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Celtic Radio Community > The Jester's Court > Please Help A Young Teenage Girl

Posted by: frozenrose97 21-May-2004, 02:28 PM

well here's my story:

A while back, on valentine's day someone sent me an instant message. They told me that they were this boy in my class. Ever since then I have been talking online to this person thinking that they were this boy. This person skillfully made me think that the whole thing was real, and told me to act like I didn't know him at school (different social groups). We talked online about love poems and all that romantic kind of stuff.

However, I have recently found out that this whole thing is a lie. I have no idea who this person is, and they never come online any more. The boy that they were pretending to be now knows, and I'm sitting there wondering what to do. This person knows almost everything there is to know about me and I don't know who they are.

Now, since I am one of those people who tend to over-think things, I've gotten myself into a depressed and worried state. If you can give me any reassurance or anything to get me out of this depressed state please tell me. It's very appreciated.

There are councelors at my school as well. Do you think I should go to one?

Please help me with my little 13 year old troubles.....

The music definately helps. Thank you Celtic Radio!

Posted by: gtrplr 21-May-2004, 02:43 PM

frozenrose, I'd definitely talk to a counselor. I'd also talk to my parents and a pastor, if you have one. If you can't talk to them, find an adult you _do_ trust. If you gave this person information such as phone and address, I'd also consider going to the police, although I doubt they can do anything at this point.

It's possible that this person does know you, especially if he was posing as someone in your class. Did he give his name, or did he just say that he went to school with you? Did he call you by name first?

Having raised these questions, it's also very possible that this is nothing to worry about. Lot's of idiots online like to play head games, and girls your age are a common target. He (or she) may have just gotten tired of the game.

But I'd at least let someone else know, so that if anything should happen (he calls you, wants to meet, etc.) you have someone you can go to.

Posted by: tartangal 21-May-2004, 04:52 PM

Hi FrozenRose,
I,m sorry that you are feeling so low just now.
The first thing I would say is that you should not feel bad about this . You acted in good faith and opened your heart to someone that you thought you knew. That is nothing for you to be ashamed about- shame on them!!!
Secondly, I do agree with gtrplr, You should definitely speak with an adult that you trust and explain what has happened .Your safety is so important ( although it IS probably someone you know who is trying to mess with your head as a silly joke). I'm sure they will be able to reassure you and help get it into proportion - I know from personal experience that mulling these things over in your head without having a chance to discuss them with someone else tends to blow everything up to monster proportions and sometimes just saying it out loud to someone else can make it feel more controlled and managable.
I do hope that you fel better soon and get to put all this behind you.

Posted by: frozenrose97 21-May-2004, 06:22 PM

gtrplr-
ok, I'll go talk to my councelor. I did tell some of my close friends at school and now they are trying to help me out. I know the person goes to my school and is in some of my classes. They quoted what the teachers said to me. He didn't seem to know who I was when he first instant messaged me, but after we did the "hi, who are you?" he said he was this other boy and I gave him my name. I didn't give him my phone # or address, but there is a school directory so he could look it up.

Thanks for the advice. I hope this is all sorted out soon.

Posted by: frozenrose97 21-May-2004, 06:26 PM

tartangal- That helps a lot. I keep blaming myself for almost everything. I need to hear that every now and then.

Thanks for all of your advice. Sometimes we all need to go and find help, and reassurance. Thanks again.

Posted by: tsargent62 24-May-2004, 07:23 AM

Frozenrose,
I agree with tartangal. Don't blame yourself or feel ashamed. I understand why you feel that way and I know it's hard not to. Who ever this person is they lulled you into trusting them. Once someone has gained your trust it's easy for them to take advantage of you, which is exactly what they did. I definitely think talking to your counselor is a good decision. I hope he/she can help you sort it all out.

Todd

Posted by: barddas 24-May-2004, 08:00 AM

Hi, FrozenRose.

I will have to agree, Jules. Nothing to be ashamed over. Nothing at ALL. As I am sure you are well aware, sometimes people are just, jerks. Toying with ones emotions, and thinking nothing of it. It's not yer fault.

And anytime you need someone to talk to there are pleanty of us around here that will listen.. ( and in many different time zones!!!LOL!)

Posted by: Annabelle 24-May-2004, 05:33 PM

FrozenRose,
I agree too with what everyone said! Anytime you lay yourself open to another person and they betray your trust, it hurts. No matter how old or expierenced you are in these matters.
If you should come upon the culprit, let him know how much he hurt you and then let it go...talk to your councelors at school if you still feel uncomfortable.
You know it's possible this person your age at school feels something for you but can't bring himself to let you know and he may be embarassed by his conduct that he tricked you. Now he wants to know you but how does he do that when he' been dishonest. Either way, talk to people when you feel down and get it out. Holding all of that in doesn't help you at all.

Posted by: frozenrose97 24-May-2004, 06:01 PM

Well I'm now on the "waiting list" for my councelor. I hope letting all of this out will help me get over it. It tends to take me a long time to get over things, even those small ones, but i'll do my best.

I suppose that whoever it is, if it is a boy, could be feeling something for me. I'll see but it doesn't help if I don't know who it really is.

I told one of my good friends once that I don't think I could ever truely "hate" someone. This is definately stretching those limits, but hatred I do not feel at the moment. I just feel a lot of frustration and unsureness.

I also recently got a message from this person, today in fact. Therefore I know that the person will be able to be online again. Maybe that will help me to find out who it is.

Posted by: Annabelle 24-May-2004, 06:11 PM

FrozenRose, if he E-mails you again tell him you don't appreciate the way he has conducted his e-mails and unless he can come clean you will no longer respond to his e-mails. You may decide just to not repond due to the fact he's been dishonest. You do what YOU are comfortable with...sometimes it is not only easier to walk away from something, it's the right thing to do for you. I'm really glad you are talking about this with us and I know you are going to be better from now on.

Posted by: Donajhi 13-Aug-2007, 03:53 PM

HELLOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!???????

I have just read the postings to and from Frozenrose97. The last post was May 24, 2004. What happened????

Frozenrose97, if you are still out there, please add a postscript? Are you alright and how has the mystery played out?

Posted by: frozenrose97 09-Feb-2008, 01:10 PM

Donajhi- Thank you for commenting, though I last wrote three years ago. I cannot believe it has been so long. I am alright now. However, the mystery still remains a mystery. I'm just glad no real harm ever came of it. It just put my mind through such a spin. I'm really thankful everyone has been so supportive of me through this. I hope it doesn't happen again to me, or to anyone. I hope you see this reply too.

Posted by: Nara 09-Feb-2008, 06:35 PM

Frozenrose, glad to hear that things are better, and thanks for coming back to us again. One of my favorite things about CR is that there are plenty of listening 'ears' and sympathetic hearts when i'm feeling down. i'm glad you could find solace and guidance here and that you suffered no lasting harm from the experience.

Posted by: 0Ash0Tree0 09-Feb-2008, 06:39 PM

You could always try tracking his IP address if he or anyone else tries something like this.
Glad your okay!

Posted by: maggiemahone1 09-Feb-2008, 07:43 PM

when I have a problem and get thru it, I always think of it as one of life's lessons. It helps us to be more aware of what is going on and helps us to grow and not repeat what we have done. Your never to old to need someone to talk to, just make sure it's a reliable someone!

I am glad that your ok and I'm sure you have learned from all that went on at that time in your life.
Take Care and glad that your still with us here at celticradio...

Posted by: Shadows 10-Feb-2008, 08:51 AM

Even though communities such as this are a good place for "listening ears" they are not a good place to go for situations that require proffesional advice on personal issues. You don't know any of these people any more then you know who did this to you. 1st thing you should have done was talk to your parents, minister or school councelors. This could have had serious results for you. I am glad you are alright.
The web is a great place , but it has it's share of over trusting people that fall prey to the not so nice.

Having noticed that this is posted in "The Jesters Court" even makes me wonder of the validity of the original post. Why post it in a place for humor?

Posted by: frozenrose97 10-Feb-2008, 05:46 PM

Thank you all very much.

Shadows- You raise a good point. This website is in many ways no different than any other internet chat room. Everything has to be taken with a grain of salt. I'm definately more careful now after what happened, and that's why I have not been online as much for so long. Though, what is a world without some trust?
Ha, I'm not sure I even realized I was posting this in "The Jester's Court," because you're right in that this does not fit in a category for humor. I honestly cannot recall why I posted it here.

Posted by: Patch 24-Apr-2008, 08:37 AM

Be it life or the internet, you meet from the best of humanity to the worst.

As a child I do not remember warnings to watch out for strangers. The thing I do remember was my mother's terrible fear that I would fall through the hole of one of the many "out-houses" that were scattered around the Mid West at that time. Many were "WPA" projects from the 30's. I guess fears change as times do also.

Sl�inte,��

Patch

Posted by: Robert Phoenix 24-Apr-2008, 08:27 PM

There has been some radio ads in my area about this sort of thing. Online bullying is something that recently happened to my wife and daughter but we knew who the culprit was. I told them to just ignore their rantings and we just blocked the messages or deleted them with no response back whatsoever. They eventually just stopped when they found out that they couldn't get a rise out of us. Two months later the radio ads now say to do the same thing.
The reason this might be in jester court is because a couple of months ago the forum got a bit "scrambled" That may be what happened. I seem to remember this was originally in a different area.

Posted by: gcw57 04-Jun-2008, 11:00 PM

I'm glad that you are alright, too! As pretty much everyone has said - in the spaghetti plate of life, you are bound to run into a few meatballs! Well, okay, they said it better but I kind of like the sound of that one.

I realize that in no way were you so trusting as to share personal, 'where am i' type information but we had a situation on the West coast of the land up above where a girl unknowingly provided enough information to some creep who drove to Canada and actually talked her into going with him! I think she was 13 and he was 22 or something like that. Fortunately they were caught at the border and he was arrested and she sent home - frightened and stunned at what had happened to her.

There is no question that there are lots of creeps on the internet and in chat groups and whatnot, but I would like to think that Celtic Radio is a very safe place for people to talk - just not too much!

I understand the feelings from your first post and I hope that you have been able to put it behind you. We all make mistakes and, much as others forgive us...we still need to forgive ourselves. Be of clear mind and give yourself a smile.

(It makes everyone else wonder what you know that they don't).