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haynes9 
Posted: 06-May-2007, 07:34 AM
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Show the teens that you're a cool dude! Let them all take it for a spin around the block! After all, they'll be very careful with it!

I'm buying new leather furniture for the wife. What should I do with the old stuff?


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Always vote for principle, though you may vote alone, and you may cherish the sweetest reflection that your vote is never lost. -- John Quincy Adams

Do your duty in all things. You cannot do more, you should never wish to do less - Robert E. Lee

For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved - Romans 10:13 (KJV)

The Lord is good, a strong hold in the day of trouble, and he knoweth them that trust in him - Nahum 1:7 (KJV)
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Lady of the Loch 
Posted: 07-May-2007, 03:05 PM
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throw it out on the side of the road so it can draw bugs, animals and more junk and make the highways look a little more trashy


I am frustrated with everything today, what should I do?
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Aaediwen 
Posted: 07-May-2007, 03:49 PM
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Get a couple pounds of C4 and a 9V battery. And then take it to Washington DC to see how far you get. And if anyone in any manner of uniform asks you about it, tell them it's a joke. bet they'd think it's really funny. Might even give you free room and board for a while.

Heading out to the desert for a while to get away. Advice?


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Líadan Siofra 
Posted: 07-May-2007, 05:14 PM
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For starters, don't take any water, or anything to carry water in. Don't bother with sunscreen either- all that talk about skin cancer is just a marketing ploy. Other things you won't need- a tent, sleeping bag, hat, food (there's a McDonalds practically everywhere these days!), and compass or GPS. When you get to the desert, just pick a direction and walk for a couple of hours, then see where you end up! You'll probably be away from it all!

I don't want to go to work tonight. Should I?
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maisky 
Posted: 07-May-2007, 06:54 PM
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Go to work? Why do that? Better to go to a bar for a couple dozen drinks. Then you can go back out on your street corner... biggrin.gif

My wife is frustrated with housebreaking the puppy, what should I do?


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Carl Sagan
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Simon_ig 
Posted: 08-May-2007, 01:59 AM
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Get a new wife.


The hard drive in my laptop no longer has room for additional "critical" updates from Microsoft. What should I do?
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John Clements 
Posted: 08-May-2007, 07:14 AM
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If it’s “critical” rush it to the emergency room, then you can visit it in ICU. Or you can just throw it into the dishwasher. That should clean it out.

When ever I’m driving, my wife flinches so much. I have to breathe into a paper bag to hyperventilate, any ideas?


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We’re all poets, only some of us write it down. JC 9/27/08

Anyone who has the courage to disagree, deserves all do respect. JC 4/28/08

Life is a loosing battle, so you might as well live it up.
J.C. 3/29/08

Life should be like skiing, you have the most fun on the way down. J.C. 8/17/07

Take their word for it, and that’s just what you’ll get.
J.C. 3/19/07

Only the truth is worth the ultimate sacrifice.
J.C. 1/26/06

Compared to the far right, the far left is somewhere in the middle. J.C. 2/22/06

I’ll be the first to apologies, as long as I get one back.
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It’s a happy man, who can laugh at himself.

If you’re looking for a new experience, don’t hire someone with a lot of it. J.C. sometime in 1990
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haynes9 
Posted: 09-May-2007, 11:07 PM
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Just go ahead and hyperventilate! That will teach your wife to stop flinching! And while you're at it, act like you've passed out at the wheel. That's always great for a few laughs!

Gotta replace the catalytic converter on the church van. Any good recommended shortcuts on this job?
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pflanary 
Posted: 14-May-2007, 11:05 AM
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Just don't replace it at all. Who cares about the extra pollution anyway?

I want to get a different job in my field, but my contract has a three year non-competition clause. What should I do?


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God then made man. The Italians for their beauty. The French for their cuisine. The Welsh for their voices. The Germans for their cars. And on and on until He looked at what He had created and said, "This is all very well, but no-one is having fun. I'll have to make an Irishman."
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haynes9 
Posted: 14-May-2007, 08:51 PM
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Walk in the office and ask your boss what he's so afraid of! DARE him to invoke that clause! Tell him you're not afraid because you don't think he has the guts!

BTW, I'll be starting a jail ministry soon. See you there tongue.gif !

My youngest son is coming home for a couple of days this weekend. What can we do to make it special?
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pflanary 
Posted: 15-May-2007, 08:26 AM
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Why bother doing any thing special? Assign him all the chores he didn't have to do while he was away.

I can't listen to Highlander Radio at home because I can only afford a dialup connection. What should I do.
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John Clements 
Posted: 18-May-2007, 07:29 AM
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Throw a rent party and invite “the Chieftains”.

My house is overflowing with stuff, and my daughter just came home from school. With twice as much stuff as she left with.
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haynes9 
Posted: 18-May-2007, 08:30 AM
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Have a garage sale and sell all of her stuff without her knowing it. If she gets mad, tell her it's your way of showing her that materialism is an inherent evil. (and duck while she throws what's left at you!).

I need to visit with some folks that are staying at the cabin next to our house, but I also have a ton of work to do. Advise me, oh great ones!
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John Clements 
Posted: 18-May-2007, 12:34 PM
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Visiting always trumps doing a ton of work. Besides you might get a hernia.


Please not another garage sail. Why these days even The Salvation Army locks the doors, whenever they see me coming. Now she’s talking about putting her stuff in storage, but what I’m wondering is: who is going to pay for it?
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Lady of the Loch 
Posted: 18-May-2007, 07:23 PM
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you are of course, cost you an arm and a leg for the smallest one there, but then that isn't big enough to hold it all, and it will cost you more money than you expected every month!

got a ton of homework to do, how do I get motivated?
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