonderful people that have followed this journal over the past months, and I wanted to personally tell as many as I could the news we got today. So I have made several phone calls, but it was simply not possible to get to everyone.
The doctor called in the early afternoon. He said the results of the bone marrow sample were positive, meaning that the cancer has spread to the marrow. This likely accounts for the leg pain. What followed was the conversation I have dreaded all along. Without going in to some of the deeper areas of discussion, the simple fact is that Aaron's cancer cannot be cured. The large tumor in his abdomen is not operable, and since the first two phases of chemotherapy have been unsuccessful, the likelihood of any further chemo having the needed impact on the size and degree to which it has infiltrated the organs is so scant that it brings into question whether the results of the treatment are worth the side effects. To be more direct, the science surrounding the type of cancer Aaron has states that at this point, Aaron has effectively lost his battle. The doctors say that the chemo drugs next in line will do little more than prolong the agony. Also the doctor was quite emphatic that regardless of the treatment, the tumor will not be shrunken to a point where it is possible to be removed. His words were that it is no longer a question of if Aaron will die from cancer, but when.
What has to happen now is to decide whether it is worth putting Aaron through further treatment and all the pain and discomfort that accompanies it, or to do whatever can be done to keep him from suffering while nature takes its course. Dawn and I have discussed this, and we both feel this decision should be up to Aaron. After all, he is the one who has dealt with the pain and sickness of the disease.
We told Aaron about all this when Dawn came home from work. It was the hardest conversation I've ever had to have with anyone in my life. It was also the first time my son has ever seen me cry. I think that kind of startled him. He seemed less concerned for himself than he was for me. He did cry a little bit himself, but as always, he managed to pull himself together rather quickly. In fact Aaron appeared to be somewhat relieved. I can't explain it, but I suspect that he's felt it in his heart for some time and having it confirmed allowed him to stop stressing over it. He didn't, however, give me or Dawn any indication whether he wanted to try the other chemo drug or not. I suppose he wants to wait to hear what the doctors tell him on Friday. Regardless, this sweet child of mine has just been though so much in the last eight months that whatever his decision, Dawn and I are prepared to support him. Right now (nearly 2 a.m.) Aaron is sleeping on the love seat next to me. He has been there for over 36 hours with the exception of going to the bathroom and riding with his mom to pick up his grandmother.
I don't know at this time what to expect in the immediate future. I will, of course, post anything of substance as soon as I can. That said, let me just share this thought. I am an unashamed believer in God. I know He is there and in control. I also know that he has a plan for Aaron. What I don't know is what that plan is. But regardless of what happens with Aaron and any treatment he may or may not have, it is God's will that will be done. If He wills that Aaron live, then Aaron will live whether he gets treatment or not. And if He wills that Aaron pass on, then he will pass on in spite of treatment. That, plus the fact that I want to honor and respect my son as much as I can, is the reason we are so willing to let Aaron decide what is best for himself. He is the one suffering from the disease and the treatment, so he should be allowed to decide if he wants to tackle even more drugs that will diminish his quality of life. When the hope of a cure is gone, there's really not much left. But if he does want to give it a try, then we are behind that decision too. I'm not sure when we'll get his final answer, but it should be by Monday morning. I'll make an entry in this journal when I do know. Until then I will continue to pray for a miracle, and ask any who read this to do the same.
My heart goes out to your friend Muircheartach and my prayers as well. Life sometimes seems unfair in our eyes but like your friend (Robert) I do believe in God and that whatever happens in life there is a reason for it. I really do hope the best for him and his son.
Thanks for sharing this story with us.
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"Few men are brave:many become so through training and discipline." Flavius Vegetius Renatus
"I think a hero is an ordinary individual who finds strenght to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles." Christopher Reeve
This is a situation when words just fail me though my heart is overflowing with feelings. As a mother of two sons I can at least get a bit of an idea what this all means for Aaron and his family. I'm not ashamed to say that I shed tears while reading this. My heart is going out to them. Whatever way they will be walking, whatever decision they will make; I will be praying for them been given all strength that will be needed, arms to hold them and shoulders to lean on when it all seems to become to hard to bear, hands reaching out for them.
Thank you for your post, Muircheartach.
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"Now here's my secret", said the fox, "it is very simple. It is only with ones heart that one can see clearly. What is essential is invisible to the eye."
("The Little Prince" by Antoine de Saint-Exupery)
"The soul would have no rainbow, if the eye had no tears." (Native American Proverb)
Thank you so much for posting this update on Aaron. I willl be praying for Aaron and his family that God will be merciful during this time. It's amazing that Aaron was more concerned with his father than he was for himself. I saw my best friend go through cancer treatment for an agressive form of lymphoma this past year. One of the last things she told her family was that she would go through it all again if it would bring one person closer to the Lord.
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"He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty. I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God, in whom I trust."" Psalm 91:1-2
"Be what you would seem to be--or, if you'd like it put more simply--Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise." from "Alice in Wonderland"
I. too have been keeping up with the progress of Aaron. I was so saddened to hear of the lasest update. I can't believe how aggressive this cancer has been in his little body!
Last year on St. Patrick's Day we hosted a Children's Cancer Fundraiser called "St. Baldricks" I was inspired to do so because of Aaron's story. Our little group of 50ish people raised over $11,000. Hopefully we will so better next year. I am always so amazed by the strenght families have During these times. I know that their family are very storng Believers and that they know that God's will will be done...althought that doesn't make it any easier.
God Bless them all!
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[color=red]"I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision." Maya Angelou
from our lips to god's ears & heart...special people like aaron deserve to be able to live life to a ripe old age, i hope that the doctors may still find some miracles of their own.
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non nobis domine,non nobis sed nomini tua da gloriam.
I've just been reading the last post that Rob made today, and the series of them that he's made over the last several days. (He calls himself "SCShamrock" on CelticRadio). Sorry if this gets messy but I can't see the screen very well for tears.
We (yes, we, although I am not typically what you call the praying kind, and some of you will remember what tussles Rob and I have had over politics in the past) are all praying for the boy. But I would say it is time to also pray for the dad, our friend that we know, who is confronting the unimaginable with everything in him, and what a fortress of faith and honesty about his own feelings that is turning out to be. I am awestruck witnessing how he is moving himself through this, and especially at how much compassion and understanding the boy and his dad have for each other.
Hold on tight to each other, Aaron and Rob. We are with you the best way we can be.
My heart is breaking. I cannot imagine what the entire family must be going through. I pray that the Lord makes this as easy on them as possible...not that it could ever be easy. God bless them all.
Barbara
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