, It's that time of the year again.
Posted: 18-Oct-2004, 05:20 PM
Fear-leanmhainn an Rėgh
Realm: Cape Coral, Florida, USA, Planet Earth
Quick, turn off the porch light and don't answer the door, those hoodlums, oops, I mean, darling children are preparing to suffer from to much sugar at the end of this month.
"You know you're Overdoing Halloween when..." from "a joke a day ministries"
you're pestered all year by kids who want to know
what the theme for THIS year is?
you find yourself thinking that one corpse
is more attractive than another?
you get more excited over a fog machine than
your new car?
you have more help at your haunt than necessary
for an old-fashioned barn raising?
you have more than ten sound effect CD's?
you have names for the skeletons in your closet?
you play spooky music all year round?
you spend more on one Halloween than on your
you spend more on one Halloween than on your spouse
for the entire history of your marriage?
you spend more on one Halloween than on buying
an anniversary present for your spouse?
your neighbors look slantways at you and avoid
you a full month before Halloween?
your shed, basement, & attic contain nothing
but Halloween props?
the only candelabra you own is in a spider web motif?
there a monster under your bed because your
attic/basement/shed is full?
your electric bill is higher in October than in July?
the family dog ignores masked individuals
breaking into your house?
instead of giving your child a cat or dog did you
give them a gargoyle to play with?
your neighbors are asked about Halloween,
do they roll their eyes and point at your house?
the guy at the paint counter at the hardware store
sees you coming and starts stacking gallon cans
of flat black and bright pumpkin orange on the counter.
you go to "Goth Night" at a local teen center, armed with
a pocketful of "volunteer recruitment" flyers.
you can't watch a horror movie without jotting
down ideas every two minutes.
you're nervous about taking rolls of film in to be
developed, for fear the police might show up at your
house looking for the corpses that the developer clued
them in to.
you have a room in your house reserved for special
props/projects, and won't allow anyone in there
because it'll "spoil the Halloween surprise!"
you scare other family members or neighbors on a
regular basis, often without meaning to.
your ideal pet would be a black cat, a tarantula,
a snake, a bat, or a rat.
people refuse to walk into your house at night.
people refuse to walk into your house in broad daylight!
you have a customized license plate that has
something to do with Halloween.
you start actually setting up your yard haunt in August
and don't get it all down until almost Christmas...
you still aren't finished on Halloween, but it'll do.
Gotta start earlier next year...
you cannot throw ANYTHING away that could even
CONCEIVABLY be used to scare someone.
(Even if you don't know how yet...)
the boys in the white coats are afraid to come in your yard
your children turn their bedroom into a giant spider web by
stringing yarn everywhere and pretend to attack when you
get tangled in it.
the Kids hiss at each other and make claws with their
hands when they fight.
"Addams Family" books are the most commonly read
children's books laying around.
you still think your kids are well adjusted....
By way of [email protected]
I know that my Redeemer lives, and that in the end he will stand upon the earth. Job 19:25
"Non sibi sed patriae!"
Reviresco (I grow strong again)
Clan MacEwen motto
My Ewing Family Motto
(descendants of Baron William Ewing of Glasgow, born about 1630)
"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt." Abraham Lincoln
"Igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum." from "Epitoma Rei Militaris," by Vegetius
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