Tatanka |
Posted on: 18-Oct-2009, 04:23 PM |
Replies: 6 Views: 1,921
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The economy is so bad:
I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. I ordered a burger at McDonalds and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?" CEO's are now playing miniature golf. If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them. Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM. McDonalds is selling the 1/4 ouncer. Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names. A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico . Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting. Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore. The Mafia is laying off judges. Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen. Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear. |
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Forum: Ye Ole Celtic Pub - Open all day, all night! · Post Preview: #288728 |
Tatanka |
Posted on: 22-Jun-2009, 04:06 PM |
Replies: 10 Views: 13,096
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Kids Are Quick ____________________________________ TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America . MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? CLASS: Maria. ____________________________________ TEACHER: David, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? DAVID: You told me to do it without using tables. __________________________________________ TEACHER: Dana, how do you spell 'crocodile?' DANA: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' TEACHER: No, that's wrong DANA: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. (I Love this kid) ____________________________________________ TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O. __________________________________ TEACHER: Betsy, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. Betsy: Me! __________________________________________ TEACHER: Paige, why do you always get so dirty? PAIGE: & nbsp; Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. _______________________________________ TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.' MILLIE: I is.. TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.' MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.' ________________________________ TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him? LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand. ______________________________________ TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. ______________________________ TEACHER: Rhonda, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? RHONDA: No, sir. It's the same dog. ___________________________________ TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD: A teacher __________________________________ PASS IT AROUND AND MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH! LAUGHTER IS THE SOUL'S MEDICINE |
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Forum: Ye Ole Celtic Pub - Open all day, all night! · Post Preview: #282651 |
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